     Qalanjo | Unrecorded Date
THE LITTLE OLD LADY AND THE BET
A little old lady went into the Bank of Canada one day, carrying
a bag of money. She insisted that she must speak with the president of the
bank to open a savings account because, "It's a lot of money!" After much hemming and hawing, the bank staff finally ushered her into the president's office (the customer is always right!).The bank president then asked her how much she would like to deposit. She
replied, "$165,000!"and dumped the cash out of her bag onto his desk. The president was of course curious as to how she came by all this cash, so he asked her, "Ma'am, I'm surprised you're carrying so>much cash around. Where did you get this money?" The old lady replied, "I make bets." The president then asked, "Bets? What kind of bets?" The old woman said, "Well, for example, I'll bet you $25,000 that your balls are square." "Ha!" laughed the president, "That's a stupid bet. You can never win that kind of bet!" The old lady challenged, "So, would you like to take my bet?"
>> "Sure," said the president, "I'll bet $25,000 that my balls are>not square!"
>> The little old lady then said, "Okay, but since there is a lot of money involved, may I bring my lawyer with me tomorrow at 10:00
am as a witness?"
"Sure!" replied the confident president.
That night, the president got very nervous about the bet and spent along time in front of a mirror checking his balls, turning from>side
to side, again and again. He thoroughly checked them out until he was sure that there was absolutely no way his balls were
square and that he would win the bet. The next morning, at precisely 10:00 am, the little old lady appeared with her lawyer at the president's office. She introduced the lawyer to the president and repeated the bet: "$25,000 says the president's balls are square!"
The president agreed with the bet again and the old lady asked him to drop his pants so they could all see. The president complied. The little old lady peered closely at his balls and then asked if she could feel them. "Well, Okay," said>the president, "$25,000 is a lot of money, so I guess you should be absolutely sure."
>> Just then, he noticed that the lawyer was quietly banging his head against the wall.
>> The president asked the old lady, "What the hell's is the matter with your lawyer?"
>> She replied, "Nothing, except I bet him $100,000 that at 10:00 am
>> today, I'd have The Bank of Canada's president's balls in my>hand."
have fun! Wont you!!!!!!
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
| Duulane | Unrecorded Date
To Qalanjo
Ah ah that was very funny. So it means, the old lady made a profit of $75,000 on the spot. Very funny but i was not expecting that Qalanjo will tell like this joke, because of the ethics involve.Never Mind it was a good one!!!
bye Duulane |
| qalanjo | Unrecorded Date
To Duulane
Do we know each other??????? if the answer is yes then could you refresh my memory...
Qalango |
| Anon | Unrecorded Date
lol Qalanjo, this one is even funnier than the first one. |
| Duulane | Unrecorded Date
To: Qalanjo
Naaaaaaaaa we don't know each other sister. But my aim was to create an new joke and Anon got it right. So take it easy.
Duulane |
| Qalanjo | Unrecorded Date
To: Duulane...
Sorry brother |
| karma | Unrecorded Date
Lol!!! Qalanjo, Dulane waa ku harowsaday!!! |
| caro | Unrecorded Date
Qanlanjo that was the best joke i have ever seen on this net so keep the good job sis. |
| Madar | Unrecorded Date
Hi Qalanjo,
Your story is really funny,and you made laugh; thankx SIS. |
| Anonymous | Unrecorded Date
Aslaamu alaykum
hi qalanjo,
hahahahahahahaahh lol thats the funnest story i have seen it so far in the net too, MAYBE DUULANE U DON'T GET THE JOKE BRO NEXT JUST LAUGH IAGHT!!!
