CHRISTIAN PSYCHOLOGIST: FATHERS SHOULD BE OUTRAGED...!!!!

[Daanyeer]

Christian Psychologist: Fathers Should be Outraged by Christians ‘Blaming’ Dads for Homosexuality
Source: mensdaily
By Glenn Sacks, MA for Fathers & Families | May 29, 2009


Warren Throckmorton, PhD, a psychology professor at Grove City College, a top-ranked Christian college, sent me an interesting letter the other day. Dr. Throckmorton had followed my conflict in April with anti-gay activist, Peter LaBarbera, president of Americans For Truth about Homosexuality. Dr. Throckmorton writes:

Glenn--Have you ever covered the damage to father-son relationships done by the reparative theories? Fatherhood groups should be the most outraged by stuff like this. Of course fathering is crucial to a child's development, but there is no evidence that a break like this can cause homosexuality. Father-blaming is prevalent and this theory has its share of responsibility for that, at least in Christian circles.
Dr. Throckmorton refers me to his recent article in the Christian Post--Fathers, Sons and Homosexuality (5/14/09). Dr. Throckmorton writes:

The causes of homosexuality continue to both fascinate and divide people. Recently, in London, a conservative group of Anglicans, called the Anglican Mainstream hosted a conference to discuss the causes of homosexuality and promote change from gay to straight.

Featured at the conference was American psychologist, Joseph Nicolosi. Dr. Nicolosi stirred much controversy when he said, without research support, that most of his clients show some degree of change in their sexual orientation.

Nicolosi's views regarding causes of homosexuality are also controversial. In response to a question about the existence of a gay gene, Nicolosi said:

In other words, that fact remains that if you traumatize a child in a particular way you will create a homosexual condition. If you do not traumatize a child, he will be heterosexual. If you do not traumatize a child in a particular way, he will be heterosexual. The nature of that trauma is an early attachment break during the bonding phase with the father.
In a popular book written with his wife, A Parent's Guide to Preventing Homosexuality, Nicolosi pegs the "crucial period" for bonding between father and son at "between one and a half to three years." Elsewhere, Nicolosi argues that fathers of homosexual sons are unavailable, detached and/or hostile. To fathers in London, he advised, "If you don't hug your sons, some other man will," suggesting that male homosexual attraction is a search for a father's love.

The father-deficit theory is considered outdated by mainstream sexuality researchers, but is popular among conservative Christians. This evangelical acceptance has always puzzled me because Nicolosi's statements regarding the origins of homosexuality can be discounted not only by research but by common experience.

His theory is contradicted in at least two ways. The first way should be quite obvious to Nicolosi's audiences: there are many men who experienced poor fathering not only during the first six years of life but throughout childhood and are nonetheless, exclusively heterosexual.

Since many in Nicolosi's audiences are either unhappy with their homosexual attractions or do not know many secure gay people, the second problem might not be so clear. In contrast to Nicolosi's depictions of the typical family of gay males, many such men experienced loving, close relationships with their fathers throughout childhood with no break in attachment. Listen to one such father who spoke to me recently about his gay son.

When my son was 18 months to 3 years old (and on into childhood), we enjoyed a wonderfully close relationship. We explored the world behind the YMCA and called it traveling, looking for creatures in nooks and crannies.

When it would snow, we bundled up and follow the same path. We hunted for snakes together in the creek, built a swamp world for various amphibians and generally loved each others' company. Wherever I was, there was my son; as my wife would say, we were like "Peel and Stick."

As he got older our relationship changed, but in a way that it should change. It matured into a friendship as father and son. After our son came out to us, our relationship did not change.
Does this sound like an uninvolved, detached father? This man's son concurs with his dad's assessment of the relationship. They were and are close, with no breaks during the period Nicolosi theorizes should cause homosexuality.

Devout Christians, the family attended conferences put on by conservative Christians who believed parental deficits were responsible for homosexuality. The answers they heard were very much like what Dr. Nicolosi promotes. These parents also took their son to a reparative therapist (i.e., counselor who holds to Nicolosi's theory) who evaluated the potential for sexual orientation change. The father reported that it wasn't helpful...
Read the full article here. And kudos to the father quoted above for standing up for himself and his parenting, as opposed to meekly accepting "blame" for his son's homosexuality. How many loving, devoted fathers have had their parenting unjustly maligned by these asinine theories?

I don't see anything wrong with homosexuality, so I don't speak in terms of "blame" for it, but just for argument's sake, let's say that parenting is to "blame" for homosexuality? Was there any doubt that it would be the father's parenting, not the mother's, which would be to "blame"?