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surrender wrote:oo gabadha albaabka loo furayo magacmo la'dahay? i understand if shes disabled, the door was too heavy or something, laakinse is bullshit to expect a man to hold the door you, or to pull out the chair. there are certain things in life married or not, romantic or not, that men must do for women and this isnt or shouldnt be one of them. Ilaahay kuma kalifin and we shouldnt too.

If you were with your male colleague and were both going through a door at the same time, you would not expect him to open the door for you?

BV,

I think I was always like that. Just thought it was polite and the thing to do.

BlackVelvet wrote:

nomadicwarlord wrote:I support gender equality. "To each his own door"...that's the slogan.

So you'd cook your own afur and clear your own plate. 50/50 all the way?

Clear my own plate? Yes definitely. Cooking is a responsibility that can be shared by both. Opening a car door is not a necessity but an act of courtesy. I open doors naturally and not because I have to.

Basra you calling anyone weird is weird

AbdiWahab252 wrote:BV,

Wanawake ni wajanja


Shirib,

If I had settled down when I graduated university and got a job, my kid would have been a teenager But instead I dated endlessly and now I am too old to run after a kid.

Ni wewe ndio mjanja, sote tunajua

Perfect_Order wrote: Not anymore

But I'm pretty good with ladies so I don't need to do any of that. But the thing is I'm already 'normal' or 'pleasant' to be around with, not those weird dudes who don't know how to have a pleasant convo without making the girl feel uncomfortable.

With me, I would only do that to set the mood for a memorable evening out............. with my wife or soon to be.

other than I think my motives would be put into question istaqfurallah

Ala maxaa is faaniseyooy

But I think you're right about the car and chair thing coming across as suspect, especially to someone who is not used to it. Lakin why does this chivalrous behaviour have to be only for memorable nights with your wifey, why not the norm?

Shirib, how are you Somali

nomadicwarlord wrote:

BlackVelvet wrote:

nomadicwarlord wrote:I support gender equality. "To each his own door"...that's the slogan.

So you'd cook your own afur and clear your own plate. 50/50 all the way?

Clear my own plate? Yes definitely. Cooking is a responsibility that can be shared by both. Opening a car door is not a necessity but an act of courtesy. I open doors naturally and not because I have to.

Does that mean you always open the car door when appropriate?

nomadicwarlord wrote:

BlackVelvet wrote:

nomadicwarlord wrote:I support gender equality. "To each his own door"...that's the slogan.

So you'd cook your own afur and clear your own plate. 50/50 all the way?

Clear my own plate? Yes definitely. Cooking is a responsibility that can be shared by both. Opening a car door is not a necessity but an act of courtesy. I open doors naturally and not because I have to.

Research has recently suggested if social reproduction of a household( being a mother, being a wife, house work, etc) was calculated and given a monetary value, it would be among one of the best paid occupations in advanced post-industrial societies excluding Japan - that is western Europe, North America excluding Mexico and Australia and New Zealand.

BV,

Maybe I been here too long, or maybe I'm just a gentleman

BlackVelvet wrote:Does that mean you always open the car door when appropriate?

Majority of the time, but wouldn't go out of my way to do that. I'm sure majority of women wouldn't hold against their partner if he chose not to open the door for them.

marcassmith wrote:Research has recently suggested that if social reproduction( being a mother, being a wife, house work, etc) was calculated and given a monetary value, it would be among one of the best paid occupations in advanced post-industrial societies excluding Japan - that is western Europe, North America excluding Mexico and Australia and New Zealand

That makes sense.

BlackVelvet wrote:

Perfect_Order wrote: Not anymore

But I'm pretty good with ladies so I don't need to do any of that. But the thing is I'm already 'normal' or 'pleasant' to be around with, not those weird dudes who don't know how to have a pleasant convo without making the girl feel uncomfortable.

With me, I would only do that to set the mood for a memorable evening out............. with my wife or soon to be.

other than I think my motives would be put into question istaqfurallah

Ala maxaa is faaniseyooy

But I think you're right about the car and chair thing coming across as suspect, especially to someone who is not used to it. Lakin why does this chivalrous behaviour have to be only for memorable nights with your wifey, why not the norm?

