     bahsan | Monday, January 29, 2001 - 10:54 pm
Can a Somali man and woman be just friends without the guy finally hitting on her.
Ok I am not generalizing Somali men here but I am talking from experience and I would love to hear from anyone who thinks otherwise.
I have just been going through these experiences for some years now. I was be friended by a lot of Somali guys. We became real close friends( in a brotherly/sisterly way). In most of the cases I treasured their friendship but unforutenately it would usually end when the guy wanted more out of the relationship. When I told them it was not possible but we should continue being just friends.
It would usually end in diaster with the guy finally denying that even at sometime we knew eachother. Some of these guys I had known for a couple of years and for them to simply pretend like we have never met was beyond my imagination.
As result of this, I have finally decided not become friends with a Somali guy cause his friendliness is usually a disguise. Or at least that is what I believe. What do you all think? |
| SOMALI-PSYCHO | Tuesday, January 30, 2001 - 12:03 am
ADAM & EVE WERE FRIENDS TOO!!!
DO YOU KNOW THAT AFTER ALL THOSE MILLION YEARS OF EVOLUTION SOMETHING HAVEN'T EVOLVED
AND THAT'S "THE NEED THE URGE THE ENVY THE DESIRE TO MATE NO TO BREAK THE LINK AND NOT
TO BEGAME THE WEAKEST LINK.
Peace |
| COOL CAT | Saturday, February 03, 2001 - 12:11 am
NOT ALL THE SOMALI GUYS I HAVE A LOT OF FRIENDS THAT GIRLS AND I NEVER THOUGHT I WOULD BE MORE THEN A JUST FRIEND. BECAUSE IF WE BECOME MORE THEN FRIENDS IT IS GOING TO EFFECT OUR REALTONSHIP AS FRIENDSHIP. |
| Ice-Man | Saturday, February 03, 2001 - 02:51 am
""I have finally decided not become friends with Somali guy cause his friendliness is disguise"""
hmmm Why Only Somali men? Shouldn't you be saying All men?
I Guess other Men are friendly, caring, Honest and no disguise in their Heart but truly need your Platonic friendship from you.
I hope you got my point
Later |
| kamal | Saturday, February 03, 2001 - 05:19 am
You have to clearify the issue bahsan!
First of all i have read a hadith from bukhari, that stated young men and women should have no relations with each other unless they are in the process of getting married to each other.
On the question at hand, i am sure a friendship can be forged that is based on mutual respect and common interest.
However there are always satuation where feelings can develop with time and eventually come to surface... this can cause serious problems between once real close friends... i do believe though that if the communication was there and it was good and worth something before any emotions were realised, the friendship can continue and be saved.
If the feelings cannot be resolved and hence only serves to disturb the lifes of those involved then i don't think there is any point in trying to continue, it is best those involved go their separate ways...
Personaly i would swollow my pride and try my best to save my friendship...
Bahsan true friendship survives the greatest of pains and tripulations... any guy friend who had a change of heart then found it impossible to resolve his feelings for you then as a result denied he ever knew you is just a kid... that is a friend you don't need and might have just been in hiding all that time cos he was too much of a coward to speakup from the beggining.
I have always believed true love is between mother and child... Honest love should be for allah[swt]... What develops between friends, between men and woman, has far more components then just pure love and hence should not be given too much credit... that is my opinion...
A friend of mine thought me, if i should love then it should be for the sake of Allah[swt]...I agree with her but my heart does what ever it wants... i must just pickup the pieces when it breaks...
S/calaykum |
| Mercutio- | Saturday, February 03, 2001 - 05:47 am
ANIMAL INSTINCT IT'S OUR JOB TO MATE WITH ANYTHING THAT WEARS GOODARAD AND DIRIC. |
| Basra | Saturday, February 03, 2001 - 07:02 am
Anything? Oh Lord Mercutio - how can thou be so vain? - i do declare - a monkey can wear Diraac and Goorgarad too! Me Lord - pray -would mating be in your mind then? lool |
| NINXOON | Saturday, February 03, 2001 - 08:48 am
BASHAN,
YOU SHOULDN'T BE HAVING ANY MALE FRIENDS IN THE FIRST PLACE ACCORDING TO OUR RELIGION .I DON'T CARE WETHER THEY ARE MANGOLIANS, ARABIANS, EAST EUROPEANS, WEST AFRICANS, EITHIOPEANS,OR IN THIS CASE SOMALIANS... PLAIN AND SIMPLE...GOT IT ! I HOPE SO.......
SALAM |
| Rahma | Saturday, February 03, 2001 - 09:33 am
Find yourself a girlfriends or no friends at all as a friend is not that important in this live you need a man who's going to take care of your needs and forget the rest.
