     Mohamed | Friday, January 19, 2001 - 06:14 am
My brothers and sisters this is a real story and I need your intelligent advise.
8 years ago I married to my high-school sweetheart and we have 4 Boys together. we did have very good relationship up until in the last few years.
2 years after the marriage I started university and I finished it in 1998. My wife helped me through my schooling and without her help I wouldn't be where I am today. During my schooling I met a Somalian woman who was a student too and we had an affair and that affair produced a child, "boy". the woman whom I had the affair with didn't know that I was married, but she found out after she had discovered that she is pregnant. And she started insulting me, even calling me a lier and called the police on me and filled accusation letters in the court.
while I was trying to solve the problem my wife did find out the affair and it's result through a friend. At first, I denied it but she insisted me to tell her the truth which I did. she kicked me out of our apartment And for almost three years my wife didn't speak to me, while I paid her bills and support her financially. but she finally forgave me after I'd suffered that many years without her. The other woman took me to court and demanded a child support. My argument in court was that this woman planned to get pregnant while lying to me about the Birth-control bills she had told me that she was taking.
And finally the Judge,who was a woman,granted her request and I was ordered to pay a child support of 400.00 a month. I filed an appeal that court ruling was unjust and the ruling should be suspended on the grounds that I was not a willing participant of making this baby but I was a willing participant of the sex we had. The appeal court rejected my appeal and did up held the previous ruling. I spend a lot of money on defense lawyers and I went back to the same family court asking the custody of my son, accusing the mother that she can't be a fit mother. But the court declined my request and the case was over. I lost a lot of money in that case.
Now my wife, even thought, she said she forgave me she is perusing to divorce me. And after many begging and showing sorrows of my affair she still determine and destine for a divorce.
I love my kids very much and I can't live without them. if I divorce my wife I'll be living without my children and that is something that would make my life unlivable. I was trying to united my son with his other brothers but now I'm losing them all. And my wife is determine to divorce me, even her family are behind her for the divorce, I don't know the reason of why they want to their daughter
to get a divorce.
I'm human being and I made a mistake but I don't deserve to loose all my kids.
the woman I'd the affair is laughing at me and my wife and her family are laughing at me too.
I know I'll divorce my wife and if that happens I'll be single again with no kids. I'll only be allowed to visit them on the weekends, if I'm lucky.
I was wondering if I steal my kids and run to Somalia, or may be that is not a very good idea!
I've very good job in here and if I take them to Somalia, how should I support them?..
I don't know what should I do.
I need you help in this situations
and please be kind. I'd enough banishment already.
By the way, Mohammed is not my real name, but the rest of the story is true.
the reason I posted this story here is that neither my wife nor my mistress don't associate with the somalis and and they don't know this site.
thank you. |
| sulkha | Friday, January 19, 2001 - 09:19 am
Wow, Sorry, i can't give u a good advice, but u should've thought about your wife and kids, and kept your thing in your pants before all this.
It amazing how we women could keep our things where it belongs (pants), and u men can't.
shame on u. |
| asli | Friday, January 19, 2001 - 09:46 am
Wow,I feel bad for you mohamed. But all I have to say is that running to Somalia is not the answer you can be arrested and brought back to the u.s.
But you should have thought about what you did too bad you didnt. But what is done is done and now you have to suffer the conswequences!!!!
TOO BAD!!!!!!!!!! |
| batman | Saturday, January 20, 2001 - 11:39 am
Dear sufferer, as you said we all make a mistakes, that is true, because we are all human beings and allowed to do so, but we try to correct them and learn from them. I feel you brother, and I wish I could have the knowledge and guidance to help you with.
But I could say one thing I know for sure that you can do it. You have been a man enough to bring sons in to this world and dealt with their mothers in the past, and present. This families of yours will always be there, until the rest of your life. You should thank god that you are financially stable and may able to support them for times to come. Being an engineer, "you know things never stay the same forever". Your sons will grow up to be a men matter what? and you are the only father they got. Down the road their mothers may change their minds and be good to you, and help you to be the father they wanted for their children.
I think you should not worry what any one else says, and sometimes swallow your bride and stick to your principles. It is your life and your problem. Try to deal with the best possible, and ways you can. Running away from problems have never been the solutions. Be patient, prey for Allah, ask forgiveness and guidance. Allah can help us all to over come with the all the obstacles in life.
best of luck, |
| johnnyjake | Saturday, January 20, 2001 - 05:49 pm
Brother, brother - brother!
