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Re: My application to CIA and/or MI5 intelligence division

Posted: Sat Mar 31, 2012 7:46 am
by RovingMadness
Lamgoodle wrote:Roving, you noticed the potential right?

Her first job will be under cover with indho-shareer and jawaan madow. Infiltrate the base; then in dirac at the weddings etc.

By the way, here is an old joke (I have a friend who swears that this really happened)

In the 1970s the government decided to infiltrate the money exchange mafia in Xamar. They used to meet infront of a hotel near offocio guverno. These two lamagoodles were asked to infiltrate; they came to the maffia which by now had noticed the mules; one of the leaders says " waryaahe maanta meeqa lagugu wasayaa?" and the other said " 4 shilin". War naga tagtay ma adigaan sidaan u fool xun miyaan ka bixinayaa 4 shillin; 3,5 ayaan ku siinayaa.

The rookies were by now sweating and thinking of killing the guy who sent them to the homo-market. They went back angry and accused their boys of sending him to a gathering of the perverse; the chief said; idiots, they noticed you


:lol: :lol: :lol:

Re: My application to CIA and/or MI5 intelligence division

Posted: Sat Mar 31, 2012 7:51 am
by Twist


:lol: @ Lamgoodle's story!

Re: My application to CIA and/or MI5 intelligence division

Posted: Sat Mar 31, 2012 7:54 am
by BlackVelvet
Lamgoodle wrote:Blackvelvet; if you are looking for a job send me your CV and I will see to it that I spread it around.
This seems like the wrong way to go about it. You are taking advantage of my lack of experience with this sort of thing :down: :lol:

Re: My application to CIA and/or MI5 intelligence division

Posted: Sat Mar 31, 2012 7:56 am
by BlackVelvet
Twist wrote:

:lol: @ Lamgoodle's story!
Sounds good but too bad I am not American :down:

Re: My application to CIA and/or MI5 intelligence division

Posted: Sat Mar 31, 2012 7:59 am
by Hyperactive
recession hit UK too? bv iney jaasuus noqoto bey rabta hada! :lol:

Re: My application to CIA and/or MI5 intelligence division

Posted: Sat Mar 31, 2012 8:01 am
by Lamagoodle
BlackVelvet wrote:
Lamgoodle wrote:Blackvelvet; if you are looking for a job send me your CV and I will see to it that I spread it around.
This seems like the wrong way to go about it. You are taking advantage of my lack of experience with this sort of thing :down: :lol:
You will be happy with the pay and your working condition. There is even hardship allowance. Are you camera shy? because the work entails some "journalistic" undertakings.

Re: My application to CIA and/or MI5 intelligence division

Posted: Sat Mar 31, 2012 8:06 am
by BlackVelvet
Lamgoodle wrote:
BlackVelvet wrote:
Lamgoodle wrote:Blackvelvet; if you are looking for a job send me your CV and I will see to it that I spread it around.
This seems like the wrong way to go about it. You are taking advantage of my lack of experience with this sort of thing :down: :lol:
You will be happy with the pay and your working condition. There is even hardship allowance. Are you camera shy? because the work entails some "journalistic" undertakings.
Harship allowance...what kind of harship am I expected to face?

Re: My application to CIA and/or MI5 intelligence division

Posted: Sat Mar 31, 2012 9:21 am
by waryaa
Blackv, would u work for a somali intel agency that collects intel on both sides and sells it to the highest bidder?

Re: My application to CIA and/or MI5 intelligence division

Posted: Sat Mar 31, 2012 9:34 am
by BlackVelvet
Who's allowed to bid?

Re: My application to CIA and/or MI5 intelligence division

Posted: Sat Mar 31, 2012 9:37 am
by Protagonist
8-)

Re: My application to CIA and/or MI5 intelligence division

Posted: Sat Mar 31, 2012 9:56 am
by Alphanumeric
:|

Re: My application to CIA and/or MI5 intelligence division

Posted: Sat Mar 31, 2012 12:37 pm
by waryaa
BlackVelvet wrote:Who's allowed to bid?
bv, anyone with $$$. russia? yes, iran? yes, west? yes, alqaeda/shabab, AMISOM, TFG? depends on many conditions and variables. Who the buyer is or is not doesn't concern intelligent gathering employees. You'll have be able to dress like a ninja and with no headscarf, depending on your assignment.

Re: My application to CIA and/or MI5 intelligence division

Posted: Sat Mar 31, 2012 12:47 pm
by The_Patriot
BlackVelvet wrote:Dear Sirs,

I am a female of Somali heritage and would like to apply to become a member of your intelligence team. I believe it is my duty to help in the apprehension of terrorist and those who aid them. I am not sure where to send my application and so this is currently my best option.

I will keep my age, location and other information private so my anonymity is not compromised but I look forward to answering any questions you may have and discussing how I may add value to your team.

I look forward to hearing from you.


Yours faithfully,

BlackVelvet

Please contact me on: blackv3lv3t007@gmail.com

Dear Black,
Thank you for showing interest in our organisation, after careful consideration of your application we regret to inform you that we are not taking your application further as we did not see an exact match with your background for this entry level position.

We will retain your candidate file in our database and we will send you any relevant position that comes up in the future.
We thank you for your interest and wish you all the best in your career search.

Best Regards

XXX

Re: My application to CIA and/or MI5 intelligence division

Posted: Sat Mar 31, 2012 1:05 pm
by FAH1223
RovingMadness wrote:My private agency nooh. You must have a nice, chest, butt & creative mind. We deal in the field of search & rescue!

Pay is attractive
:down: :down:

Re: My application to CIA and/or MI5 intelligence division

Posted: Sat Mar 31, 2012 1:36 pm
by BlackVelvet
Patriot do you work for Azania Intelligence Agency now? :mrgreen:

waryaa wrote:
BlackVelvet wrote:Who's allowed to bid?
bv, anyone with $$$. russia? yes, iran? yes, west? yes, alqaeda/shabab, AMISOM, TFG? depends on many conditions and variables. Who the buyer is or is not doesn't concern intelligent gathering employees. You'll have be able to dress like a ninja and with no headscarf, depending on your assignment.
As tempting as the ninja outfit sounds I would have to decline.