I just don't understand this car door thing, ya know? I think it has it's origins with assisting ladies off of horses, than carriages, but I know damn well they didn't have to walk the length of the car just to open the door...

Opening regular doors is normal, I don't think that is something a guy should go without, pulliing chairs is weird and just not my custom, all these things I really don't put much emphasis in, to me it's all about the vibe.

Naive, naive BV things of the norm are always over looked and not noticed except as an after thought. Likewise when someone dates they should only become "chivalrous" as things become deeper and substantial.

This is just the way I am.

Dating wa xaraan subxanallah haweenka maxa ku dhacay hada waxay no keenaan dhaqanka kuffar

Perfect_Order wrote:
I just don't understand this car door thing, ya know? I think it has it's origins with assisting ladies off of horses, than carriages, but I know damn well they didn't have to walk the length of the car just to open the door...

Opening regular doors is normal, I don't think that is something a guy should go without, pulliing chairs is weird and just not my custom, all these things I really don't put much emphasis in, to me it's all about the vibe.

Naive, naive BV things of the norm are always over looked and not noticed except as an after thought. Likewise when someone dates they should only become "chivalrous" as things become deeper and substantial.


This is just the way I am.

It follows the same principles as not swearing infront of a lady for example, standing up when a lady joins or leaves a table. It's custom amongst the English, boys get taught these things in private school I was told, it's a sign of refined upbringing since it's behaviour associated with 'noble gentlemen and ladies' as opposed to the 'common folk'.

*edit* And also being the last one in/first one out of a vehicle is a way of protecting the female from any harm that may be waiting outside.

Teedakale why are you calling me naive? I am older than you waraa

nomadicwarlord wrote:I support gender equality. "To each his own door"...that's the slogan.

Similarly Nomadicwarlord,

I think we need to be more specific when we speak of gender equality. This is a contested term because gender is not defined biologically but rather its socially constructed. Therefore, when we speak of gender quality, I think its imperative to set some framework by which we can judge the difference between the biology of a woman/man and the roles society thrusts upon them - mostly, this choice is voluntary.

I don't think gender equality truly sums up the deep social inequalities between men and women, in actual fact, its a misleading term because it implies that there is some form of equality underpinning it.

A woman might physically look like a woman but might actually identify more with men. When I speak of ''emancipated females'' -these type of females are biologically females but do not identify with other females, or at least in the traditional sense. 'Emancipated females' are single handedly reconfiguring the role of the female in a post-industrial society. They are introducing a third category in the traditional male/female dichotomy. The career minded spinsters

grandpakhalif wrote:Dating wa xaraan subxanallah haweenka maxa ku dhacay hada waxay no keenaan dhaqanka kuffar

Somali people go on dates, get over it before you develop a heart condition.

BlackVelvet wrote:

Perfect_Order wrote:
I just don't understand this car door thing, ya know? I think it has it's origins with assisting ladies off of horses, than carriages, but I know damn well they didn't have to walk the length of the car just to open the door...

Opening regular doors is normal, I don't think that is something a guy should go without, pulliing chairs is weird and just not my custom, all these things I really don't put much emphasis in, to me it's all about the vibe.

Naive, naive BV things of the norm are always over looked and not noticed except as an after thought. Likewise when someone dates they should only become "chivalrous" as things become deeper and substantial.


This is just the way I am.

It follows the same principles as not swearing infront of a lady for example, standing up when a lady joins or leaves a table. It's custom amongst the English, boys get taught these things in private school I was told, it's a sign of refined upbringing since it's behaviour associated with 'noble gentlemen and ladies' as opposed to the 'common folk'.

*edit* And also being the last one in/first one out of a vehicle is a way of protecting the female from any harm that may be waiting outside.

Teedakale why are you calling me naive? I am older than you waraa

True that is what they are taught and more power to them, but at the same time they are all about keeping outward appearances and not anything to do with character. These same people think it is 'civilized' conversation to backbite and make fun of people in a 'civilized' way.

Anyways walaashiys is there really anything, that you found wrong with what I have said earlier, especially waiting to do some of these things as the relationship deepens and you want to give a sign that you are really serious about this?