This is just another Nigga distraster story of how you were blessed with a good life, job and family and blew it all for the love of a strange woman! You dont know how many stories are like this in the Naked City.
God has gotten your attention! When you sin you get punished! Be thankful it could have been worst. Sometimes God punishes with death.
Your first thing is to ask God forgiveness, fast and pray. Maybe its not to late to save your current marriage. Tell your wife that you will turn your life around and be a better man. If she ever loved you she will forgive you if you are sincere. Just remember this, God has slapped your face hard - next time you sin could be much worst.
Keep to God's Laws and commandments and stay away from sin.
peace bro |
| Mursal | Friday, January 26, 2001 - 10:44 am
My dear brother;
you got yourself in the deep end, but there is always hope that things will turn around for you. It is very difficult for a single mother to raise four boys, all I will ask of you is to never let that women take all the responsibility, be there for her and your children. She had suffered much harder than you have, cuz while you were sleeping around she was at home taking a good care of the children.
Don't run, stay put and Inshaa'allah, you will be together again.
be possitive. |
| Melody | Friday, March 09, 2001 - 04:48 am
hello mohamed
in all to what u said is a very sad situation.
u know u had a wife but..why waste all that for a piece of nothing it was not worth it.
u had a brilliant wife who supported u in every way.. u could even say she was your bestfriend.
why did u get married in the first place u should have stayed single. what u done is very hurtful and u gave somali men a bad name..
u have brought life into this world which is very understanding.. bringing life into this world should have made even more mature than u were.
but in your case itz very different.
taken your children to somalia is not the answer.. itz like your running from your problems.
facing problems happends to most people but it make a person a stronger person. |
| Somali Man | Friday, March 09, 2001 - 09:49 am
Mohamed,
It happened all the time. Women also does that, they are having a good time with other man when their husbands at work. However, we as a Somali came to this country. This country didn't call us (come here, come here) and we have to deal all the problems.
Coming back to your problem let me give you an advice and do the following:
1. Call your wife and ask her if she want to go for a dinner.
2. If she agrees, get a flower and ask her to allow you to give her your love, if you can afford get the one they called (Monet Rose) that is the best.
3. Take her a good restaurant with a slow music.
4. Ask he if she would like to sped with you in Hilton or other (5*) hotel with a (Jekusi).
5. While you are in the hotel explain to her how much you mean to her and the children. Tel her if the kids grow up without father is like car without gas.
6. If you can afford take her and the children to vacation anywhere she want to.
Tel her there is forgiveness. Go from there and finally, good luck and God bless you and your family.
Sincerely,
Your Somali Brother |
| Hagi | Monday, March 19, 2001 - 06:03 am
A friend of mine once told me that when a community is going down in the drain, going to lose dignity and reputation, morals and ethics, their men act irrisponsibly, they become reckless, immoral and unreliable, that is what he said. One of the things that I have noticed lately is how disenfenchised our community in the Westertn countries is and all have taken a wrong direction because of us ...Men..dope heads like Mohamed and others.
I am not going to give lectures, or try to enforce here my emotional beliefs which is my religion, Islam, because i really can't tell from what i have read so far what religion u belong to but if u happen to share Islam with me then ur solution to the problem is very simple.
1. Unlike my friend who said take ur wife to Hilton's playground, i would like to say first "Towbad" meaning repent from ur sins i.e. Adultry, which is in Islam a very serious crime, punishable not only to take the kids away from u but death, very slow and painful death..stoning. Allah is very merciful and forgiving so i suggest u keep this thing very private and go before allah in prayers and ask Him for forgiveness.
2.Try to get rid of the foriegn ifluence in ur life, meaning the Western Culture which apparantly has caused u all this anguish and confusion.
3.allocate sometime for going to the Masjid and attending the islamic Schools in ur city. Study and act upon it.
4.encourage ur wife and children, obviously a victim of ur sins, to come with u to the Masjid, to the Islamic lessons and activities.
In short, Islam brothers and sisters is a complete guidance, it is a remedy to a lot of our problems and if we try disassociate Islam from ourlseves and lives, We only lose. Please just consider for once in ur life to make some change about ur current life styles...for better.
