Anyone else notice interracial marriages are much more successful than inter-clan?

[Daff]

Lool Ninkaan sabiishaa cad un buu rabaaye dhaafa

haven't heard that in a while.

[Jabuutawi]

Why are there lately so many lightweight threads?

[CaliQase]

Lool Ninkaan sabiishaa cad un buu rabaaye dhaafa

haven't heard that in a while.

Heavyweight baad tahay hadaad taa taqaan

[SteadyState]

Lol im not against this but pls try to tell the truth!

You've mentioned a number of things that are somewhat common in these relationships. But, why are you denying that these negative aspects don't exist in inter-clan marriages? Often in such marriages there is real enmity between reer abtiyal and the paternal uncles, and one side is going to completely shun or even act in a hostile manner to the child. These types of marriages clearly do not last as long for reasons I've mentioned earlier. So, the poor children are bound to be raised in broken homes which leads them to an unproductive lifestyle later in their adulthood. On the other hand, the problem with the interracial relationships that you've observed is that the Somali parent is not interested in their own culture or rearing their offspring with their cultural identity. That is the main problem and the solution is actually pretty straightforward.

[Theguardian]

Confused.com - the OP is 1) against inter-clan marriage but 2) for inter-racial-marriage?

(I haven't read the replies yet)

Inter-clan marriage work pretty well- I am product of it - my parents still married after over 30 years - that's during the Somalia civil war. And there are many more to count within my own family and within my own Somali community.
Inter-racial marriage are well known within the Somali community to fail. Obviously there are the expectations but does not look very promising.
Also what I notices -within- the inter-racial couples is that they try hard because they feel they have something to proof -especially the women- Scared of the "I told so" so they stick it out more- to save face even within abusive violence marriage.

Obviously there is no research and statistics to back up either of our claims but if you use your daily observation instead of being emotive - your perception will change.

[SteadyState]

That's qabyaalad. All this time you were projecting your prejudices(preferences if that's what you want to call it) onto gazillions of Somalis. There are millions of inter clan marriages bud, and from what I've seen, interracial marriages are more unstable than the aforementioned.

How is that at all qabyaalad? Please explain. I don't believe my qabil to be intrinsically better than others nor is my preference based on enmity for the other qabils. The unfortunate reality is, there is an a great deal of enmity and hatred between the tribes, and it just doesn't make sense in going after a girl who's not of my clan if both my family and her family would not only be against it but actively work to ruin the marriage.

As for their being millions, you're clearly exaggerating sxb. I'm not saying they don't exist, but from my observations of the diaspora at least within Canada, the US, and the UK, they are certainly the exception rather than the norm. I've definitely seen far more interracial relationships than inter-qabil. Now, I can't say anything definitive for the diaspora that reside in other countries, so things may be different in those places.

[Kaafiye]

I am the product of an interclan marriage as well, but the notion that an interracial marriage is more successful than a traditional Somali marriage is one of the biggest loads of BS I've ever heard. It's not even remotely true

[Prlnce]

More likely to be killed by interracial partner than by inter-clan partner.

[sahal80]

Lol im not against this but pls try to tell the truth!

You've mentioned a number of things that are somewhat common in these relationships. But, why are you denying that these negative aspects don't exist in inter-clan marriages? Often in such marriages there is real enmity between reer abtiyal and the paternal uncles, and one side is going to completely shun or even act in a hostile manner to the child. These types of marriages clearly do not last as long for reasons I've mentioned earlier. So, the poor children are bound to be raised in broken homes which leads them to an unproductive lifestyle later in their adulthood. On the other hand, the problem with the interracial relationships that you've observed is that the Somali parent is not interested in their own culture or rearing their offspring with their cultural identity. That is the main problem and the solution is actually pretty straightforward.

theres no comparison between the inter-clan marriages and inter-racial marriages unless you ignore the other cultures!

somalis r the same people regardless of their clan issues

there r a lot of ignorent people but atleast theres no class/race/colour/culture issues between somalis

I you have problem with inter-clan marriages why not stick to your clan?

I would like someone from my reer-jufo- not even my clan

In the old days there were some clans that we used inter-marry them based on our geographical locations but in the diaspora i have seen a lot of HG females marrying our guys...probably bc they r softer and handsome and mudug women r strong so it works for them

Im serious bc of my arabic education but my reer have different mood. My hawadle clan when talking about our women they say if you want a woman who likes tolka go for that jufo, if you want a woman with full of xarago go for that jufo....if you want a baari woman who obeys her man go for this jufo- my jufo-

[SteadyState]

Obviously there is no research and statistics to back up either of our claims but if you use your daily observation instead of being emotive - your perception will change.

I think this is the fundamental problem at issue here. I have no statistical evidence to back up my assertions other than anecdotal, which counts for nothing. But, the thing is, those who want to claim inter-clan marriages are common and very stable clearly have an agenda going on. Hence, this agenda will clearly cloud their observations. OTOH, I don't have an agenda. I'd very much like for inter-clan marriages to be common and healthy, but that just isn't the reality (at least as I've observed it).

Also, how are we defining inter-clan/inter-tribe in this thread? For example, Majerteen-Marehan marriages may be uncommon but are still the same tribe (i.e darod) and hence much more occurring than say Darod-Hawiye, Darod-Isaaq, and Hawiye-Isaac marriages which almost never occur as I've observed. The very rare times they do occur, the life of the people involved usually ends up becoming a nightmare.

