I don't want children.

[Tuushi]

You're not child less naaya, you plan on becoming a hooyo right?

Not if you keep calling me nayaa.

You are going to be the mother of my children

[CigaalSHiiDaaDCFC]

Team no ciyaal is doing great job to dismiss the benefit of kids Just because some kids become waalid inkaar doesn't mean urs will. Tawakal cala laah Ps you have kids, make sure you save money for you retirement. Win win if you ask me

Cigaal u should trademark that #TeamNoCiyaal. Im sure u can sell a lot of products in western countries

But on a serous note. I think not choosing to have children takes a lot of courage and strenght, especially for women, because there is immese societal pressure on them to have children. The norm and expectation is that they have children, and any woman who deviates from this norm is rediculed and punished. So in that sense it is a couragous act. It also takes a lot of realism and honesty to admit that one might not be parent material.

Interestingly though, this may well be an innate drive, in the same way that most people have an innate drive to procreate and produce offspring. But thats just my theory, not sure if there is any truth to it. Maybe genetic testing would find that people who do not want to have children have serious dormant genetic conditions that they would have passed onto offspring if they have children, so maybe it is a form of natural selection.

I should eeh .. I agree with you, it does take a lot of courage for a woman to say I don't want guur nor kids. I can only imagine what ppl say behind her back. There's this guy who is distance cousin of mine, his late 40s have money, his family did everything to force him to get married, he always has some excuses. Never said I don't want to get married or kids. Now ppl say he might not be into women lol.

Team no ciyaal is doing great job to dismiss the benefit of kids :Just because some kids become waalid inkaar doesn't mean urs will. Tawakal cala laah Ps you have kids, make sure you save money for you retirement. Win win if you ask me :

Dadkaan caruurtaa lugu diray. Can you imagine taking your kids round to theirs? it's a known fact that child less people have no adkeysan, are always irritable, grumpy and don't like a single thing out of place.

Lol I haven't experienced that. There are ppl who have kids yet can't stand them. As tuush said he loves kids and I am sure hyper does too. Saw him playing with his younger brother. It's just that they don't want to have them. For hyper, I blame his ocd and as for my sister tuushi, I blame that lady who let her be in the delivery room she was giving birth

[COOL-MAN]

Somalis call a person with no children "Goblan"

Heblow waa Goblan ama heblaay waa Goblan or something along those lines.

If I translate roughly it means. A person with nothing.

But that was before 2016

[Futurist]

You're not child less naaya, you plan on becoming a hooyo right?

Not if you keep calling me nayaa.

You are going to be the mother of my children

One problem: Tuushi is a dude

[COOL-MAN]

[Futurist]

Team no ciyaal is doing great job to dismiss the benefit of kids Just because some kids become waalid inkaar doesn't mean urs will. Tawakal cala laah Ps you have kids, make sure you save money for you retirement. Win win if you ask me

Cigaal u should trademark that #TeamNoCiyaal. Im sure u can sell a lot of products in western countries

But on a serous note. I think not choosing to have children takes a lot of courage and strenght, especially for women, because there is immese societal pressure on them to have children. The norm and expectation is that they have children, and any woman who deviates from this norm is rediculed and punished. So in that sense it is a couragous act. It also takes a lot of realism and honesty to admit that one might not be parent material.

Interestingly though, this may well be an innate drive, in the same way that most people have an innate drive to procreate and produce offspring. But thats just my theory, not sure if there is any truth to it. Maybe genetic testing would find that people who do not want to have children have serious dormant genetic conditions that they would have passed onto offspring if they have children, so maybe it is a form of natural selection.

I should eeh .. I agree with you, it does take a lot of courage for a woman to say I don't want guur nor kids. I can only imagine what ppl say behind her back. There's this guy who is distance cousin of mine, his late 40s have money, his family did everything to force him to get married, he always has some excuses. Never said I don't want to get married or kids. Now ppl say he might not be into women lol.

Yeah i know what u mean. Its almost unheard of for a Somali woman or man to say they want no guur or kids, at least in my experience. But guur =/= kids though. I know Somalis who're married but dont have kids. Similarly ther're women who arent married but who have kids/adopt them.

