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     | Sunday, July 09, 2000 - 05:28 am How to Make Your Husband Happy ================================================= Assalamu `alaikum wa rahmatullah! This is the continuation of the summaries of the two books by Sheikh Mohammed Abdelhaleem Hamed. The following is Part 1 of a summary of the second book ""How to Make Your Husband Happy"". In the Name of Allaah, The Most Merciful, The Most Compassionate Assalamo Alaykom Warahmatu Ullahi Wabarakatuh -------------------------------------------------- To help strengthening the Muslim families and spread the teachings of Islam in building families. The books are Arabic by Sheikh Mohammad Abdelhaleem Hamed. An Egyptian scholar, Who graduated from the Islamic University of AlMadinah Al-Munawwarah in Saudi Arabia. The two books are:1- How to make your wife happy ================================================== 2- How to make your husband happy These are the best Arabic books I have seen on this subject. They exceed the traditional presentation of stating rights and duties to the 'Adab (good manners) and extend into application of these rights in daily life. The following summary highlights mainly the responsibilities or examples of what could or should be done. Every single item mentioned by the author is supported by evidences from Qur'an, Sunnah or the actions of the companions, but evidences are omitted in this translation. The following is the translation of the SECOND book. This translation is copyrighted to MSA at University of Alberta. Feel free to repost it or reprint it by all means, provided that you do not make any changes, additions, or omissions without permission. How to make your Husband happy !! (Part 1) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The following is part ONE of a summary of the book "How to make your husband happy" by Sheikh Mohammed Abdelhaleem Hamed. 1- Beautiful Reception ---------------------- After returning from work, school, travel, or whatever has separated you, begin with a good greeting. * Meet him with a cheerful face. * Beautify and perfume yourself. * Start with good news and delay any bad news until he has rested. * Receive him with loving and yearning sentences. * Make hard efforts for excellence of the food & having it ready on time. 2- Beautify and soften the voice ------------------------------------------------ * For your husband only, it shouldn't be used in front of non-mahram men (men who can marry you if you were unmarried). 3- Smelling Good and Physical Beautification -------------------------------------------- * Taking good care of your body and fitness. * Put on nice and attractive clothes and perfumes. * Bath regularly and, after the monthly period, remove any blood traces or bad smells. * Avoide that your husband observes you in dirty clothes or rough shape. * Avoide prohibited types of ornamentation, e.g. tatoo. * Use the types of perfumes, colors, and clothes that the husband likes. * Change hair style, perfumes, etc. from time to time. * However with these things you should avoid excessiveness and, of course, only act as such in front of mahrem men and women. 4- Intercourse-------------- * Hasten for intercourse when your husband feels compulsion for it. * Keep your body clean and smelling good as possible including cleaning yourself of released fluids during intercourse. * Exchange loving phrases with your husband. * Leave your husband to fully satisfy his desire. * Choose suitable times and good occasions for exciting your husband, and encouraging him to do intercourse, e.g. after returning from a travel, weekends, etc. 5- Satisfaction With What Allah (SWT) Has Allotted -------------------------------------------------- * You shouldn't be depressed because your husband is poor or works in a simple job. * You should look at poor, sick, and handicapped people and remember Allah (SWT) for all that was given to you. * You should remember that real wealth lays in Iman and piety. 6- Indifference to Worldly Things * You should not consider this world as your hope and interest. * You should not ask your husband for many unnecessary things. * Asceticism does not mean not to enjoy what is good and permissible (Halal), but it means that one should look forward to the hereafter and utilize whatever Allah SWT gave them to achieve paradise (Jannah). * Encourage your husband to reduce expenses and save some money in order to give charity and feed poor and needy people. 7- Appreciation--------------- * By the saying of the prophet, the majority of people in hell were women because they were ungrateful and deny the good done to them. * The result of being grateful is that your husband will love you more and will do his best to please you in more ways. * The result of being ungrateful is that your husband will be dissappointed and will start asking himself: Why should I do good to her, if she never appreciates? 8- Devotion and Loyalty ----------------------- * In particular in times of calamities in your husband's body or business, e.g. an accident or a bankruptcy * Supporting him through your own work, money, and properties if needed. 9- Compliance to Him -------------------- * In all what he commands you, unless it is prohibited (Haram). * In Islam, the husband is the leader of the family, and the wife is his support and consultant. 10-Pleasing Him If He Is Angry ------------------------------ * First off, try to avoid what will guarantee his anger. * But if it happens that you can't, then try to appease him as follows: 1- If you mistaken, then apologize. 2- If he mistaken then: # Keep still instead of arguing or # Yield you right or # Wait until he is no longer angry and discuss the matter peacefully with him. 3- If he was angry because of external reasons then: # Keeping silent untill his anger goes # Find execuses for him, e.g. tired, problems at work, some oneinsulted him # Do not ask many questions and insist on knowing what happened,e.g. 1) You should tell me what happened? 2) I must know what made you so angry. 