[MissSkeptical]

I honestly don't know a single half Somali person who wasn't raised in single parent household. Whether their mom or dad are Somali, the non Somali parent is never around.I just don't agree with this claim that interracial relationships work in the Somali community. I also find biracial Somalis distance themselves from Somali culture . I personally don't find anything good about interracial relationships, however to each his own.

[Xildiiid]

Marry from your clan and that's it, no headache. Both my parents are Isaaq and I know for a fact that I'm going to marry an Isaaq woman.

100% Duriyadda and SNM.

No Daroogo, No Hutu, No Digir & Milix and so on and so forth..

[sahal80]

Obviously there is no research and statistics to back up either of our claims but if you use your daily observation instead of being emotive - your perception will change.

I think this is the fundamental problem at issue here. I have no statistical evidence to back up my assertions other than anecdotal, which counts for nothing. But, the thing is, those who want to claim inter-clan marriages are common and very stable clearly have an agenda going on. Hence, this agenda will clearly cloud their observations. OTOH, I don't have an agenda. I'd very much like for inter-clan marriages to be common and healthy, but that just isn't the reality (at least as I've observed it).

Also, how are we defining inter-clan/inter-tribe in this thread? For example, Majerteen-Marehan marriages may be uncommon but are still the same tribe (i.e darod) and hence much more occurring than say Darod-Hawiye, Darod-Isaaq, and Hawiye-Isaac marriages which almost never occur as I've observed. The very rare times they do occur, the life of the people involved usually ends up becoming a nightmare.

regional based inter-marriages had less problems bc theres a bit cultural gap..for example the women in some region r bad mouthed and use the word w*$ wich could be shocking for a religious jufo like mine but not in another neighbouring community!

communities from cadaado, dhusomareb and caabudwaaq have similar cultural backgrounds and it works between them

i dont like to go deep down but some communities r too tribal and work like a lobby so if your an stranger you would have big broblem with the in-laws bc they dont let their man to be an important in the future if he is not under their influence over his familys issues so waa inuu iska dhis dhiso on the expense of his partner!

Some communities have a social problems and cannot be trusted her own distant relatives with her!

Having said that, marrying a somali is not like marrying an ajnabi who you share with him a zero culture

I speak arabic just like a native and it will take me years to know the true colors of an arab friend

You cant tell them until you live with them, work with them than you will see a totally different person!

Qof ajnabi ah can have some hidden isues like alcohol, can beat you, can kill you, can have obsession, racist in-laws etc.

[SteadyState]

Marry from your clan and that's it, no headache. Both my parents are Isaaq and I know for a fact that I'm going to marry an Isaaq woman.

100% Duriyadda and SNM.

No Daroogo, No Hutu, No Digir & Milix and so on and so forth..

Good for you. But, for many people, this is simply not a practical reality. There's either too few people within their own clan in their city, or within certain clans there's too much intra-clan hostility that it only makes sense to marry from your own sub-clan, which further exasperates the problem.

So, given what you say above, I take it you would absolutely have no problem with say a darod girl or a Hawiye girl marrying a local caadan man? Since, clearly as yourself state, they aren't your people and you're a completely different ethnic group than they are.

[SteadyState]

regional based inter-marriages had less problems bc theres a bit cultural gap..for example the women in some region r bad mouthed and use the word w*$ wich could be shocking for a religious jufo like mine but not in another neighbouring community!

communities from cadaado, dhusomareb and caabudwaaq have similar cultural backgrounds and it works between them

i dont like to go deep down but some communities r too tribal and work like a lobby so if your an stranger you would have big broblem with the in-laws bc they dont let their man to be an important in the future if he is not under their influence over his familys issues so waa inuu iska dhis dhiso on the expense of his partner!

Some communities have a social problems and cannot be trusted her own distant relatives with her!

Having said that, marrying a somali is not like marrying an ajnabi who you share with him a zero culture

I speak arabic just like a native and it will take me years to know the true colors of an arab friend

You cant tell them until you live with them, work with them than you will see a totally different person!

Qof ajnabi ah can have some hidden isues like alcohol, can beat you, can kill you, can have obsession, racist in-laws etc.

You are forgetting one very important dimension to this, sxb. There is a very large subset of Somalis who consider themselves to be Arabs and thus a completely different race and culture than another large subset of Somalis who consider themselves black African. Therefore, such a relationship would itself be an interracial relationship! So, why support one kind of interracial relationship (i.e inter-clan), and be against others?

Also, again, you seem to be completely oblivious to the fact that Somalis are racist/hateful against each other more than ajnabis are to them. It's like you and the others in this thread are purposely ignoring the towering elephant in the room. Perhaps we need an example to drive it home: say a midgaan guy were to marry an Ogaden girl. Would anyone here deny that the midgaan guy would experience more hatred, more violence, and more opposition to the marriage than your typical Pakistani family? The same is largely true for any non-darod Somali man who wanted to marry the Ogaden girl. He would still face much more resistance and opposition to the marriage than marrying your typical Arab or Pakistani girl. More importantly, his family as well as the family of the girl will actively work to destroy the marriage. No one can deny this happens as there are even documented cases of this on this very forum. In fact, based on from what I've observed, the Ogaden family would be much more welcoming of their daughter marrying an Arab man than a non-Darod Somali man. I'm sure many others have observed this even if they do not want to admit this reality because it undermines their agenda.