Ladies Under What Circumstance

[xoogSADE14]

Would you be cool with your husband marrying a second wife?

[BlackVelvet]

If I was dead.

[SultanOrder]

Honestly do we need second wives, I think muslim men instead of having a mistress they get second wives . Dude hopefully you will marry someone you love and they love you more, so don't let misplaced desire drive you crazy.

[DisplacedDiraac]

When the children leave home..
Than we go our separate ways

[xoogSADE14]

BY

Short and a to the point. Better be ready to fulfill your future husband's every need. What if your husband wants more kids than you intend to have?

Westldn

Are you saying that because thats what your feminist foreign friends would? Or is that what you really believe?

PO

This question wasn't for me nephew, just gauging how the next generation of Somali women think.

[Mad May]

.

[HELWAA]

Would you be cool with your husband marrying a second wife?

It depends on why is he marrying onther:

Have i neglected my duties in bed?
Do we hate eachother and lost all respect we had?
Is he not attracted to me anymore?
Does he think his 2 minut action will improve by touching a young meat?

If the answer is yes to all those questions well he can hand me over my divorce papers.

[Firefly]

The way I see it if he fulfills his duty towards me and his offspring, and he believes he can maintain that and has the financial means to do so and provided he is upfront about it from the beginning, how can I then deny him his rights?

[BlackVelvet]

BY

Short and a to the point. Better be ready to fulfill your future husband's every need. What if your husband wants more kids than you intend to have?

.

I intend to do that.

What if she wants more kids than him? Should she go to a sperm bank or get a second husband? People who don't want roughly the same number of kids shouldn't get married in the first place. It would have made more sense if you would have asked, "what if you found out you can't have any kids?" Even then depends on how masochistic the woman is, watching your husband have kids with another woman because you are incapable ... I used to think I could do that lakin I'd actually rather eat a rat once a week

[gedo_gurl]

No woman is ever happy with it, why dont men get this by now? Polygyny is never a nice thing for a woman to experience. Imagine if by the will of Allah something happened to you and you were unable to have kids or something, and then your wife...behind your back...finds another man to replace you who can provide that for her...then just announces it to you...now imagine that she was allowed to marry this man....and you would be the lame sitting duck husband while he screws her and gives her babies, leaving you half the week if you are lucky, and then tells you that you should be grateful for what leftovers he leaves behind. Yeah, so much f-king fun.

[xoogSADE14]

The way I see it if he fulfills his duty towards me and his offspring, and he believes he can maintain that and has the financial means to do so and provided he is upfront about it from the beginning, how can I then deny him his rights?

Masha'Allah ukhti

Helwa

Your sex life and everything else is just fine but he would like to marry a second wife as the religion permits it and he can financially afford to provide for you and her. What would you say?

GG

Your hypothetical is too much of a stretch walaal. My question deals with things that happen many Muslim households daily. While yours is against our religion. I take it under no circumstance would you allow your husband to keep you and marry another woman?

Mad May

Put your feminist lenses aside for a sec and think as a Somali Muslim woman.

[SultanOrder]

I think a man who is truly after the pleasure of Allah, and wishes to fulfill the sunnah. If that man truly wants to marry he should not do it because of raaxo or some other reason other than to seek the pleasure of Allah. He should not be so inclined to marry a young virgin girl because of that, but I think more men should marry the single mothers of our community. What is better than to be a protector to someone who didn't have a protector and she has kids, what is better than to be a father to kids who's fathers are absent, what is more pleasurable to be with a woman who truly appreciates you and sees what life is like. So to the men I would say go out and marry garoobs as your second wives and leave the unwed girls to the single men.

This is in more line with the sunnah of the rasul scw and asaxaaba ra who mostly married widowed women, and the rasul scw only married one virgin women Aisha ra and the others were widows or divorcees.

[gedo_gurl]

Xoogsade...I think you missed the point completely. I asked you to imagine that scenario so that you can feel some empathy, I wasnt advocating for polyandry.

And dont think I havent noticed your 'if you disagree you are the dreaded western feminazi' and if you agree you are my 'ukhti' (when did people switch from walaal and abaayo to ukhti??)...just admit it, you dont want to hear any opposition, go and marry whoever it was you had your eye on, you dont need our permission or approval, otherwise you would be asking your wife.

[xoogSADE14]

lool@ GG

When did this become about me ukhti? I was just a asking a question to see where the young women who grew up in the west stood on this issue. To get back to your point, theres nothing for me to be empathetic towards. Muslim women have it good when it comes to the deen, its easy for you guys to attain Jannah and if you allowing to share your husband with another in order to make sure he doesn't commit zinna/ bring back diseases is what you have to do then I say its a win win.

PO

You're starting to worry me man, marry single mothers and raise another man's children because he chose not to? I agree with ones whose husbands passed away but picking up the slack for deadbeat dads? Are you serious?

[SultanOrder]

Xoogsade calling gedo gurl's hypothetical too much look at your own, a man has either the choice to marry a second woman or commit zina and bring back disease. Do you think a man who can not even contain himself that much should take upon himself the responsibility of another woman? Unless that other woman is nothing more than a mistress, won't she also want kids and etc? Remember when it became permissble to marry more than one wife and it was a time when the men were little and the woman had no protectors and providers. The men married because it was ibaada nothing out of sexual desire, one woman is more than enough to fulfill a righteous man.

The reason I advocate marrying a garoob and or single mother because it is damaging to our community. These are real people, and if they are believing woman who are pious it is the muslim men's responsibility to take care of them. These children that are fatherless for whatever reason, are still in need of them, they are the next generation, they will have an affect on your children on how society will turn out. Polgymay is a social safety net that protects the muslims from haraam and illegal sex and other social woes, not as a fulfillment of multiple woman for mens enjoyment. If more men thought like this how many would get divorced unless it was crucial? So we have to take this issue very serious.

No woman is ever happy when this happens, and they are human beings who will have emotions, just like the wives of the rasul scw the best of woman and they still felt jealousy and other feelings. So I don't believe there is going to be a day when our believing woman will be happy with this, but rather accept it if a true righteous reason arises. But if you are going to do it do it for the right reasons inshallah.