     Mumba king | Friday, February 02, 2001 - 11:05 am
In the lavatory at work, we have a box of matches instead of Lysol. At least two or three times a day, I go into the bathroom for a few moments, to hide, read, and collect my thoughts. Yesterday I was sitting there, leafing through a book, and I began to light matches for no reason except to watch the flame. After lighting them, I'd toss them in the sink, two feet away. It was something to do with my hands, an absentminded action.
One of them didn't make it, and it was still slightly lit. It fell into the wastepaper can, below the sink. The paper in the basket smoldered for a minute, which I didn't notice, then caught fire.
I jumped up and turned on the faucet, trying to dump water over the edge into the basket with my hand, but the fire found something extremely inflammable before the water damped it down. Suddenly, with a "whoof," there was a rocket of flame shooting from the can, bringing the trash with it. My eyebrows came off immediately.
Reconstructing the event, I believe someone had put a can of spray adhesive in the basket. The can didn't explode from the heat, or otherwise there would have been shrapnel (and I would have been blinded), but the bottom of it burst off. Apparently, they're designed for that.
The release of pressure thrust out several pounds of loose paper into the air. The room turned black and thick with smoke. My pants were still around my ankles. I was covered with loose paper. Because the entire office menstruates during the same week, and it was that week, I was also encased in tampons.
I unlocked the door and emerged, choking, trying to hike up my pants with one hand, covered in snotty tissues, paper towels, and tampons. The bathroom behind me looked like a smoky circle of hell. Three coworkers stared, not comprehending.
I immediately tripped and lost the grip on my pants, so my black, bare ass pushed into the air, my dick. dangling below as I fell to my knees. I stayed there, with everyone staring--this only took a few seconds, but it seemed longer--and the alarm system sounded. Then the sprinklers went off, causing $40,000 damage to the computer systems in the office. Consequently, I was dismissed-without a letter of recommendation. |
| Anonymous | Friday, February 02, 2001 - 12:07 pm
In Melbourne, Fl. one of the radio stations paid money ($100-$500) for people to tell their most embarrassing stories. This one netted the winner $300.....
She said: I was due later that week for an appointment with the gynecologist when early one morning I received a call from his office. I had been re-scheduled for 9:30 AM that morning. I had just packed everyone off to work and school, and it was around 8:45 already. The trip to his office usually took about 35 minutes so I didn't have any time to spare. As most women do, I'm sure, I like to take a little extra effort over hygiene when making such visits, but this time I wasn't going to be able to make the full effort. So I rushed upstairs, threw off my dressing gown, wet the washcloth and gave myself a wash in "that area" in front of the sink, taking extra care to make sure that I was presentable. I threw the washcloth in the clothesbasket, donned some clothes, hopped in the car and raced to my appointment. I was in the waiting room only a few minutes when they called me in. Knowing the procedures, as I am sure you all do, I hopped up on the table, looked over at the other side of the room and pretended I was in Hawaii or some other place a million miles away from here. I was a little surprised when he said: "My...we have taken a little extra effort this morning, haven't we?", but I didn't respond. The appointment over, I heaved a sigh of relief and went home.
The rest of the day went normal, some shopping, cleaning and the evening meal, etc. At 8:30 that evening my 14 year old daughter was preparing to go to a school dance, when she called down from the bathroom, "Mom - where's my washcloth?" I called back for her to get another from the cabinet. She called back, "No I need the one that was here by the sink. It had all my glitter and sparkles in it." |
| Anonymous | Friday, February 02, 2001 - 12:10 pm
For the first time
A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night and have dinner with her parents. Since this is such a big event, the girl announces to her boyfriend that after dinner, she would like to go out and make love for the first time. Well, the boy is ecstatic, but he has never had sex before, so he takes a trip to the pharmacist to get some condoms.
The pharmacist helps the boy for about an hour. He tells the boy everything there is to know about condoms and sex. At the register, the pharmacist asks the boy how many condoms he'd like to buy, a 3-pack, 10-pack or family pack. The boy insists on the family pack because he thinks he will be rather busy, it being his first time and all.
That night, the boy shows up at the girls parents house and meets his girlfriend at the door. "Oh I'm so excited for you to meet my parents, come on in!" The boy goes inside and is taken to the dinner table where the girl's parents are seated. The boy quickly offers to say grace and bows his head. A minute passes, and the boy is still deep in prayer, with his head down. 10 minutes pass, and still no movement from the boy. Finally, after 20 minutes with his head down, the girlfriend finally leans over and whispers to the boyfriend, "I had no idea you were this religious." The boy turns, and whispers back, "I had no idea your father was a pharmacist." |
| Hope | Monday, February 05, 2001 - 09:49 pm
Ooooooh my God !!!!
the last posting just killed it , oooh my god, i swear my jaw dropped.
My god, that was one hell of an embaresment. |
| warfaa | Tuesday, February 06, 2001 - 10:43 am
This is an old true stories. Two friends were sitting together one afternoon watching poeple who were crossing the road. Both were from Buhodle and knew well each other. A gril crossed the road, one of them started to talk about her. look this gril, she is looking for me, I think, she is the one I had sex with her last night. He continued to talk about her. Suddently the other looked clossed the girl as she was passing them with smile and he recognized that the girl was his sister. The other guy was still talking about her and waiting coments his friend. What did you think her? is not she lovely? The other guy said. Without mentioned that the girl was his sister. "gaydhow burco kalabaro" |
| anon | Tuesday, February 06, 2001 - 02:50 pm
Lol@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ at the last two anonymouses! |
