     needadvice | Saturday, April 07, 2001 - 10:29 pm
Hello brothers and sisters!!!!
I'm only asking for advice from my bro/and sis who are intelegent and can only give advice when the situation is like this........ boy and girl who have been together more than 7 years. I have a boyfriend who is really sweat, but the problem is this we never talked about our future...i mean (guur) of course...(halaal ah) anyway he never says anything about marriage.He always tell me how much he missed me and how much he loves me and all that crab......The problem is this he lives another state, and we only communite on the phone and sometimes on email. I tried to talke about marriage with him, but he never say anything about it......so I was wondering you guys give me some advice about my situation in approciate way that i would deal with it. And keep this in mind that the only reason that I'm asking you guys your advice is that i you feel you guys are my brothers and sisters, and i know that you guys will not going to give me some kind of unnessecary advice..........Thank you i will appreciate............... |
| Doctor Ruth | Saturday, April 07, 2001 - 10:33 pm
Sweety it's not our fault you made yourself cheap and free on him.A girl has to be 'qaali' and respectufl of her womanhood.Do you ever heard of the phrase-"If you have free cow,why go for expensive cow for milk".You get my point now honey.You made your bed,lie on it. |
| kingmaker | Sunday, April 08, 2001 - 03:32 am
sis
try to talk to him and and if he avoids the subject ask him why he does not want to talk about.
ask him what he intends to do about your relationship.
You need to find out the truth and u deserve that. |
| needadvice | Sunday, April 08, 2001 - 07:17 am
Thank you kindmaker, i will probably take your advice and see the result........Thank you....But what a jurk......Doctor Ruth......Do you thin that i made myself that cheap...well I don't think so..Sometime i hate deal with brothers, not all the brothers. Brothers who are like you Doctor Ruth or whatever you call yourself...I will never gonna ask you advice, and i don't think no one wants your advice jack*****ss, get a life......................... |
| BIBI | Sunday, April 08, 2001 - 04:09 pm
FIRST OF ALL LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIPS NEVER WORK,
SECOND OF ALL WHAT IS THE RUSH......I MEAN AS MOST SOMALI WOMEN WHO RUSH INTO MARRIAGE END UP IN DIVORCE SO MY ADVICE TO U IN BUILD A LIFE FOR YOURSELF I MEAN GET AN EDUCATION, AND IF U ARE EDUCATED BUILD A CAREER DON'T MAKE A MARRIAGE A PRIORITY AND HOPEFULLY THE RIGHT MAN WILL PROPOSE OR U KNOW IT IS THE 21ST CENTURY IF U WANT IT THAT BAD PROPOSE WHAT U GOT TO LOSE
BIBI |
| GhettoGirl | Sunday, April 08, 2001 - 04:28 pm
"If you have free cow,why go for expensive cow for milk"
What on earth are you saying?
You make no sense so bizounce!
To:Needadvice
Ignore this fool(DrRuth) he is just trying to get to you. Anyhow...about your boyfriend even though my opinion doesn't really matter I'll tell you anyway. I think that you could do much better then him. What you need to do is go out and find yourself a real man not a boy. It takes a while for a man to fully grow mentally. Your boyfriend isn't ready for a commitment now what he needs is a baby sitter to change his diapers capishe.
So I suggest " you drop that zero and go get yourself a hero"
Peace |
| Anonymous | Sunday, April 08, 2001 - 05:14 pm
ghetogirl
i think dr ruth meant
if you can get a free cow,why pay for one,either way you get the milk. |
| Anonymous | Sunday, April 08, 2001 - 05:20 pm
I think the say in goes as follows:
" If I can get the milk for free, why buy the cow? |
| Anonymous | Sunday, April 08, 2001 - 05:23 pm
LAST ANON
FUCCK YOU |
| needadvice | Sunday, April 08, 2001 - 09:11 pm
Even though, it is hard to loose someone that you have been with so long, but then sometimes it is worth to loose, Ghettogirl, thanks......That is what i though for the first, but i was so skeptical about it...but now i think he is not ready for commitment and he even doesn't want to talk about it eather. However, i really don't know whether to broke up with him or waite until he is ready for commitment. Anyway, thank for your advice.........I will think about it. |
| LiberalL. | Sunday, April 08, 2001 - 09:22 pm
NeedAdvice!
