Flying

[Lamagoodle]

Flying is changing. It was just a few years ago, when flying was a big event equal to high-end weddings. Women visited beauty parlours days before flying in order to spot the latest style. They put on jewellery and smelled good (expensive perfume).

Men also paid visits to the barber, bought suits, shirts and shoes for the experience.

A few days before the flight, family members who lived in other countries were called and informed on the impending voyage. At home, a feast attended by the who is who, was arranged.

At the airport, you are met by a smiling young xuurul cayn who posed the questions;
Smoking or no smoking sir/ madam?
Aisle or window sir/Madam?

The check-in clerk smiled in a manner which made you think your are a VIP.

In the plane, a smiling young beauty would lead you to your seat and smilingly tell you welcome aboard. The observant eye will even spot her kub. She will even rub her labada gamuun on your shoulder.

When the flight reaches its cruising speed, the beauty will approach you, with a drink in hand and ask you your favourite drink.

Dinner/lunch is served. Coffee/tea and if you are in the mood some liquor is served.

The whole flight was an experience in courtesy and raaxeeysi.

If you wanted (and it was a long flight) you could joke with the hostesses and have access to not only their hearts but also drinks/ cigarettes.

Jolly time.

Nowadays, you are lucky if you find a woman at the check in counter. It is all automated. The few check in clerks you’d find can hardly move because of age.

You come into the plane and you are met by cajuusooyin and some men.

You have to buy everything .


The only thing that has not changed much is the safety demonstrations

[Idman702]

Lama: do you agree in the year of 2015 there shouldn't be a shoe polishing station in the airport.. It always leaves a bitter taste in my mouth when I see old black men shoe shining white men..

[Lamagoodle]

Lama: do you agree in the year of 2015 there shouldn't be a shoe polishing station in the airport.. It always leaves a bitter taste in my mouth when I see old black men shoe shining white men..

Idmaneey, I have also been thinking about that!!! But, I have concluded that it is all about making a living; I have also given this issue a philisophical thought; what is the difference between the waiter, bar man, shop attendants etc and shoe polishers? I concluded that there is no difference other than the fact that in many societies shoes are viewed as a marker of low class.

[KnowThySelf23]

Lama: do you agree in the year of 2015 there shouldn't be a shoe polishing station in the airport.. It always leaves a bitter taste in my mouth when I see old black men shoe shining white men..

wait...hold up. is this in somalia? what kind of fucked up shit is that? someone needs to help and educate these poor souls. i didnt think i could be more ashamed but wow.

[Idman702]

Lama: do you agree in the year of 2015 there shouldn't be a shoe polishing station in the airport.. It always leaves a bitter taste in my mouth when I see old black men shoe shining white men..

Idmaneey, I have also been thinking about that!!! But, I have concluded that it is all about making a living; I have also given this issue a philisophical thought; what is the difference between the waiter, bar man, shop attendants etc and shoe polishers? I concluded that there is no difference other than the fact that in many societies shoes are viewed as a marker of low class.

I just hate seeing the smirk on the Caucasians faces when getting their shoe polished..

[granpremiodespana]

Dmitry, did you remember to flick that switch?


Last week I flew from xxxx to yyyy in yyyy, xxx’s neighbour to the north, on zzzz Airways. I have flown hundreds of times in my life on dozens of different airlines, but this was by far the most bizarre flight of my life. I am glad I have absolutely no fear of flying, because I think most people would have been freaking out and/or wetting their pants by what I experienced.

Let’s start with my experience in the terminal. My flight was scheduled to leave at 2:00pm, but check in didn’t even start until 1:30pm. The process was done entirely manually, without a single computer or printer. I mean this must have been what it was like to fly in the 1970s – they have a hard copy list of all the passengers booked on the plane, and then they check your hard-copy ticket against the list. They then hand-write a boarding pass for you on a stub of paper.

I then passed through immigration and a very minimal level of security (basically an old man asked me to open my bag, and then I walked through a metal detector which I’m not convinced was even switched on). The departures area is a small room, given that the Airport (spelled Airprt on the sign, by the way) handles only one flight at a time. I took out a thick book and made myself comfortable because nobody was making any move to depart soon. Indeed, the plane wasn’t even there yet.