KEEP UP SIS TAKE CARE. |
| ahmed qaawane | Unrecorded Date
doqoniimada la fadhiista |
| faarax iimaaan | Unrecorded Date
wax dhaama miyaad waydeen |
| dhaqan ilaaliye | Unrecorded Date
dhaqankii laga tag meel lagu socdana la garan maayo sorry please just look at what kind of joke you guys have on the net.....we are nation of poets... we can get better and benefitable ones... |
| wardere | Unrecorded Date
Dhaqanka xumi waa Diinlaan
Qiso dhab ah oo dhacday balkusoo dhawoow
Magaalo kutaal NorthAmerica ayaa Nin shiikh soomaaliyeed ah ku aqrinayay kitaab siiradii nabiga ah waxaa halkaa dhaqaysanayay nin oday soomaliyeed ah kana sooqaybgalay dagaaladii sokeeye ee kadhacay dalka.shiikh ayaa soogaaray geeridii ninkii la oran jiray Abu jahal markii ladilay ayuu ninkii odayga ahaa inta salka jafjaftay yiri wuxuu doonaba ha ahaadee halkaas nin ayaa ku dhintay aadna waa uuga xumaaday su,aal lawydiiyay ayaa ahayd maxaad uga xumaatay wuxuu kujawaabay ninkii asxaaba la dagaalamay nin caadi ah ma uusan ahayn Haaa Haaa |
| Saleh | Unrecorded Date
To Qalanjo
Funny one...... lol
Here is my contribution.
These are brutal, funny, and kinda true!! :-) Hope every one enjoys.
Subject: What's your sign?
1) MARKETING
You are ambitious yet stupid. You chose a marketing degree to avoid having to
study in college, concentrating instead on drinking and socializing which is pretty much what your job responsibilities are now.
Least compatible with Sales.
2) SALES
Laziest of all signs, often referred to as "marketing without a degree." You
are also self centered and paranoid. Unless someone calls you and begs you to take
their money, you like to avoid contact with customers so you can "concentrate on
the big picture." You seek admiration for your golf game throughout your life.
3) TECHNOLOGY
Unable to control anything in your personal life, you are instead content to completely control everything that happens at your workplace. Often even YOU don't understand what you are saying but who the hell can tell. It is written that Geeks shall inherit the Earth.
4) ENGINEERING
One of only two signs that actually studied in school. It is said that ninety percent of all Personal Ads are placed by engineers. You can be happy with yourself; your office is full of all the latest "ergodynamic" gadgets. However,
we all know what is really causing >your "carpal tunnel syndrome."
5) ACCOUNTING
The only other sign that studied in school. You are mostly immune from office politics. You are the most feared person in the organization; combined with your extreme organizational traits, the majority of rumors concerning you say
that you are completely insane.
6) HUMAN RESOURCES
Ironically, given your access to confidential information, you tend to be the biggest gossip within the organization. Possibly the only other person that does less work than marketing, you are unable to return any calls today because
you have to get a haircut, have lunch AND then mail a letter.
7) MANAGEMENT/MIDDLE MANAGEMENT
Catty, cut-throat, yet completely spineless, you are destined to remain at your current job for the rest of your life. Unable to make a single decision you tend to measure your worth by the number of meetings you can schedule for yourself. Best suited to marry other "Middle Managers" as everyone in you social circle is a "Middle Manager."
8) SENIOR MANAGEMENT (See above - Same sign, different title)
9) CUSTOMER SERVICE
Bright, cheery, positive, you are a fifty-cent cab ride from taking your own life. As children very few of you asked your parents for a little cubicle for your room and a headset so you could pretend to play "Customer Service." Continually passed over for promotions, your best bet is to sleep with your manager.
10) CONSULTANT
Lacking any specific knowledge, you use acronyms to avoid revealing your utter lack of experience. You have convinced yourself that your "skills" are in demand and that you could get a higher paying job with any other organization in
a heartbeat. You will spend an eternity contemplating these career opportunities
without ever taking direct action.
11) RECRUITER, "HEADHUNTER"
As a "person" that profits from the success of others, you are disdained by most people who actually work for a living. Paid on commission and susceptible to alcoholism, your ulcers and frequent heart attacks correspond directly with
fluctuations in the stock market.
12) PARTNER, PRESIDENT, CEO
You are brilliant or lucky. Your inability to figure out complex systems such as the fax machine suggest the latter.
