Kolombo wrote:
AW,
I never saw the need to marry from my own. My parents are from different qabiils and I think its better that way. Too much of the same thing can get boring after a while. Besides, if things don't work-out between you & her, it can draw a major wedge between the family. I've seen cousin marriages that have ended up destroying family relations. Why bring such ugliness to your home?
But if you click with someone and she happens to be from your clan, then that's a different story. But seeking out your own kin, that's very backward. I'm not in to the whole "tol" thing. Never attended any "tol" meeting, never donated any money to "tol" issues, not my style. I don't need to belong to feel good about myself, less headache that way.
Kolombo,
I don't mean marrying your first/2nd cousin at all but a woman from the same qabiil.
My friend used to go out with this woman. She was wonderful and had everything he desired in a woman. Unfortunately, she hailed from an ultraqabili family who deeply disliked his qabiil. Once in a while, she would slip up and ask him certain qabiil questions which were offensive. Her mother was a horror known for making poems, statements that were deeply offensive to his tribe. Her fam got between the two (they disliked him solely cause of qabiil).
So at a junction, he could have gone for it and had a family with her or to pursue other opportunities. In the end, the last thing he want to do is think about what her family would say to his children. Would they implant their evil ideas in the offspring ? Or would his children end up becoming a bunch who abhorred their abtiyaal ?
In the end, she ended up marrying this madow guy. He married a woman from his clan and life went on.