I think the plane made an appearance on the tarmac around 3pm, after our scheduled arrival time of 2:45pm in yyyy City. There are no departure screens of course, an there was no announcement or call to board. Everyone just saw the plane arrive through the window and started to get up and filter outside onto the runway. There was a man at the door checking our boarding passes, but I didn’t know at the time that he was the last airline staff I would see, save for the pilots, until I arrived in yyyy.


short-haul was in all respects like riding a bus – you board the bus yourself without assistance from anyone, nobody checks your ticket/boarding pass, you find your own seat, the seats don’t have seatbelts, there are no safety announcements, there isn’t a single flight attendant, and you just take off and go. And when the bus arrives (I mean, the plane lands), within minutes the door is open and the mobile stairway is positioned at the side of the plane. It’s up to the passengers to find their own way out.
When I first boarded the plane, I changed seats about three times, trying to find one with a working seatbelt. When I realized that in fact none of them worked, I gave up and settled on finding the seat that was least broken and least uncomfortable (note from the photo how the seat-backs were leaning at every which angle).

While I was making myself comfortable, other passengers behind me were helping two very elderly and immobile men into seats near the door.  Why employ air stewards when the able passengers can take care of the disabled passengers? Brilliant.



Please ensure the overhead compartment is.closed.




The plane itself was ancient, and old Soviet-era Russian craft. Such planes are no longer allowed to fly anywhere else in the world because the respective aviation authorities won’t allow it. For example, when I flew on the same airline from Dubai to xxxx, the plane was a regular Boeing 747, because the United Arab Emirates Aviation Authority has certain safety standards. But, because of the relatively low aviation safety standards in yyyy, and the absence of any effective aviation authority in xxxx, airlines like can use these old-school planes.

So that’s how you end up flying on an over-the-hill, unmarked plane without seat belts and an “overhead baggage compartment” that amounts to a shelf (again, it’s more like being in a train or bus than on a plane).

The crew is Russian, but by “crew” I mean two people – the pilot and the co-pilot. They shut the doors themselves before moving into the cockpit to fly the plane. Of course, given the non-existence of any air stewards, there are no safety demonstrations and you won’t hear any of the familiar refrain that frequent flyers have ringing in their ears (“Please make sure your seat backs and tray tables are in their full upright position”). I mean, there aren’t even any tray tables to speak of. I’m not sure there was even a toilet on the plane, for that matter. What, you want a glass of water? Or a landing card? Just knock on the cockpit door and ask Ilya, I’m sure he will help you out.

The advantage of the lax security and safety controls is that you can move freely throughout the plane during the flight, and even take a stroll along the aisle during take-off if you wish. I wouldn’t recommend it though, as the take-off caused the entire plane to shake violently. The rest of the flight was smooth though, and literally within minutes of hitting the runway in Djibouti City the passengers were disembarking the plane. No need to waste time buckled-up in your seats while the plane taxis, waiting for that pesky beep to give you permission to get up. Just go for it!

[granpremiodespana]

Dmitry, did you remember to flick that switch?


Last week I flew from xxxx to yyyy in yyyy, xxx’s neighbour to the north, on zzzz Airways. I have flown hundreds of times in my life on dozens of different airlines, but this was by far the most bizarre flight of my life. I am glad I have absolutely no fear of flying, because I think most people would have been freaking out and/or wetting their pants by what I experienced.

Let’s start with my experience in the terminal. My flight was scheduled to leave at 2:00pm, but check in didn’t even start until 1:30pm. The process was done entirely manually, without a single computer or printer. I mean this must have been what it was like to fly in the 1970s – they have a hard copy list of all the passengers booked on the plane, and then they check your hard-copy ticket against the list. They then hand-write a boarding pass for you on a stub of paper.

I then passed through immigration and a very minimal level of security (basically an old man asked me to open my bag, and then I walked through a metal detector which I’m not convinced was even switched on). The departures area is a small room, given that the Airport (spelled Airprt on the sign, by the way) handles only one flight at a time. I took out a thick book and made myself comfortable because nobody was making any move to depart soon. Indeed, the plane wasn’t even there yet.

I think the plane made an appearance on the tarmac around 3pm, after our scheduled arrival time of 2:45pm in yyyy City. There are no departure screens of course, an there was no announcement or call to board. Everyone just saw the plane arrive through the window and started to get up and filter outside onto the runway. There was a man at the door checking our boarding passes, but I didn’t know at the time that he was the last airline staff I would see, save for the pilots, until I arrived in yyyy.


short-haul was in all respects like riding a bus – you board the bus yourself without assistance from anyone, nobody checks your ticket/boarding pass, you find your own seat, the seats don’t have seatbelts, there are no safety announcements, there isn’t a single flight attendant, and you just take off and go. And when the bus arrives (I mean, the plane lands), within minutes the door is open and the mobile stairway is positioned at the side of the plane. It’s up to the passengers to find their own way out.
When I first boarded the plane, I changed seats about three times, trying to find one with a working seatbelt. When I realized that in fact none of them worked, I gave up and settled on finding the seat that was least broken and least uncomfortable (note from the photo how the seat-backs were leaning at every which angle).

