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SomaliNet Forums Archives: Before May 2001

Yes, thanks to SomaliNet Communuity, Somalis took advantage of the internet at its infancy!

SomaliNet Forum (Archive): General Discusions: General (Current): A RIDDLE , what am i...
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spike

Friday, April 06, 2001 - 09:10 am
WHAT AM I???

THIS USEFUL TOOL, COMMONLY FOUND IN THE RANGE OF 8 INCHES LONG, THE
FUNCTIONING OF WHICH IS ENJOYED BY MEMBERS OF BOTH SEXES, IS USUALLY FOUND
HUNG, DANGLING LOOSELY, READY FOR INSTANT ACTION.

IT BOASTS OF A CLUMP OF LITTLE HAIRY THINGS AT ONE END AND SMALL HOLE AT
THE OTHER. IN USE, IT IS INSERTED, SOMETIMES SLOWLY, SOMETIMES QUICKLY,
INTO A WARM, FLESHY, MOIST OPENING WHERE IT IS THRUST IN AND DRAWN OUT
AGAIN AND AGAIN MANY TIMES IN SUCCESSION, ACCOMPANIED BY SQUIRMING BODILY
MOVEMENTS.

ANYONE FOUND LISTENING IN WILL MOST SURELY RECOGNIZE THE RHYTHMIC, PULSING
SOUND RESULTING FROM THE WELL LUBRICATED MOVEMENTS.

WHEN FINALLY WITHDRAWN, IT LEAVES BEHIND A JUICY, FROTHY, STICKY WHITE
SUBSTANCE, SOME OF WHICH WILL NEED CLEANING FROM THE OUTER SURFACES OF THE
OPENING AND SOME FROM ITS LONG GLISTENING SHAFT.

AFTER EVERYTHING IS DONE AND THE FLOWING LIQUIDS HAVE CEASED EMANATING, IT
IS RETURNED TO ITS FREELY HANGING STATE OF REST, READY FOR YET ANOTHER BIT
OF ACTION.

WHAT AM I???????

AS YOU MAY HAVE ALREADY GUESSED, THE ANSWER TO THE RIDDLE IS NONE OTHER
THAN YOUR VERY OWN..........TOOTHBRUSH


.........

Oh come on ,What else were you thinking?

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Anonymous

Friday, April 06, 2001 - 09:30 am
Damn, where do you get this stuff.
I admit, i was thinking about something else

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Honesita

Friday, April 06, 2001 - 11:24 am
loooooooooooooooooool@Spike.....i was thinkin' that too......shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit....i was about to fall of da chair again...!!

Salaam

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spike

Friday, April 06, 2001 - 11:29 am
Man. Honesita . where have you been, i have't seen your postings for a while. i got worried, you might have found some one else.Do't you know your the reason i come to the net. lol
latter sweety

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FBI

Friday, April 06, 2001 - 12:48 pm
spike,

you child molester you know she is only 16 years
and how about you spike??????nasty basterd

you better stay the hell away from this child

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spike

Friday, April 06, 2001 - 01:10 pm
FBI, she is 19 man. atleast that was my understanding. 16 naaah. come on man

Honesita is that right, are u 16.

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Honesita

Friday, April 06, 2001 - 01:21 pm
lol@spike.......u understand good baby....!!
I was around.....i dont know why u say i was not....!!

FBI......thanx dear but i did not ask u to protect me.....and i am not 16 years old....lord have mercy....lol!!

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ode.ym

Friday, April 06, 2001 - 01:43 pm
Man i thought you were talking about a mob to the end!!! even the white stuff part..foam!

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Basra

Friday, April 06, 2001 - 07:10 pm
What am i?


I am usualy clumsy and stupid,my middle name is chauvinist,i like to act macho and play egotistic,i hate to use my brain,and most of the time they call me scrub.My sex has four letter name,

M-en

A-re

L-azy &

E-gotistic

Who am i?

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Basra_supporter

Saturday, April 07, 2001 - 05:40 am
sorry who ever you are, i guess you wanted a sleezy ending? And you ain't basra she never expresses herself with less then 10lines of text so stop being stupid and makeup your own name!