3) You are hidding something, and I have the right to know11-Guardianship While He is Absent ---------------------------------- * Protecting yourself from any prohibited relations. * Keep the secrets of the family, particularly intercourse and things that the husbands don't like other people to know. * Take care of the house and children.* Takecare of his money and properties. * Do not go out of your house without his permission and put on full hijab. * Refuse people whom he does not like to come over. * Do not allow any non-mahram man to be alone with you in any place. * Be good with his parents and relatives in his absence. 12- Showing Respect for his Family and Friends ---------------------------------------------- * You should welcome his guests and try to please them, especially his parents. * You should avoid problems as much as you can with his relatives. * You should avoid putting him is a position where he had to choose between his mother and his wife. * Show good hospitality for his guests by arranging a nice place for them to sit in, perfection of food, welcoming their wives, etc. * Encourage him to visit his relatives and invite them to your home. * Phone his parents and sisters, send letters to them, buy gifts for them, support them in calamities, etc.. 13- Admirable Jealousy ---------------------- * Jealousy is a sign for wife's love for her husband but it should be kept within the limits of Islam, e.g. not insulating or backbiting others, disrespecting them, etc.. * You should not follow or create unfounded doubts. 14-Patience and Emotional Support --------------------------------------------- * Be patient when you face poverty and strained circumstances. * When you face calamities and disasters that may happen to you, your husband, your children, relatives or properties, e.g. diseases,accidents, death, etc. * When facing hardships in Da'wah (imprisonment, getting fired, arrested, etc.), be patient and encourage him to keep on the path of Allah and remind him of paradise. * When he mistreats you, counteract his ill-treatment by good treatment 15- Support in Obedience to Allah, Da'wah and Jihad -------------------------------------------------- * Cooperate with your husband and remind him of different obligatory and voluntary worships. * Encourage him to pray at night. * Listen and reciting the Qur'an individually and with your husband. * Listen to Islamic tapes and songs individually and with your husband. * Remember Allah SWT much, particularly after Fajr and before Maghrib. * Share in arranging Da'wah activities for women and children. * Learn Islamic rules (ahkam) and good manners ('adab) for women. * Support your husband's activities by encouraging him, offering wise opinions, soothing his pains, etc. * Yielding some of your rights and a part of your time with your husband for Da'wah. * Encourage him to go for Jihad when needed and remind him that you and children will be in the preservation of Allah SWT. 16-Good Housekeeping --------------------------------------------- * Keep it clean, decorated and well arranged. * Change house arrangements from time to time to avoid boredom. * Perfect of food and prepare healthy foods. * Learn all the necessary skills for managing the house, e.g. sewing. * Learn how to raise children properly and in an Islamic way. 17-Preservation of Finances and the Family ------------------------------------------ * Do not spend from his money, even for charity without his permission unless you are sure that he agrees on this. * Protect his house, car, etc. while he is absent. * Keep the children in good shape, clean clothes, etc. Take care of their nutrition, health, education, manners, etc. Teach them Islam and tell them the stories of the Prophets and companions. Finally, please make Du'a for the writer; Sheikh Mohammad Abdelhaleem Hamed, for the translator brother Abu Talhah, and for the reviewer,brother Adam Qurashi. Remember this is not a perfect translation so forgive us our faults and correct our errors.Muslim Students' Association University of AlbertaEdmonton, CanadaFebruary, 1999
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| | Sunday, July 09, 2000 - 05:35 am Salamu calaykum I have just copyed and pasted from the web page underneat, Please feel free to visit this home page for sisters it is very use full. Since we all know about marriges that don't last life time is better to prepair your self and if you are involved in a marrige to work on it. Wasalaamu calaykum, http://www.jannah.org/sisters/index.html
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| | Monday, July 10, 2000 - 02:19 pm jazaaak allaahu khairan bro, i thank u brother for all somali ppl and muslims for this naseeexah may alaaah help us use it. and brother i would like u to copy the other book here so the brothers also will know how to make their wifes happy and live in a harmony atmosphere without any problems. agin i thank u bro from my heart. salaamu calykum all. Qurbaaawi
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| | Tuesday, July 11, 2000 - 02:56 am Salaamu calaykum Qurbaawi Waad mahadsantay walaal, Laakiin sorry, I am a girl. The other topic is also available in the same page I am glad you did enjoyed, it is always good to know what to expect from marriges etc.. Wa Salaamu calaykum
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| | Tuesday, July 11, 2000 - 09:32 am salaamu calykum , sis I am sorry ,and glad to know somali sis's like you, do exixt in this world. i am really proud of you sis and sure you make ur man happy or u will in the future.who knows he might be me lol@@@. wa salaam calykum Qurbaawi
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| | Tuesday, July 11, 2000 - 01:34 pm I am not a professor and I haven't got any big degrees but this is what I would tell any lady who wants to please her husband. No long passages and prologues, mine is simple and to the point. It is exactly the same as what Mr High Falutin Professor is using 500 pages to explain. Here goes. Are you ready ladies? No blushing: Feed him and f**k him......... Case closed.