I agree with Gethogirl. Honey seven years is a long time, what on earth r u doing with him. He might tell u that he loves and all, but words are just words and don't count for alot. I say set him straight, It's about time girl. Do u want to be with him for another seven years and not knowing where u stand. U deserve better sweety.
I hope that was helpful.
LiberalL |
| manaxe | Sunday, April 08, 2001 - 11:32 pm
first of all, DR RUTH havent said anything offending at all. What on earth is it that ye ppl are after ? a CHARACTER TO TARNISH AND DESTROY WALAAHI YE ALL SEEM LOSERS ,.
gHETTOGIRL AND ALL THE REST U OWE DA GUY AN OPPOLOGY. wALAAHI.
Ye made your bed so lie on it is a grandiose saying and fits exactly the circumstances this sister is in,
You have been with a guy who fails to discuss with you bout da future, and ye are still with him while ye are sane and mature and a thinking human being.
all i can say is,,,ye made your bed so lie on it.
You are a dump and a fool in a rollor coaster ride. Enjoy it. |
| kingmaker | Monday, April 09, 2001 - 12:12 am
sis
you spent with this man a 7 years and that is long time . and u agree with me it does not worth to throw away for something you can talk and at least give chance to talk and discuss throughly.
so please rule out breaking up at this stage.
there are some pple who are scare of commitmnet for many reasons but talking and helping each other will pave the way for u.
All relationships have its downs and ups so what rel make work is working together when it is its down.
i can see that you 2 have something so please don't let go easily.
good luck .. |
| needadvice | Monday, April 09, 2001 - 06:41 am
Thanks kindmaker, i might try to talk about it, and see the result, as you said all relationships have ups and downs, but in terms of marriage, it should be the first thing that the 2 people should talk about, right? I still don't know why we haven't talk about marriage, and don't think that it is my fault, by not starting the topic about marriage.
hey manaxe, do you think that you can give an advice for someone who is in a situation of matter of death? well i don't think so, becuase all i asked was an advice, but not insult, anyways, there are so many other people that i would thank for thier advice but you, no, non, none, nara..............
Thank kindmaker, and all you guys who gave me some advice or said approcaite word to me.............. |
| Honesita | Monday, April 09, 2001 - 08:27 am
NeedAdvice......sis u r in a big trouble...!!
One......what do u say to some1 on the phone for 7 YEARS........if he is not commitment material u should've known from the start.......and for u to ask a guy to be commited to u is not ----- -u know-.....appropriate....!!
Two.......it is not wrong for u to walk out of a 7 year long relationship if u not happy or not gettin' what u want out of it......!! It's ur life not his feelings....!!
He could be scared of the idea or just does not know how to pop it up......so just ask this....'where is this relationship headed to'........and u have to be the judge from his response.....!!
Wish ya best of luck....!!
Salaam |
| T-GIRL | Monday, April 09, 2001 - 08:55 am
NeedAdcice
7 yrs.............Lord have mercy. Girl U should have a spoon of dhiig kuleel and ask him to pucker up or ship off. U R a woman and if we don't get what we want in a shop......we take our business elsewhere......CAPISHE. If the brother hasn't proposed yet.......trust me there are millions queuing up to look at your radiant smile. Girl I don't blame him......I blame U for being so sweet. Next time he calls tell him....... DO NOT PROPOSE TO A MAN......It is a big "HELL NO"....Tell him he is holding you up and U got places to go people to see.......U will see a noticable difference in a couple of weeks.
Some men are so stupid they take U for granted. They never propose and in the process they hold U up of having a life...If he says he is scared then he wasn't man enough anywayz........Go look for a MAN.....Not a BOY......
PEACE |
| faaisa | Monday, April 09, 2001 - 10:04 am
Acuudka naa maxaa tiri 7 years?
ka kac meesha waa hurudaa qof yahee haduu kuu soo socon hadalkaaga qaaliga ha maka deysatdoo xabiibtii.