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unknown

Saturday, April 07, 2001 - 05:12 pm
I was totally thinking about something else for a second there(okay I admit I thought it until you told us what the thing actually was)That was soooooo funny!!keep it up Spike

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sheikh cabdi

Saturday, April 07, 2001 - 05:46 pm
damn you basra, i couldn't hold my disappointment this time. why start the "BATTLE OF THE SEXES". huh? it's totally uncalled for. i don't think you need to wake up the "wild dogs" iam really angry at you ,but i won't express my anger any further. feminism will only damage even more ,the already battered relationship of the somali men/women. it willn't serve any meaningfull purpose . next time eithier say something positive or keep it to yourself. no harm intended. just an advice lady
hey spike, listen dude,i must admit that this was funny, i don't think it's appropriate to post it on the somalinet, so keep it clean next time you post man.
peaceeeeeeeeeeeeeeee ppl

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GhettoGirl

Saturday, April 07, 2001 - 06:49 pm
I'm fat,really fat! People have trouble seeing me in the daytime.My mom is a single mother who collects welfare money.At the age of 13 I found out I was a wacel.I'm bald headed.My hobbies include female bashing and long conversations at local donut shops. I use to go to devry but got kicked out because of my attendence record. I'm a part time cab driver.

Who Am I?


The answer is Ninxoon

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ninxoon

Monday, April 09, 2001 - 06:20 am
GhettoGirl .how did you find out about me
and what i do. and who i am.
I could't have discribed myself any better

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PlayBoyBunny

Monday, April 09, 2001 - 07:06 am
GGirl u missed out his increasing interest and appetite for the so called "toothbrush"

In his case, he wishes it could very well be a "baseball bat"

ouch u'r too brave for me Ninx

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SweetNatured

Monday, April 09, 2001 - 07:54 am
LooooL?@Spike,

Ya, dat was bombastic man..As I was readin' it, I could not help but check myself to see if da descriptionz match...But I was damn fooled!!!..That sayz something about da human brain dat we, sometimes, tend to reach conclusions without any observations..Yeah, I haven't seen postingz by da twin-like sisterz da T-Girl and Honesita...

Respectz
SweetNatured

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Mad-Man!

Monday, April 09, 2001 - 08:46 am
Dumb Muslim???!!
Aight... THIS AIN'T NO RIDDLE BUT CHECK IT OUT!!>>

A very beautiful woman was walking on the roof of a building when she suddenly trips and falls over. On her way down, an American man catches her from his balcony.
She says: 'Oh thank you, you saved my life, I'll do ANYTHING for you...'

The man says: 'Okay then, sleep with me.'

She replies: 'You PIG!! NEVER!!'

He says: 'FINE!' and he drops her down.

So she's falling and screaming again when a German man catches her in the air from his balcony.

She says :'Oh thank you, you saved me, I'll do anything that you ask...'

The guy says : 'Fraulein, sleep with me.'

She replies: 'Oh you nasty pig!!! NEVER!'
So the man says: 'Fine!!!' and he also drops her down again. She's falling and thinking that it was better if she had slept with one of those men and now she's going to die. Suddenly, a Muslim man catches the woman from his balcony.

She says: 'Oh thank you, you saved my life, I'll SLEEP with you!!'

The Muslim man replies : 'Astaqfirulla'h!' and he drops her.

Mad-Man!-

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spike

Monday, April 09, 2001 - 08:51 am
Mad man, that was funny, but would have been
better without the first line you started with, about muslim being dumn

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@%$3

Monday, April 09, 2001 - 09:16 am
Spike

You got me this time, walaahay you fool me I thought about something else..Keep it up son..

sweetnatured

Yo, I cant believe you are adopted dat name..
why dont you come up your own name instead of asking these chicks? I suggest you keep dat name
you had early ==>Nameless<=== No hard feeling bro
just trying to help you out...

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Honesita

Monday, April 09, 2001 - 11:51 am
I think SweetNatured sounds a lot better than #@#$^6.......dont u guys think so too...!!

Mad-Man.....that was funny as hell.......what up with the title though.......u should be suing the jokes site u got it from by now....!! We can share da $$$ right...!!