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| | Tuesday, July 11, 2000 - 05:46 pm Helper what kind of help do U offer? . . . . I may need U in the coming future.
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| | Wednesday, July 19, 2000 - 10:28 am maxaa loo fasiri waayey halkaan buuga kale ee ah how to make your wife happy.waayo rag badan baa u baahan iney arkaan sidaan halkaan ugu yara aragnay how to make our husban happy. aad baad u mahadsantihiin waa buug loo baahnaa mar hore in la qoro.salaama calaykum.
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| | Wednesday, July 19, 2000 - 01:34 pm salaama caiakum aad iyo aad baa uu mahadsantha waana kuu naqmedoona ,waan se faafen doona
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| | Thursday, July 20, 2000 - 07:56 am •••• OFF AND GET LOST, AND NEVER BE FOUND!!!!
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| | Tuesday, July 25, 2000 - 10:14 am How to make your childern happy> first of all u have to make yo child happy b4 u do something else.
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| | Tuesday, July 25, 2000 - 12:19 pm How you make your husdabd happy Come on ppl do we have to tell you everything. Even thinks that come to natural and are inate. Somaliyeey WAAD SOO WADATAAN KULIGEENBA Why is it? could it be becouse we failed as a nation, we don't have ahome. We start to QUESTION everything that we do.To the point we dont even now HOw to relate to ppl, let a lone your spouse. SOOOMALIWAY INSECURITY ISKADAAAYA O waxwalba hakadigina politics
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| | Monday, July 31, 2000 - 05:38 am Actually, except for the never be alone with a man who's not your husband, never leave the house without his permission and wear full hijab whenever you go out there's not much you can argue about concerning this. This is half the secret to a successful marriage. Then man holding up his end is the other half.
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| | Tuesday, August 01, 2000 - 12:15 pm NO NO NO YOU ARE ALL WRONG EXCEPT THE WHAT THE QURAN AND SUNNA SAID PPL COME OH HOW YOU ALL GOING TO ACT LIKE WE WOMEN DON"T KNOW HOW TO PLZ ARE MATES plz with kind words with a face that is pleasing and FOOD on the table and the rest is history PPL it is NOT A JOB To PLZ THE ONE YOU LOVE IT SHOULD BE somr thing you enjoy doing MARRIGE IS NOT A JOB< YOU ARE AFFRAID YOU ARE BEEN EVALUTED AND IF YOU FAIL THE TEST YOU ARE ASS IS OUT YOu should LOVE YOUR SPOUSE IF YOU LOVEHE?SHE THEN YOU WILL FIND PLZ HE?HIM WOULD BE SOMETHING THAT MAKES YOU HAPPLY enough LESSONS FOR THOSE TIGHT ONE YOU ARE TOOOO AFRAIND TO TAKE A CHANCE IN LIFE YOU ONLY LIFE ONCE DO "T BEE AFRAID OF MARRAGE LIVE A LITTLE PPL AND ENJOY AONE ANOTHER THINK ABOUT IT IT IS GODS ORDRS SO DO IT JUSt do it dont try to over beat the topic then it will stress you REMINDER THOSE WHO HAVE LOVE IN THEM CAN ONLY SHARE IT IF YOU DID NOT HAVE IT IN YOU BEFORE YOU GOT MARRIED DONT EXPECT LOVE WOULD COME RUNING AT YA
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| | Tuesday, August 01, 2000 - 05:24 pm ooch im scared.
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| | Tuesday, August 01, 2000 - 10:15 pm Anonymous MAD MAC Here I have to say I disagree. Marriage is work. It takes two parties working together to make it work in the long run. Like any other kind of work, there are rewards for the investment. I love coming home from a hard days work and my woman has a hot meal ready, a smile and a kiss for me. You feel like she's happy to see you. And once or twice a week I bring her home some flower or a little gift. You have to make a little effort to maintain a relationship and keep your partner happy and there are a lot of good tips in this write up.
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| | Wednesday, August 02, 2000 - 02:03 pm TO Ananymous Tuesday, August 01, 2000 - 05:15 pm IS THAT YOU SUMAYA? ENGLISH 101
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| | Thursday, August 17, 2000 - 10:46 am i love what you wrote helper. May allah bless you for sharing this info. with us.
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