T_GIRL absolutly right ishaa ka tuurtey |
| needadvice | Monday, April 09, 2001 - 10:52 am
Hey T-Girl, thanks for the some kind of the advice. But to tell you the truth, we have been in kenya, and that is where we met, not here especially on the phone, for God seeks, no....we haven't seen each other for 2 years now. anyway, what is the advice anyway? guys......is this the advice....thanks guys...........................
To Honesita.........sister/ brother.. I'm not saying that i will pop up the Q, but i was just asking advice..................... |
| Honesita | Monday, April 09, 2001 - 11:11 am
NeedAdvice.....i'm a SIS, sis....!!
U still need advice after all this...!!
1. "drop the zero and get ur self a zero"
Leave his sorry a$$ girl...!!
2. "it does not worth to throw away for something you can talk and at least give chance to talk and discuss throughly"
Talk about it and see what he says...!!
3. "it's ur life not his feelings"
Dont even regret it....worry about u for now...!!
4. "DO NOT PROPOSE TO A MAN"
She means its a big hell no....lax waaxidna ku dar...!!
5. "ka kac meesha waa hurudaa qof yahee haduu kuu soo socon hadalkaaga qaaliga ha maka deysatdoo xabiibtii"
She said meesha ka kac...!!lol
Salaam |
| SomaliCream | Monday, April 09, 2001 - 11:12 am
I completely agree with T-girl and Honesita
sis 7 years is just too long to wait for some sort of commitment, I would at least be expecting to be engaged or some sort of sign saying that there is a future. This is partly your fault, you should have questioned your uncertainty and realised after the third year that this man is just does not want to be married, it would have a saved you a lot of time, effort and heart break if only you have realised this earlier.
Well as we can't change the past, i would say talk to the brother and simply as him where is this relationship is going, and if he does not give you some sort of answer, then you know that it is time to get out of this hopless relationship, stop wasting your time and find some one else that can appreciate you.
There is no point for a future less relationship, end it NOW. |
| Mr | Monday, April 09, 2001 - 03:16 pm
Assalamu Alaikum,
Dear NeedAdvice it seems to me that you and your counterpart never really discussed your future. Neither one of you pondered beyond the love that you have for each other. I understand, it is usually the man’s responsibility to lead and conduct the relationship; however in this era many things have changed. Maybe your Love didn't want to speak of marriage, because he didn't want to either get rejected or didn't want to come across too serious. I mean, usually if the woman wants more, she is the one who inquires about how many children we want, what it would be like on our wedding day, etc. If there was no such indication coming from you, then that leads to misunderstandings. I believe the root problem here is that we have you and your love, who are very much in love but do not know how to communicate. My dear sister, I believe that you will get your answer one way or another by taking the direct approach and asking him. Moreover you must realize sometimes what we love are not for our best interests and we must learn to abstain from them. I wish you luck, and either way, tomorrow is another day, so be grateful.
Wassalam Wabilaahi Towfiiq |
| needadvice | Monday, April 09, 2001 - 11:10 pm
Mr, you seemed like someone who know how to advice ulike Maxane and GhettoGirl. yeah there was a time when i thought that we were having some sort of miscommunicating, but I don't think that this is my fault. I know that a lot things out there, I also feel sometimes that there are a lot of things out there that I'm missing. The only thing that I'm in with this long some sort of misserable relationship is that I'm student, I go to University, and I'm not that ready for marriage or commitment eather, but my question is that, Shouldn't people talk about marriage since they are in a relationship? What is the priorities in a relationship? Basically, I'm not happy with this relationship, but there must be some way that i can end this relationship. Again, is there anything left in the tank? I mean any advice to end this relationship? The only thing that I have in my mind right at point is my education and what i want to be, and i don't think it will be a great idea to have for me some kind of distraction right? I will try my best, in terms of my relationship and education at the same time............Thanks all of you who did gave me "Advice"..............by from needadvice.....................................
By the way guys this is "The best" discusion i ever have.................... |
