Let Me Address THis Issue Once and For All!

[kambuli]

Somali Men and Women who is at fault?

There is no doubt that there are Somali girls or women sometimes who are strayed from the right path when it comes to a proper way of maintaining a healthy marriage..
Those are the kind of chicks that have the following characteristics or behaviors;

1. They neglect their family.
2. They don't care about the financial situation of her family. Like buying Diric for every aroos..That kind of mentality..
3. She cares more about the outsiders than her family.
4. She clubs or do shiisha a lot.
5. She argues alot..Nags alot.
6. Not realistic at all.
7. Maybe! Maybe can talk to other men even though she is married...
8. And then we have mothers who even chew kat... etc etc

But that kind of women and girls are around 30% of the women population.

Let us look at men;

1. Most of them chew kat..That means drain..the family resources.
2. 90% of Somali men don't help their wives with the kids or the household work.
This is the worst problem in the West..When the man is the only bread winner of the family it is ok and logic to expect the wife to take care of the house chores, but when she works just like the man and in addition she gets pregnant, why would a man want her to do all the household, chidren chores and be a bread winner can't he understand that she is a human being just like him?
In addition to all this toil he demands to have a waiting wife in the bedroom.

3. 70% of Somali men when they come from work, they don't stay home with their family but they go straight to Mefrish or starbucks

4. 70% of Somalimen don't involve themselves in the upbringings of their children...that is why we sometimes hear a guy saying to his wife, "Naa goormuu socday ilmaheenii" btw this is a true story that I have heard from a women who was complaining about her husband.

5. They don't involove in the schooling of their children neither in their activities like sports etc

6. 80% of Somali men do Zinna...Not only they do but they brag about it.

7. Nowdays some started to marry more than one...

8. Some of them ask their wives to live on welfare even though they are able men.


Based on all these, which one is at fault... 8)

[xaajimacwis]

are u married?

[Nivea_x]

Both

thats why i say stick to your other african brothers and sisters

[Gifted]

Generally speaking both are equally guilty, however, each relationship is different. It could be either person.

[Abdi_westldn]

The women are at fault for their own mistakes and we for our own but what does that have to do with anything?

[Nivea_x]

as if a stupid speach which we are all aware of
is going to change our people

just admit it WE ARE ALL WASTE

say it loud and proud



truth hurts?

[PINK_BUNNY]

Most of the fault lies wid the parents of those individuals. If parents take on their responsibility n raise their kids wid strong morals n a good sense of deen their wouldn't be so many problems. Placin a kitab on the shelf isn't enough.

[The-Screw]

Whoa!, Whoa!, Whoa!, Whoa!, Whoa!,










Whoa!,

[MJ-Pride]

Kambule is extremely bias. Where did get these 80% bullshid? Did you make a survey?

[zulaika]

kam,

huuno, don't throw stats around without corresponding sources. 30% this, and 70% that...its utter hearsay dear.

[Nabeela]

80% eh? wow..

Both waa equally guilty walaal.

[Aliyah99]

I don't recognise any somali men and women from my family and circle and friends from those descriptions. What low class social circles somalis on this site come from ileen most somalis are low class I thought the majority were conservative like my own family (even divorce is still a taboo)

[Nivea_x]

^ ofcourse, and u ended up on this website

[kambuli]

Folks come on dee...Let us be honest...This is very crucial wallaahay...How can we correct those that are at fault? I mean as a society..We know each family is different..But in general we know that so many Somali families are falling apart...Let us point the finger where the fault is...

[Cawar]

Kambuli

Based on what you wrote here..you are extremely biased. 70%, 90%, 80% of men?? and maybe ..just maybe..30% of women might be wrong doers??

C'mmon mother Teresa be just a litlle bit fairer.

I dont mind putting a good share of the blame on Men..but 90%??


Somalis in the west are traumatized by the events that took place(and still ongoing) back home, most of us have no childhood memories or we cant go back to our homes, never mind those who remember nothing of Somalia.
The psychological trauma somalis suffered is big..just that most of us dont make a big issue out of it..and/or dont even realize..so its quite logic that many thing(un-usual things) take place..such high divorce rate,etc.

I think this is another issue for another topic, but I hope some of you could just stop the blame game..and look deeply at the whole picture.