     Hanita | Thursday, November 16, 2000 - 02:27 pm
-MATHS OF LIFE-
Scary but true.
Smart man + Smart woman= Romance
Smart man + Dumb woman= pregnancy
Dumb man + Smart woman= Affair
Dumb man + Dumb woman= Marriage
Smart boss + Smart employee= Profit
Smart boss + Dumb employee= Production
Dumb boss + Smart employee= Promotion
Dumb boss + Dumb employee= Overtime
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need.
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
A successful man is one who makes more money that his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and try not to understand her at all.
Married man live longer than single men, but married men are a lot more willing to die.
Any married men should forget his mistakes, there's no use in two people remembering the same thing.
Men wake up so good-looking as they went to bed.
women somehow deteriorate during the night.
A women marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A men marries a woman expecting that she not change, but she does.
-Signs that you are too drunk-
You loose arguments with an animate object.
You have to hold onto the lawn to keep from falling off the earth.
Job interfering with your drinking.
Your doctor finds traces of blood in your alchohol stream.
The back of your head keeps getting hit by the toilet seat.
Sincerly believe that alchohol is the elusive 5th group.
24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case, coincidence? I THINK NOT!
You can focus better with one eye.
Every night you're roommate's cat looks more and more attractive.
Don't recognize your wife/girlfriend unless seen through bottom of glass.
You wake-up screaming TORO, TORO, TORO!!!!! in the middle of the night.
That damned pink elephant followed you home again.
You wake up in the bedroom, your underwear is in the bathroom, you fell asleep clothed.hmmmmmmmmmmm
You think the FOUR BASIC FOOD GROUPS are caffine, nicotine, alchohol, and (women, or men).
Roseanne looks good to you.
Your idea of cutting back is less salt.
Hey, 5 beers has just as many calories as a burger, screw dinner!!!!!!!
The whole bar says "HI" when you walk in.
lool. tell me what you think.: |