13) GOVERNMENT WORKER
Paid to take days off. Government workers are genius inventors, like the invention of new Holidays. They usually suffer from deep depression or anxiety and usually commit serious crimes while on the job...Thus the term "GO POSTAL" |
| 2000 | Unrecorded Date
Dam that was funny as hell Qalanjo!
We wanna hear more jocks like that next time aight.... never mind the other cats.....
keep it cool sis. |
| Saleh | Unrecorded Date
To Ahmed Qaawani
The empror has no cloth :- lol
If you cannot stand the heat then may be
you should get out of the kitchen.....
lighten up brother.... it is just a joke... |
| Saleh | Unrecorded Date
To Dhaqan Ilaaliye
You want a poem brother... Here it is.. Hope
u like it...Author is not known:
As I crawl into my sack,
I pray for women who aren't wack,
A sistah who knows how to act,
who won't neglect, and will call back
A girl who's smart, and sweet and stacked,
and who knows when to shut her trap,
Who won't act ill and disrespect,
or run her mouth and sweat my check,
who will not ask me if she's fat,
In this red dress or these brown slacks,
I pray for one who is well-bred,
I cannot deal with chicken-heads,
I need a love of give and take,
Not "what you drive?", "How much you make?",
When lunch and diner bills approah,
If you don't reach...don't ask for Coach,
I want a dime with thighs and lips,
not nickel broads on ego trips,
I want one who loves me for me,
not what her girls think I should be,
To fill my life with joy non-stop,
with no male friends to take my spot
I need one for cuddles, light kisses, and pecks,
but she'd know that some times...I just wanna have sex,
If I were to find her this very day,
then I would cease in my doggish ways,
there'd be no more creeping, I'd sing songs like Joe's.
But until that day comes, I have no love for you |
| love ladan. | Unrecorded Date
sweety that was a good joke really but next time u and duule or duaale what ever , i have to tell u thing there is a chat line u know but keep the good work. love ladan . |
| Qalanjo | Unrecorded Date
To: All
The following is funny story,, but not as funny as the one before,,So I hope you will like it....
A lady approaches her priest and tells him, "Father, I have a problem. I have two female talking parrots, but they only know how to say one thing."
"What do they say?" the priest inquired.
"They only know how to say, 'Hi, we're prostitutes. Want to have some fun?'"
"That's terrible!" the priest exclaimed, "but I have a solution to your problem. Bring your two female parrots over to my house and I will put them with my two male talking parrots whom
I taught to pray and read the bible. My parrots will teach your parrots to stop saying that terrible phrase and your female parrots will learn to praise and worship."
"Thank you!" the woman responded.
The next day the woman brings her female parrots to the priest's house.
His two male parrots are holding rosary beads and praying in their cage.
The lady puts her two female parrots in with the male parrots.
Immediately, the female parrots say, "Hi, we're prostitutes, want to have some fun?"
One male parrot looks over at the other male parrot and exclaims, "Put the beads away. Our prayers have been answered!"
Have Fun wont you!!!!!
Qalanjo |
| Muna | Unrecorded Date
that was really funny sis. You made me laugh for real. keep it up. Give us more jokes sis.
take care
MUNA |
| xsquared | Unrecorded Date
qalanjo,
hey that was really funny but next time please do the math correctly. $100,000-25,000=75,000.
keep up the laughs and correct the numbers.
-mathematics |
| Anonymous | Unrecorded Date
Yo, this joke is funnyyyyyy. But I'm wandering how this girl came up with this carzy joke!!!!! Yo man, let me know your trick!!!!!lol
peace out
Nafta |
| Anonymous | Unrecorded Date
i thought that, that was very sick i'm actually wandering how you came up with a joke like that |
| Alex | Unrecorded Date
Alex
This is the funniest story that I have read on the net,,, LOL qalanjo.. give us more jokes,,
Don't mind the ignorants they probably have no sense of humor..Boring type..
