The wedding

[Lamagoodle]

How are you folks?
I am planing to write a few more episodes of this when I get the time.

Istar has been preparing for this big day. It would be her 3rd wedding but in her mind, this is the only wedding that is worth the name.

This wedding has every ingredient needed for the romour mills; age differences, money, xaawaley power and much more .

It is her wedding. Istar's wedding. She designed it. She paid for it. She is the one who picked Wardheer. She is the one who is paying for the feast, the saar, the buraanbur, the batar and everything. She is in command. Everyone in this village loves her albeit superficially.

She is the queen. She has revitalised this small village and made sure that everyone views her as a rescuer. She had turned the mowlac into a mosque, built a clinic, a school etc. Given the masses what they needed..

It is time for her to have love. Real love. She will call the shots. She has the money. She has the power.

There is a big age gap between her and Wardheer. She is almost hitting 40 even though judging by her dress and manner, she could be mistaken for being 20.. He was 25. Who cares? She does not care. Others do but no one dares to talk openly. How could they? they shouldn't cut the hands that feed them.

To her and her xaawaley friends, age did not matter today. It is all about love.

The celebrations started early in the morning. Two goats and a camel ( baarqab) were slaughtered.

The village was in a festive mood.

This was her revenge. It was also her wedding. A traditional wedding but with technology playing a major part. Everything will be documented and put on social media. Face book in particular. She will send a message to her fellow somalis everywhere that she did it.

The ceremony followed an old pattern even though this was the age of digitilisation, globalisation and urbanisation. Daylight will be eating and talking time. At dusk, Wardheer will be escorted by men in white robes chanting mowlid, geerar and much more. He will be escorted to the hoori –purposely built a few hundred meters from where she was born. It will be sheeko and shaah with the lads in the hoori.

Meanwhile the women will be singing the batar and buraanbur. She will be praised. She had edited the buraanbur texts to ensure that they contained killer lines.

This marriage is very different. Her first wedding was to Rooble, a cousin from the countryside. He was 25 years and she was 17. At that age, at that time, she was viewed as being old. A gumeeys if you would. The kind of gumeeys who needed qaraabo kiil to ensure that she – and the family in the extension- did not end in the annals of reer baadiyo ceeb. Rooble provided the antidote.

In that part of Somali country, marriages are institutions. Concepts such as love are not used. It is dhaqasho and dhaqan. It is about producing and fostering the next generation. The wife and husband have different roles. The topics of discussions, the dynamics of family lives and their interactions – and interactions with others are all predefined. Venturing outside the realm of the norm in this conservative country is tantamount to cultural sacrilege.

The courting, doonis as well as the aroos follow the same rule. There is no face to face courting although there are occasional unofficial meetings. Words such as shukaansi, xodxodosha and dhallin yarees are for garoobs. Presumptive bridegrooms and their families scout girls who are marriage materials. Potential spouses should come from reverential families, have a sound religious and cultural background and willingness to promote that. Scouting if often based on word of mouth; reputation is important. Beauty too is important; qoordheer’s (long necks) have comparative advantages.

For young girls in this conservative country, life at that time, centred on learning to become a mother one day. It was all about minding the waxaro, fetching water and firewood, participating in cultural activities.

It was the shame of the century for a woman/girl to be seen eating or visiting the toilet.

For the boys too, there were some specific social norms. They were expected - as soon as their adam’s apple became visible- to mind the camels, to adhere to certain rules – e.g. taking responsibility.

Marriages were celebrated. It was not like today to quench hormonal desires. If you are a young lady and you come from a respectable family, your parents will receive dozens of requests for your hand in marriage ; if you are a good lad, you will be offered dozens of women to marry.

Marrying your closest relatives was a rare phenomenon. It usually happens in the case when there are some mitigating circumstances; divorcees, widows(wers) and qaraabo kiil. It was through the qaraabo kiil mechanism that Rooble wedded Istar. She was his second wife.

After four years of marriage and two kids, the family moved to a small town. They sold their livestock (mainly camels but also some goats and sheep). They could not avoid the process of urbanisation. They built two hooris on the outskirts of the small town.

Life was tough for the family. For the first time, they became poor. There were no animals. They lost their social status. Everything came at a cost. Rooble and his wives had no skills for urban life. They were not prepared for this kind of life. The kids needed clothing (expensive ones), the wives too and food was expensive.

After a few months in this small town, it became clear that they dynamics of geeljire country could not be sustained. Rooble left for a bigger city to find work/ways to feed his family. Marwo, the other wife, started a small business (selling qaad) while Istar with her kids sought help from the toll.

Soon the winds of change were blowing. Tahrib for a better life north was the main aspiration for everyone. It was soo baxaaya Baydhabo iyo Beledka Luuq, soo baxaayaa Bosaaso iyo Boorame; soo baxayaa Beledweyne iyo Burco.

Istar left for Sudan and then Libya. She met a number of somalis on the way; wadaads and waranles. Soon she was high over heels with a fellow tahribi, Waceeys. She asked for fasaq and this was granted by a wadaad (another fellow tahribi).

Arriving in Libya, life was not as she envisaged. There were no boats waiting to take her to Lampadusa. Waceeys apparently only wanted a hit and run. He was gone after arrival in Libya.
Istar had no money. She did everything in the books to survive and this included selling her body to filthy old men. Survive she did. She raised enough money to pay a trafficker and soon she was in Lampadusa and then Germany.

To be continued….

[LobsterUnit]

So he is marrying a prostitute twice his age.war ninka si xun baad uu gashay.

[Lamagoodle]

So he is marrying a prostitute twice his age.war ninka si xun baad uu gashay.

[LobsterUnit]

Lama one of my relatives married a fellow(younger,but not that younger)who was already married in Somalia.one day,the first poor xalimo ambushed her and launched a vicious assault.war dadkani Waa imtixaan.the days of old men waving their dollars to pick up young xalimos are not finished but the older diaspora xalimos have joined the game.

[Lamagoodle]

Lama one of my relatives married a fellow(younger,but not that younger)who was already married in Somalia.one day,the first poor xalimo ambushed her and launched a vicious assault.war dadkani Waa imtixaan.the days of old men waving their dollars to pick up young xalimos are not finished but the older diaspora xalimos have joined the game.

It is payback time. Xaawaleey time. Istar-ba waa sidaasi.

The tables are turning. It is no longer older/middle aged men looking for pristine. Turubka waa la isla bartay. Xaawaleeys are also on the move.

[LobsterUnit]

Sxb.they want to revisit their youth and get the ne,two,three,to the fo,snoopy doggy dog and and dr dre at yo door.anyway,sheekada ino waad.

[TheLoFather]

Looking forward to the next episode.

[Vivacious]

Magaca Istar sharafta iyo sumcada ayaad ka qaaday

[MujahidAishah]

Lama wrote a story when I get a chance am going to read it

[MissFiora]

I think this tale was inspired by Samu. Thanks abti I enjoyed reading it.