The reason I am not big fan of having friends is I used to have a lot of friends and as I grow older I realized they were giving me bad advise friends are good when your in school and you can talk about the home work but other then that they can be your worst enemies specially the ladies.
Bye. |
| Guilty | Saturday, February 03, 2001 - 10:17 am
I agree with you Rahma
I am friendly with the most somalian guys in my area but we don't get in to each other alot
we play basketball together and that is all,
be friend with the one you love sista
Specially somalis they talk too much to be ohnest with you. |
| JOHN JOHN | Saturday, February 03, 2001 - 10:31 am
To Bahsan.
Well I am somali guy but I have femile friend whom I never consider to hit her. But the funny thing was that she lived same area that I used to live, and then I introduce to my mom. She calls and talk to my mom sometimes, but my mother never understood that me and this girl are friends. She keep asking me how could you have femile friend? what is the relationship between man and women who are not marrried. anyways I try to make to understand my mom, nevertheless, she never get it. So to go back to your story, yes you can have male friends aight.
peace |
| QARNIYOOS | Saturday, February 03, 2001 - 10:57 am
BAHSAN, WATCH THIS MOVIE:
WHEN HARRY MET SALLY.
YOU WILL LEARN A LOT FROM FREINDSHIP BETWEEN OPPOSITE SEX.
THE OTHER THING, THERE ARE SENSITIVE, CARING, FRIENDLY MEN WHO WANT HIT YOU AT ALL. THESE MEN ARE..YOU GET IT....FAGGOTS....LOL!!!!
BY THE WAY, U MUST BE SEXY IF EVERY MAN YOU BEFREIND WANNA HIT YOU. DAMN GIRL WHERE U AT? I WANNA BE YOUR FRIEND , YOUR LOVER ,...EVERYTHING//// |
| gabareey | Saturday, February 03, 2001 - 11:05 am
Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and good looking?
They all already have boyfriends.
--------------------------------------------------
Man says to God: "God, why did you make woman so beautiful?"
God says "So you would love her."
"But God," the man says, " why did you make her so dumb?"
God says "So she would love you." |
| kamal | Saturday, February 03, 2001 - 05:10 pm
Rahma we are from different backgrounds in terms of enviorment that we live in and also no 2men were created to be perfectly identicle...
Around 90% of my friends have always been female and will continue to be my friends if allah[swt] allows it... it is not easy but i think it is worth the effort. I have learnt a lot and i am sure i have highlighted a lot of meaningfull things to them too...
Guilty::: talking should be your least worry! there is nothing that happens or is said between me and my friends that i can hide from allah[swt], why should i care to tell anyone or fear to speak about anything also.
If you have no fear of what Allah[swt] thinks of you and what your friends discuss then why should you care what the people think...comeon
Qudunyoos... Having the ability to defferetiate between friendship and relationship takes a great deal of development from the cave man attitude you seem to share with us.....can i ask you then.. if sex means somuch to you how will you satisfy yourself till you get married... do you use oil or soap??? |
| Sirrus | Sunday, February 04, 2001 - 12:13 pm
Let me speak on this topic with passion. I have been there, I used to believe that a girl and guy can just be friends, now I hate even the notion of such.
There was a girl who was a friend of mine. for a long time we had relationship of pure fun and joy. She used to screen the girls for me, even made some of my girlfriends' jealous by the way she was in my life. When I needed to go out, there she was, better than any of my guy friends. After transition from 7 different girls, I realized she was the only constant thing in my life. That I looked up her characteristic in every girl. That she understood me more than any girl I can. So it happened, I ended up with feelings for her. then night after night I was tortured with prospect of telling her my feelings. you see once you go to that level there is no return. Knowing my direct personality, I told her point blank how I felt, but the feeling was not mutual, so we tried to keep up the friendship but to no success. So I lost a great friend because of this dam heart.
Quiet recently I told a recent friend (girl), that I don't believe in friendship between a guy and girl. I mean friendship with people of your own sex is the same as that with opposite sex, less the risk of falling in love. She misunderstood and ended up assuming that I was hitting on her. This case apart, I really believe a guy and girl should not be friends. Lets look at each other, the way nature meant to. As potential lovers.
Ladies wake up from your dream world, a world where a guy takes you out, romanticizes you, just to be friend. A world where guys are sweet, understanding and sensitive, where a guy spends so much time before he becomes intimate with you. That world doesn't exist, so wake up and smell the real world. Where most guys are trying to get into your pants, ASAP. A world, where guys take one look at a girl and based on her appearance decide if to pursue or not. I have no more to add, |