Alex |
| traditonal | Unrecorded Date
saleh,
good joke, nice one where is the one
for the ladies, what the ladies look for
in man. i think i know you
aka traditional |
| Madeey | Unrecorded Date
Qalanjo,
This One(Parrots) is even better than the first one. I do not remember the complete joke but there was somali joke like this. It was about wadaad who freeks out when he got a chance. |
| Madeyo | Unrecorded Date
To: All
I am not sure if this will work. but let me know
I lived at 24 story building, you can say one of these project houses. One day there were this Somali guy and couple of Americans in the elevator with me. One of the American guy asked the Somali guy to press 23rd floor for him and Somali guy pressed 2 and 3 literally, I mean second floor followed by third floor instead of 23rd. I guess he get used to calculators and assumed this will work. Beleive me it was funny when it happened!! |
| Madeyo | Unrecorded Date
To:ALL
There was a plane from N.Y. to Bahamas. On the plane was Cindy Crawford and 30 other passengers the plane crashed in a deserted island, Cindy and one guy survived. There was no one not even wild life in the island. The guy who had fantasies with Cindy convinced her since they will never get out of there they might live as a couple to survive.
After few weeks Cindy fall in love with guy and tell her even if they go back she will keep him. A month passed by then the guy asked her a favor. He asked her to wear a fake moustache, fake beard and and his clothes and walk like man in front of him so that she can remind him his friend John. When she did he hugged her and he said "Hey John you know what happened man, I am the luckiest guy on earth I have been sleeping Cindy Crawford for a month. To her surprise she asked him why he did that. He said Sex with Cindy is good but bragging about it is even better.
I hope you can relate to it. Especially guys I think you know what I mean those teenage experience! HA HA HA. Ladies No offence |
| maxamed | Unrecorded Date
ha ha ha ha ha veruy funny !!!!!!!! |
| Anonymous | Unrecorded Date
This is a true story,
Three black guys got into an elevator in a Les Vegas hotel, they found an old white lady inside, one of the black guys told the lady who was standing close to the elevator control panel to "hit the floor" the old lady went down on the floor and started yelling,,please take my money dont hurt me, the black guys just laughed their hearts out, and walked aweay when they got to the ground floor. Couple of days later the old lady and her husband who were there on a Honeymoon went to check out, when they asked for their bill the guy at the front counter told them,, Mum your bill has been taken care of and here is a note for you,,she opened the envelope and read the note,,,it said,,
Thanks for the laugh,,
signed, Eddie Murphy !! |
| faiza moalim | Unrecorded Date
those jokes were so funny i'll be sure to check them out everyday. keep the good jokes rolling in.
faiza m. |
| AMINA | Unrecorded Date
BORINGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG
QALONJO'S JOKES R FUNNY ONLYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
OTHERS PUT ME INTO SLEEPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP
LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL
SEE YA
AMINA |
| Anonymous | Unrecorded Date
I have to say that despite the fact that there were some funny jokes from Qalanjo, nontheless, you people are idiots. Next time you try to tell a joke, please try to make it ORIGINAL, rather than just copying it from the internet - Right Saleh? |
| Afgooye | Unrecorded Date
Saleh I got a feeling there is hidden agenda for you being nice to QALANJO
Do you fancy her
DO not slag the rest just tell her you wanna her body
Alright |
| Blacknies | Unrecorded Date
dad kiinaan dhibaatey kali ah baad ka shaqeeysaan hadiinaan adinku wax lasheego aqoonin dhaafa inantu ha ina maaweelisee |
| SAHAL | Unrecorded Date
NIN SCOTTISH IYO NIN ENGLISH IYO NIN HINDI AH BAA DIYAARAD ISLA SOO WADA RAACAY, MARKAY MEEL DHEXE MARAYEEN AYEY DIYARADII XUMATAY MARKAASU PILOT KEE KU YIRI WAR DIYAARADO WAY CULUSTAHAYE WAX AAN LOO BAAHNANNE OO DHAN TUURA, MAARKAASU NINKEE SCOTISH KA AHAA BAA TUURAY WIXII SIGAAR IYO ALKOHOL AYAA OO YIRI WADAN KAYGA BAY KA BUUXAAN, NINKEE HINDIGA AHAA AYAA FILMAAN BADAN IYO DHAR U SITAY IS NA TUURAY OO YIRI WADAN KAYGA BAY KA BUXAAN, NINKEE IGRIISKA AHAA AYAA MARKAA NINKA HINDIGA AH INTOO SOO QABTAY AYUU DIYAREEDII KA TUURAY OO YIRI HINDIGOO WADAN KAYGA BOO KA BUXAA@ |
| XASAN | Unrecorded Date
SAHAL BRO THAT WAS FUNNY YOU ARE IN UK RIGHT BRO KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK |
| afgooye | Unrecorded Date
Iwould have thrown out Hassan cos there are lot of hassans in somalia.