My prayers are with u Mohamed
May Allah show u the righ way to the problem
May he solve ur predicament like an ice dissolving in the heat of the sun
May he forgive u and us and reward us the best in this world and hereafter...
Peace be Upon U all
P.S. if i have offended anyone please accept my apologies...thank u |
| Observer | Tuesday, March 20, 2001 - 11:43 am
To Hagi:
Right on Bro...u just said what i wanted to say to Mohamed.
To: Mohamed
U can't go wrong with Islam..try to make a room for it.
bye |
| mumin | Friday, March 23, 2001 - 12:33 pm
Amen to that Haji. When one loses sight of Allah..one loses everything! |
| Muslimah | Saturday, March 24, 2001 - 02:25 am
Hagi
Will you Marry me please? I have been looking some one like u 4 long time Now........everything u sad here make sense 2 me..........peace |
| Jayte | Saturday, March 24, 2001 - 06:48 am
To: Mohamed
Listen to Hagi bro...He seems to know what he is talking about.
To:Hagi
If so many of us shared and truly believed that much u said then our problems in this part of the world and back home will be fewer. I repeat if one loses the sight of Allah one loses all
To: Muslimah
can I propose to u? Will u? |
| Muslimah | Saturday, March 24, 2001 - 07:36 am
Jate
NO.......reason.........look at your Name.....do I need 2 say more? give me Muslim name......and ask me again |
| Jayte | Saturday, March 24, 2001 - 08:02 pm
To: Muslima
May b u don't know that Jayte is an authentic Somali name, widely used by all Somalians and has its own meaning in Somali. Names like Roble, Geedi, Weheliye, Warfa and so many others which r common names but with no islamic connections, pure Somali is very popular. I guarantee u that if u trace ur own names back to ur tribe similar ones like Jayte can be found, non-Muslim names. however, I have taken ur point. to me, no means no. But be careful to fall for a cat like Mohamed.
Bye |
| Muslimah | Sunday, March 25, 2001 - 08:02 am
Jayte
What an Excuze....Listen br ask any Somali (Jayte) is not a Somali name neither is a MUSLIm Name....tel me the meaning if it Somali name....cuz i can understand the rest Somali name u mention above.
P.s.. Thanks for the good advice u have over me....cuz Name alone does not make the Person!
peace |
| Anonymous | Sunday, March 25, 2001 - 06:08 pm
Don't start beating the bushes people !
The situation is getting heated and I can picure Mr. Mohamed sitting with his hands on his head and you guys are trying to hit on each other......or something like that..
Jayte Stop doing what you doing and get back to the reall issue.
Muslimo; no need to be curious about names at this moment; just see if u can contribute ideas to our brother Mohamed who seem 2b in deep sh_it
Mahadsantihiin dhamaan; |
| Ghedi | Sunday, March 25, 2001 - 06:49 pm
brother Mohamed most of the help brother Hagi said very defined way ,and true muslims the day you said Qabiltu your marriage its moral trust , its oath that you promise to fulfill faithfully ,and your wife is human being and she also is suffering how you betrayed and all the sacrifices she put into this family..,some people are very emotion and it takes a long time to accept the damage and go forward ...from here give a time and show your repent..try to have friendly enviormant to your children and her ,if possible don't hesitate helping your family regardless how you feel less active in the family activity that will bring closer to your children and it might heal some of the damage ,and learn from your mistakes don't repeat ....may Allah save your family unity aaammiin |
| Anonymous | Sunday, March 25, 2001 - 10:22 pm
Brother you should be a shame of yourself.
First thing is first it's harma brother to have sex to someone that is not marriage to you and brother you should ask god for giveness. |
| Jayte | Tuesday, March 27, 2001 - 02:49 pm
To:Muslimah
I am very, very much disappointed in u Muslimah by saying that u don't know if Jayte, that beautiful nick of mine, is meant for something in our language. But that is awright a lot of our brothers and sisters dont know what a lot of words and names mean in Somali. It is not ur fault. That is the turn, though wrong turn, the youth have taken recently. anyhow I decided to leave it out there for the masses to define it for u.
To: anonymous #1
We feel sorry for Mohamed bro and I think the advice suggested by the brothers, Hagi and others is waiting for him to ponder over. Also we never tied his hands over his head.. He put himself in that situation he should know the exit, the solution by now. |