Salaam

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Honesita

Monday, April 09, 2001 - 12:25 pm
Ey i just got this in my email and i thought it would be a riddle or close...!!
--------------------------------------------
once upon a time
There lived a king. The King had a
beautiful daughter, the Princess.


But the kingdom was a sad place.
There was no laughter, and no joy.
The problem was, that
everything the Princess touched would melt.
No matter what, metal, wood,
plastic...anthing she touched would melt!!


Because of this, men were afraid of her.
Nobody would dare marry her.
The king despaired.
What could he do to help his
beautiful daughter?
He consulted his wizards and magicians.


One wizard told the king, "If your
daughter touches one thing that
does not melt in her hands, she
will be cured."


The King was overjoyed. The next
day, he held a competition. Any man
who could bring his daughter an
object that would not melt at her
touch, would marry her and inherit
the King's wealth.

Three young princes took up the challenge.


The first Prince brought a very hard
alloy of titanium.
When the Princess touched it, it
melted. The Prince went away sadly.

The second Prince brought a huge
diamond, thinking that diamond is
the hardest substance in the world
and will not melt.


But, alas, once the Princess touched
it, it melted. He too went away disappointed.

The third Prince approached. He
told the Princess, "Put your hand
in my pocket and feel what is in there."
The Princess did as she was told,
though she turned red.


She felt something hard. She held
it in her hand...and it did not melt!!


The King was overjoyed!
Everybody in the kingdom was
overjoyed!

And the third Prince married the
Princess and the both lived
happily ever after.

The question is?!?!?!?


What WAS the object in the Prince's pocket???
v
v
v
v
v
v
v
v
v
v
v
v
v
v
v
v
v
v
v
v
v
v
v
v
v
v


They were M&M's, of course.
THEY melt in your MOUTH,
NOT in your HAND!!

(What were YOU thinking?)
------------------------------------------
Salaam

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spike

Monday, April 09, 2001 - 12:52 pm
lol. their is something else she might have touched. looool.

just imagine with a hole in the pocket

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jaylani

Monday, April 09, 2001 - 12:54 pm
mad-man,
who in the hell you calling dump Muslims?????

are you muslim????
i guess not..ha
what a low life,low I.Q...bitch

that's what happen when you let a flight 13
lose in the western societies...complete idiot
are you trying to be (solman roshdi"the african version?? OR what......explain this one to me fool

mad-man...i suggest you drop the crack pipe and
go to the nearest mosque in your community and ask
for god forgiveness..you refugee mothafucka

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Mad-Man

Monday, April 09, 2001 - 01:42 pm
lol@honista !!

Jaylani....
Bitch why dont u stick ur stinking fingers in ur dirty asss.... What kind of questions are u asking punk? listen up fag... i am Muslim and if punks like u can't stand the humor, i dont give a sh*t !
To the Rest....
My sincere apologiez in accordance with my above posting.... seems like u all misunderstood the title of the joke!
The title indicates dat the Muslim bro wasn't dumb.... but a religious fellah! to break it down to foolz like Jaylani that need every single detail of words explained to them like a baby..... here in goes>>>>> basically it is in a question form : "was the muslim dumb? "....and it doesn't indicate that he was actually dumb 4 dropping the lady!!

..... jaylani.. u got such a small mentalily i have to break down the whole damn joke 4 u to understand !!

Mad-Man!

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jaylani

Monday, April 09, 2001 - 02:01 pm
mad-man,

don't hate me because I showed every one how
idiot you are...you can't even pause for a minute
b4 you wright and think what you about to wright

don't hate me....it wasn,t me who wrote that sh*t
it was your sorry refugee ass :)

and that's all I needed you to do explain
then apologize then shut the fuc*k up..you dump ass


p,s/the joke sucked by the way...no humor in your
stories....stick with your war,refugee camp stories....nice try kiddo

mad-mac: how much is the fare now days from capital hill to sea-tac airport??????

mad-man...b4 you reply to me relax and get tall
warm cup of fresh indian SHAHH...then reply to me
so you won't make the same mistake again(I'm just
looking out 4 best interest......I'm out