LOL |
| smoalim | Unrecorded Date
faiza moalim nayaa maxaa warkaa loo wayay
mail me or even call
your dear sister
s.moalim |
| lamayaqaanoos | Unrecorded Date
naag ayaa wadaad u timid, markaasay tiri wadaad maanta denbi weyn ayaan galay. markaasuu yiri waamaxay denbigaas.markaasay tiri nin baan maanta ku iri ibnul kalb, waayo gacanta ayuu i qabtay.markaasuu wadaadkii inta gacanta qabtay yiri ma sidaas- waxaasu wax dadka lagu caayo ma aha.markaasay tiri wadaad naaskuu i qabtay. markaasuu inta naaska qabtay yir ma sidaas-waxaasu wax dadka lagu caayo ma aha.markaasay tiri wadaad wixiisuu galiyey ma taqaanaa waxayga(micnaha wuu i fuulay)markaasuu intuu waxiisa galiyey ma taqaanaa waxeeda(micnaha fuulay)ayuu yiri waxaasu ma aha wax dadka lagu caayo. markaasay tiri wadaad markuu iga dhamaystay ayuu ii sheegay in uu (AIDS)qabo.markaasuu wadaadkii yiri ibnu kalb ibnu kalb dhalay. |
| lamayaqaanoos | Unrecorded Date
Nin hindi ah ayaa africa macalinnimo loogu diray.markuu africa tegey ayaa naagtiisii nin madow baratay. bilo ka dib naagtii ilmo madow ah ayey dhashay.hindigii cadho wuxuu sameeyo intuu garan waayey ayuu subaxii danbe cadhadii ardadii kula dhacay asgoo si degen wax ugu sheegaya ardayda.--wuxuuna yiri(in india you grow tomato you get tomato but in africa you grow tomato u get botato)micnuhuna waa ilmihii hindiga ahaa ayaa africaan isu bedeley.(put a smile on your face. |
| lamayaqaanoos | Unrecorded Date
I just broke up with my girl and the last thing she said to me was,`you'll never find anyone like me again`I'am thinking i should hope not!If i don't want you why would i want someone like you?
((don't you try telling this joke to your girl)) |
| lamayaqaanoos | Unrecorded Date
naag ayaa si xun u fadhiisatay ayadoon hoosta wax ka qabin.markaasaa wiilkeedii yaraa bahalkeedii arkay.!hooyo-hooyo waamaxay waxaas!ayuu yarkii yiri.!war naga aamus waa af ee!ayey tiri.!hooyo hooyo haduu af yahay ilkihiisii aawaye!ayuu yarkii yiri.!dee aabahaa baa suu budh ula dhacayey ilkihii ka riday!ayey tiri
THE END |
| lamayaqaanad | Unrecorded Date
lama yaqaanoos waa qosley markii aan akhirsatay gabarta wadaadka u tagtay wasakh |
| afgooye | Unrecorded Date
Lamayaqaanoos ay like your jokes with the exception inanka yar iyo hooyadiis.
I don't mind hearing dirty jokes. but that was ditestful.
keepup myfriend.
did you hear mine check title aaaaaa ila qosol it is very dirty and tell me what u think.
ahmed |
| chairman_of_Wolfpack | Sunday, July 16, 2000 - 01:03 pm
Simply genius
well done
keep up the good job |
