Realest_007 wrote:Nowadays it has become problematic to date for Somali young people.
You cannot talk to a girl and get to know her in public, eventhough nothing harams happens between the two of you.
For girls this problem is huge, a good girl has to worry about her image/reputation as good girl and thus cannot date, talk or walk with guys that are not her family or guys her family knowes.
Some say, a guy needs to go to the parents and ask for their persmission, but as soon as he does this people will assume he wants to marry her. So if the answer is No...the road ends...if the answer of the parents is Yes, people will assume the marriage will follow soon enough lol....while your intention is just to get to know her before deciding on such a big question.
What can one do in this dilemma? Especially the ladies are in this big dillema.
Asalamu alikum
Dating is haraam in Islam, and so thats the way it should be for Somali muslims too.
If you want to get too know a girl the only way you could do it is through her family. In all cases you should have the
intention to get married, this does not mean you will marry her, as you might have differences and not get married.
I advise both females and Males not to marry someone they don't know AT ALL, you must have at least some connection...even if its indirect. For example he goes to your University and so you have heard stuff about him, or she attends the same masjid as you, so you know stuff about her. There's always knowing her/him through some place, through family, work etc. In all cases you both should not be chummy...chummy and close! You should know each other [from far] or through others...there should be a connection, but no relationship between you two.
If you then want to get to know her more, contact her family by calling and speaking to her mother or father, and saying your interested in their daughter. If she agrees, then speak to her and find out if you both suit. The getting to know process should not take too long. There will always be differences in a relationship. There's no
MR PERFECT females....there's no
MISS PERFECT males, and that is life (C'est la vie).
And wallahu 'alim
this is my just two cents.
Wasalam to all