SERIOUS ADVICE NEEDED..........

[BlackVelvet]

Even if he married again, people shouldn't get a divorce.

Let's leave that point aside for now.

PO give the lady a man's perspective. It's obvious Hanni is feeling like he doesn't love her or he doesn't care. Men are obviously different to women, how should she reach out to him emotionally? And do you agree that him not calling her or wanting to spend time with his friends instead/before her is a sign that he doesn't care?

[SultanOrder]

shit happens... I have no clue

[BlackVelvet]

shit happens... I have no clue

Very helpful

Goes to show, men are naturally emotionally retarded, it would be unfair to hold it against them. The next man you marry will be exactly the same anyway.

[haxxor]

shit happens... I have no clue

Very helpful

Goes to show, men are naturally emotionally retarded, it would be unfair to hold it against them. The next man you marry will be exactly the same anyway.

Not true.

[haniDD]

shit happens... I have no clue

Very helpful

Goes to show, men are naturally emotionally retarded, it would be unfair to hold it against them. The next man you marry will be exactly the same anyway.

Not true.

lol........... i dont think i will ever get marry again its not worth the hassle.

plus i just want enjoy being mother and give my boys everything they need.

AND ENJOY being single again without man giving me headache.

anyways guys thanks for your input.

[HELWAA]

True. Being in this place makes you cynical about people lakin there is the possibility that it might be true. You know nimanka Somaliyeed have done such things before. It's very easy in theory to say, wakaas he's married another woman, worse without even telling you so get a divorce ASAP lakin when you're advising someone else it's not so black and white soma'aha.

When you're done with the guy and want get divorced you turn to ur family esp ur father who gave you away to him.
There is nothing wrong with asking advice bv, but when it comes life changing decisions like this, the last pple you should turn to are strangers.who doesnt give a shit about ur life and dont know the whole story.
It's wrong to advice anybody to get divorced even if the guy is useless and married someone.Because the end of day it's her decision to make.





HaniD

I'm sorry sis if you're serious...this is a public forum and all kinda of pple comes here.We never know who is telling the truth or not.

Anyway it seems you're still attached to ur husband and have feelings for him...otherwize you would't be bothered asking strangers for advice.I said this to you before...talk to ur parents.

[SultanOrder]

I think a bad husband is better than no husband

[haniDD]

Anyway it seems you're still attached to ur husband and have feelings for him...otherwize you would't be bothered asking strangers for advice.I said this to you before...talk to ur parents


I OFF COURSE I STILL HAVE FEELINGS FOR MY HUSBAND, HE IS MY HUSBAND AND THE FATHER OF KIDS. BUT HE HURTS ME TOO MUCH.



BUT CANT U GUYS UNDERSTAND THAT MY FAMILY WOULD JUST TALK ME OUT OF IT. AND HE WOULD MAKE ME LOOK LIKE THE BAD ONE COS HE WOULD JUST DENIE IT.AND SAY HE IS WILLING TO GIVE ME WHATEVER I NEED AND TAKE RESPONSBILILIES FOR HIS CHILDREN. SO I WOULD JUST BE BACK ON ZERO.

SO I WANT TO BE CLEVER ABOUT IT AND GET MY DIVORCE OR EVEN SORT HIMSELF OUT. BUT WHAT SHOULD I DO GET TO HIM TO DVORCE ME? OR GET BACK TO NORMAL LIKE BEFORE.

AND I PREF TALKING TO STRANGERS COS TOMORROW IF WE GET BK TOGETHER.
IT WOULDNT BE ' LOOK AT THEM YESTERDAY THEY WERE FIGHTING AND TODAY THEY ARE PLAYING HAPPY FAMILIES'. I JUST NEED TO DO THIS OWN MY OWN WITHOUT MY FAMILY INTERFERING. OR GETTING MY MUM WORRIED COS SHE LIKES HIM. AND SHE CONSIDERS HIM THE BEST SON-INLAW SHE HAD.

SO EVERYONE WISH MY LUCK.

[SultanOrder]

I told you, it's just as a I suspected, Somali's all fear about what people might say, but who cares, stuff like that is what exasbarets problems, like family abuse, mental illness, failed marriages, etc. People will talk but at the sametime, if things work out they will also say look at them they had their problems but alhamdulilah it managed to workout. If I were you I would get everyone in on it, but you've already lost one of the "battles" because by not letting people know from the beginning they will naturally assume this all just started and your jumping the gun with a divorce. But despite your mistake still go with your family mediation, and his family mediation.

Also, before you decide to divorce, you guys can separate for several months, and see if you guys can't work it out slowly, seeing how he likes it to be gone out of the house, and you can see what it would be like to be completely on your own.

[HELWAA]

Once ur parents know it's serious...he will do everything he can to save his marrige.But if you keep ur problems to urself he will walk all over you like a doormat walle.And NO you cant get divorce just like that...THE FAMILY HAVE TO GET INVOLVED AND KNOW THE WHOLE STORY.

Good luck.

[BlackVelvet]

Forgive me for saying so but it seems as though you want to divorce your husband just to teach him a lesson and that is both juvenile and retarded. Be an adult about it, if you truly want a divorce do it properly and go the whole nine yards. If you want to get a divorce behind his back to teach him a lesson and then get back together without anyone finding out, go for a jog, sleep on it and see if it still makes sense to you. If it still does, slap yourself.

[HELWAA]

I told you, it's just as a I suspected, Somali's all fear about what people might say, but who cares, stuff like that is what exasbarets problems, like family abuse, mental illness, failed marriages, etc. People will talk but at the sametime, if things work out they will also say look at them they had their problems but alhamdulilah it managed to workout. If I were you I would get everyone in on it, but you've already lost one of the "battles" because by not letting people know from the beginning they will naturally assume this all just started and your jumping the gun with a divorce. But despite your mistake still go with your family mediation, and his family mediation.

Also, before you decide to divorce, you guys can separate for several months, and see if you guys can't work it out slowly, seeing how he likes it to be gone out of the house, and you can see what it would be like to be completely on your own.

yup.

[Du$ty]

[MujahidAishah]

Hi hani sis ... ive been in the exact situation were you have been my husband use to never pay me or the kids attention he would go to work come home eat then go straight back out .. the days he was there he use to spend time on the laptop and no play with his sons...
my family were tell me to divorce him but i didnt give up on my marriage because i believed thta marriage is for life and i wanted my kids to have a father and not become another statstic of being a broken home... i use to tell everyone that things will work out and illah will make every thing better and that if you samir illah will reward for that so i put up with everything for 2 years and allaxamduallah last march everything turned out fine ..

we realised that he was suffering the effects of black magic and everything is fine now .. i would say just stick by him and give it time hun ..illah sees all if you have patience your patience will be rewarded and if he is up to something illah will bring out in to the open

[HELWAA]

Hi hani sis ... ive been in the exact situation were you have been my husband use to never pay me or the kids attention he would go to work come home eat then go straight back out .. the days he was there he use to spend time on the laptop and no play with his sons...
my family were tell me to divorce him but i didnt give up on my marriage because i believed thta marriage is for life and i wanted my kids to have a father and not become another statstic of being a broken home... i use to tell everyone that things will work out and illah will make every thing better and that if you samir illah will reward for that so i put up with everything for 2 years and allaxamduallah last march everything turned out fine ..

we realised that he was suffering the effects of black magic and everything is fine now .. i would say just stick by him and give it time hun ..illah sees all if you have patience your patience will be rewarded and if he is up to something illah will bring out in to the open

Onther personal story..hmmm