OTTAWA — An abusive Ottawa father who ruled his home’s finances with a frugality so extreme that he deprived his family of heat, lights, water and sometimes food, has been convicted in a rare criminal harassment and assault case.The recently convicted man, who moved from Yemen to Ottawa in 1987 to study computer science, would whip his children with a leather belt if they didn’t follow what he called “sensible practices” — a bizarre set of “micro-managing” house rules that tormented his wife for 24 years, and his children for 18.
A recent court ruling lays out the facts of the case, and details the lengths the man went to to save money.Court was told his wife feared for her life, and that the children had to sneak showers when their abusive father wasn’t home. Their 52-year-old father would only allow each child to use two litres of water, measured by a container in the shower. One litre for washing, one litre for rinsing.
He was so cheap his family testified he’d replace the few light bulbs they had with 40-watt bulbs to keep the hydro bill down. But he wouldn’t budge on the heat. They stopped asking him for permission to turn up the heat years ago. He’d tell them to layer up. “We froze in the dark,” his wife testified at an Ontario Superior Court trial presided by Justice Charles Hackland.
Though his children ranged in age from 12 to 22, they all had the same bedtime. It was always lights out right after supper, when some of the older boys complained there wasn’t enough on their plate.The biggest complaints about the lack of food came in 2011 when, court heard, the family began to rebel against their controlling father.
The father denied that he was depriving his family of food, but court heard that the grocery bill was $1,000 less a month once he took over the shopping.The two eldest sons were allowed to get part-time jobs but were not allowed to access their earnings, which were controlled by their father.He biked to work and his wife biked to the grocery store. Because they had five kids, it meant she had to bike to the grocery store almost every day because there were only so many bags she could lug at one time.Her husband didn’t want to buy a car because he wanted to save for a home.
He scrutinized his wife’s every purchase.His daughter testified she led a “lonely existence” in her high school years. Because her family didn’t spend money beyond basic needs, the children were already isolated.The judge noted that the father was a “remarkable” saver, whose frugality ultimately broke up his family.Incredibly, the father, the sole bread winner at $90,000 a year, managed to save enough money to buy a $210,000 townhouse in the suburbs with cash.
He never used credit cards and he certainly didn’t have cable. The townhome he bought in 2005 had three bedrooms. The four tall boys slept in one bedroom, his daughter had her own room and he and his wife shared the master bedroom. To stress his non-materialistic ways, he slept on a matt on the floor.They kept the television in the master bedroom and the father decided what and when the children could watch. Another rule was that nobody could watch television if a member of the family was being disciplined, which ranged from beatings, to whippings to the silent treatment.
The judge noted in his guilty decision, dated Jan. 16, that the man’s wife had to sometimes witness the cruel punishments delivered to her two youngest boys. The judge said that the man’s wife had endured a marriage, and life, that amounted to being the victim of criminal harassment. Some of her children were also deemed victims of harassment and assault.The Ottawa man was arrested at his workplace in May 2011. He chose not to spend money on a lawyer and has remained in jail ever since.
“I am satisfied that Mrs. H. was forced to endure a thoroughly lonely and deprived existence for many years leading to the separation. She suffered deprivation in the basic amenities of life like heat and showers, spousal inequality, disrespect and minor physical and significant emotional abuse,” Justice Hackland said.“She endured the heartache of seeing her children being subjected to the accused’s unfortunate and controlling parenting and his discipline methods of the children, which were abusive and unlawful,” the judge ruled.
The judge noted that the accused’s behaviour threatened his wife’s “physical and emotional integrity.”The judge also complimented the wife for describing her feelings “eloquently.”In her own words, here is how she described her life:“It was Hell and we had to get out.”“Hopeless ... you give up.”“I used to wait for spring ... just surviving ... sad and hopeless.”The man is scheduled to be sentenced at the end of January. It is expected that his pre-sentence jail time will be considered at sentencing.
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Abdi "I'd like to meet this man" Johnson