While I was making myself comfortable, other passengers behind me were helping two very elderly and immobile men into seats near the door.  Why employ air stewards when the able passengers can take care of the disabled passengers? Brilliant.



Please ensure the overhead compartment is.closed.




The plane itself was ancient, and old Soviet-era Russian craft. Such planes are no longer allowed to fly anywhere else in the world because the respective aviation authorities won’t allow it. For example, when I flew on the same airline from Dubai to xxxx, the plane was a regular Boeing 747, because the United Arab Emirates Aviation Authority has certain safety standards. But, because of the relatively low aviation safety standards in yyyy, and the absence of any effective aviation authority in xxxx, airlines like can use these old-school planes.

So that’s how you end up flying on an over-the-hill, unmarked plane without seat belts and an “overhead baggage compartment” that amounts to a shelf (again, it’s more like being in a train or bus than on a plane).

The crew is Russian, but by “crew” I mean two people – the pilot and the co-pilot. They shut the doors themselves before moving into the cockpit to fly the plane. Of course, given the non-existence of any air stewards, there are no safety demonstrations and you won’t hear any of the familiar refrain that frequent flyers have ringing in their ears (“Please make sure your seat backs and tray tables are in their full upright position”). I mean, there aren’t even any tray tables to speak of. I’m not sure there was even a toilet on the plane, for that matter. What, you want a glass of water? Or a landing card? Just knock on the cockpit door and ask Ilya, I’m sure he will help you out.

The advantage of the lax security and safety controls is that you can move freely throughout the plane during the flight, and even take a stroll along the aisle during take-off if you wish. I wouldn’t recommend it though, as the take-off caused the entire plane to shake violently. The rest of the flight was smooth though, and literally within minutes of hitting the runway in Djibouti City the passengers were disembarking the plane. No need to waste time buckled-up in your seats while the plane taxis, waiting for that pesky beep to give you permission to get up. Just go for it!

[Jugjugwacwac]

wait...hold up. is this in somalia? what kind of fucked up shit is that? someone needs to help and educate these poor souls. i didnt think i could be more ashamed but wow.

No, in the U.S of A. Also, FYI Shoe shiners in Somalia don't bend down and shine a persons shoes while they're wearing them, cuz that's considered degrading in Somali culture. They as you to take them off, and then shine them for you.

[KnowThySelf23]

wait...hold up. is this in somalia? what kind of fucked up shit is that? someone needs to help and educate these poor souls. i didnt think i could be more ashamed but wow.

No, in the U.S of A. Also, FYI Shoe shiners in Somalia don't bend down and shine a persons shoes while they're wearing them, cuz that's considered degrading in Somali culture. They as you to take them off, and then shine them for you.

bless somalis and theyre culture of "ceeb"

and i wouldn't expect that in the us with theyre history of slavery and racism. wow.

[Lamagoodle]

Shoe shining is a profession. In Brussels and other big European cities shoe shiners earn alot of money. Even in Africa shoe shiners make more money than ppl in other professions.

I think the negativity abt shoe shiners/shining has also to do with how some cultures view the shoe. Remember the dude who threw a shoe at G Bush?

[zulaika]

Flying makes me sick, literally.. I get nauseous. So I take gravol and it makes me sleep the whole flight.

But still I look my best when I go to the airport

[Thuganomics]

The only good thing about flying is the final destination.Especially if that destination is .As soon as I'm off that plain I'm like: .

[Lamagoodle]

Thuga, so it is the destination and not the journey?

BTW, small planes in Africa are dangerous. I flew on several of them and every time I think I will die.

Zulaika; I don't sleep on planes because I am on my guard everytime with one exception. I was on my way to Hong Kong; non-stop 8-9 hours. We flew from Frankfurt in the evening. A very comfortable flight; food and drinks and good music/film. I slept and when I woke up, I started shouting according to the lady sitting next to me; "I am dying". It was almost midday and I lost my sense of time and space when we arrived at the airport; the approach is breath taking if you have been to Hong Kong. The landing/take off is situated almost on the sea with hills all around it.