I like to give pple the benefit of the doubt because u never know what their personal issues are. Maybe ur distant cousin has medical issues, or maybe he has a cadaan Mrs on the DL, alahu aclam who knows

[Hyperactive]

lol cherine. older people are like that not cause they are childless or hate children. ive 4 siblings 7 years old and under. i love kids in general. me not wanting kids is cause too many already why not take care of kids who already exist!!

[Futurist]

^^

لاحول ولا قوة إلا بالله Let's all take a moment to consider how we can learn from these mistakes of these parents.

http://www.cbsnews.com/news/somali-woma ... ound-dead/

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article ... g-pin.html

A fascinating piece of writing I found in the related links:

There are many broken homes like this, led by mothers and fathers who have no clue how to raise children, and no concern for the damage their actions cause and the tortured futures their children will surely endure as a result of the behaviours and beliefs they learn in that home, by their actions.

It’s so damaging to these children because they expect better.

They expect to be loved and cared for, praised and supported. They expect their mothers to be Moms, and their fathers to be Dads; to be there for them and help them, to get along, to make it work, to be the parents they see in other homes – their friends’, the neighbours’, or on TV.

They expect their parents to provide a stable life, and the conditions for a promising future – whether it’s difficult or not, whether they can or not. They expect a real home, where there is food on the table, and laughter in the air; where they aren’t yet burdened with the stresses and realities of adult life.

That they’re sheltered from it.

That they’re safe.

Cause kids just want to be able to not care about such things; to be free to wake up every day with no concern about how they will eat or where they will stay, when their father will stumble home, or if he’ll come home at all. They want to live as others live. They want to be a kid while still a kid and a teen while still a teen.

They want a family. They expect a family.

But, sometimes…that’s just not reality.

It’s not possible.

As horrible as that is. As painful as that may be.

Cause the truth is…

…their bad parent or parents are not capable of providing such a sweet, innocent, and nurturing home in the condition they are in – with the addictions they feed, or the anger they hold; with the abilities they don’t have, or the misguided beliefs they’ve been given.

Because parents have problems like you have problems. And the origins of their personal failings are the same as those of yours.

It was the company they kept, and the experiences they lived. It was the influences they allowed, and the lessons they never learned. It was the thoughts they let in, and the beliefs they came to hold as theirs.

It was the home they grew up in, they life they’ve lived.

Because we are our circumstances – when we know of nothing better.

[Futurist]

Not all people are meant to be parents, just like not all people are meant to be mathematicians, or whatever else.

And though parenting is much harder than math, and way more complex than math – though it’s in fact the hardest job in the world – it is also (by some horrible reality) the easiest job to get.  Assuming you can get laid, that is.

Yet despite how hard it is, and difficult it is, and strenuous it is, nearly every person will accept that job at some point in their life.  No résumé necessary.  No qualifications needed.No wonder, then, so many people are messed up, fucked up.

Cause does the fact that one’s able to make a child ever qualify them to raise one?

Could anything, really, suddenly qualify them?

The answer, of course, is no.

Yet for some reason we expect it of them anyway.  We expect them to provide a stable home and promising future; to care, and support, and love.  We expect them to suddenly and miraculously be better individuals – more responsible and mature, more deserving of admiration or love.

But why should it be like that?

Why – because they are parents?

No f-king way.

It’s stupid.

That a boy managed to talk or push his way into the pants of the girl who would become a mother, does not make him capable of being a Father.  That that girl was able to squeeze a child out of her womb and survive, does not make her capable of being a Mother.

That a sperm finds an egg does not change who we are.

The people a child calls parents – the ones who the child looks up to and expect the world of, the ones he or she blames problems on, and openly or secretly hates – are just two people who drunkenly, accidentally, or stupidly conceived a child when it was, likely, the last thing they should have ever done.

Because they weren’t ready.  Because likely they’d never be ready.

And from that momentary mistake, all your problems and theirs – all that suffering and pain have arisen.

They weren’t thinking about that, though, when they crawled under the sheets.

They weren’t thinking of the challenges they would face; of the difficulty in raising a troubled son or daughter, of how they would treat you when you did right or wrong, or how they would act when they let you down.

They weren’t thinking of how they would face the bad days, when they’ve worked all day, and slaved all day, and there’s a small spat to deal with when they walk through the door, or more bills to pay than they can manage, or decisions to be made under tremendous pressures and stress.

They weren’t thinking that that night would become a lifetime of challenges.

And they weren’t cut out for it.  Most aren’t cut out for it.

They do as they can, though, as best they can.  As best as they their messed up Selves are able and capable.

Or they do nothing at all.

And the broken homes become more numerous.  And the broken children become broken adults.  And the broken adults start more broken homes.

And the cycle continues.

[FarhanYare]

I met this 99years old man sometimes back.

I asked him, you have had a very long life. You are still going strong (he was healthy & fit for his age) what was it like?

His answer: it was a fantastic journey but he has only one regret, he never had kids nor grandkids. He said he wished he had some. Not to scare you. Some ppl want them and they never have. Good luck.

P.s Men who had children already and divorced might see you as the perfect buggage-less partner.

And many people regret actually having children. Go read online wallahi its so sad. I'd rather regret what I never had, than to regret children who already exist.

You know what, I don't want to marry a man with ANY children . his children would be baggage that HE had and I don't want lol.[/quote]





Some people will go to extreme lengths to have children (going to Germany to see specialists, but nonetheless end up failing) and some people don't want them at all. You have a right to stress all the changes that come with having kids especially since it effects you more, but you owe to yourself to also list all the great, enriching things that come with having kids, and weigh the good against the bad to see if you still hold that strong "desire" to not have them.

[openmindopenheart]

I met this 99years old man sometimes back.

I asked him, you have had a very long life. You are still going strong (he was healthy & fit for his age) what was it like?

His answer: it was a fantastic journey but he has only one regret, he never had kids nor grandkids. He said he wished he had some. Not to scare you. Some ppl want them and they never have. Good luck.

P.s Men who had children already and divorced might see you as the perfect buggage-less partner.

And many people regret actually having children. Go read online wallahi its so sad. I'd rather regret what I never had, than to regret children who already exist.

You know what, I don't want to marry a man with ANY children . his children would be baggage that HE had and I don't want lol.[/quote]





Some people will go to extreme lengths to have children (going to Germany to see specialists, but nonetheless end up failing) and some people don't want them at all. You have a right to stress all the changes that come with having kids especially since it effects you more, but you owe to yourself to also list all the great, enriching things that come with having kids, and weigh the good against the bad to see if you still hold that strong "desire" to not have them.

So bring kids into this world to test out if my desire to not have them is legit? Interesting logic there .

Indeed, I love being around them and find fulfillment with the community work I do. Having them is not the only way to see how enriching they can be

[FarhanYare]

Am not sure if I suggested that, but by the looks of it there is no one positive thing. It explains why you are dead set on it. .

[FarhanYare]

Anyway, sorry if I came across as pushover. lol. It is your life.

[FarhanYare]

Not if you keep calling me nayaa.

You are going to be the mother of my children

[Twist]

Wlc back Twist.

Hey, Helwaa yaa Helwaa. What's up, ayeeyo? Adiga iyo magacyo badal maxaa idin kala haysta, qofyahey?

I am in a short break from my somewhat hectic life and just wanted to briefly visit my good old forum, that's all. It's sad to see most of the familiar members aren't that active any more so I better go back to my cave before old memories and reminiscing those good old times make me depressed.

Waar miyaad guursatey muuqaqi wa la waayey.Meshan xasharaad ba ka so buuxsamay iyo dad aan la
fahmayn.

Hal dirac baad dooneysa miya inu igu dul cadaado.Imika Ayeeyo ayaan ka so gabagabeynaya Insha Allah.

Bal marmar mesha madaxa so galiy waan Ku darsane.

Nice to have an old member back.

Guur aa? Oo ma anigaaba garoob noqday marka horeba? Aniga iyo Ismahaan weli kalamaan tegin.

Yeah, I've noticed that. I couldn't tell whether it's some of the former members with new nicks, or totally brand new ones, but there are a lot of new names (the few that are active).

Thanks, walaal. Will do my best to check the forum every now and then, as I am working and studying at the same time now (awoowe back to school haha).