Somali Women and Revert Marriage Phenomenon

[The-Screw]

why do we need a PhD, a car, and a job to perform a biological function and social necessity?

[Gedo_Boy]

Thx for getting my back The-Screw! 8)

I think this follows the logical path of human development. Food, shelter, clothing are priorities that precede things.

Biology always trumps societal impositions, we have to be aware of that. And if my son or daughter can't focus on their goals in life b/c of their hormones, it only makes sense to douse that fire before you can expect them to focus on other things.

We can try to emulate gaalo, but they fulfill their biological functions through relationships/boyfriend/girlfriend scenarios so to expect Somalis to live like gaalo in terms of education/career but attempt to downplay the biological aspect, we will get neither.

[hilal2020]

I agree with what X.playa wrote before on similar topics, but I'm just going to reiterate because he is 100% right.

I think Somalis have a major social problems, somalis always complain about their girls marrying non-Somalis but there is no where Somali xijab girls can meet a like minded somali male of her peers.

Every other community has social single community clubs where even the parents go with their children to socialize with their own age from the opposite sex.

We have 90% of somali males not been able to meet a decent somali girl other then gaalo club or a dirty Ruwaayad. We have all the young ripe Somali girls locked behind doors and well fed with all those calories from rich diet of bariis and basto unburned.

The old Shukaansi of Somalia where the girl some how after months of secrecy during her evening trips to the market fetching sugar and gas for lambs and bringing a guy to her dad is over.

Instead of huge malls and masajid that costs 100,000 (I'm not saying don't expand masjids or do business, but social issues have to take precident) Somalis need to deal with reality, this menace of so many singles..should be dealt with.

We also are living the West. So I don't know why anyone would be concerned with mixing between races....it is bound to happen. People have choices. Somalis do not help themselves even in coming to the West. The killing, the laziness, the arrogance and what not has followed us here. So you have young girls (and boys) that just don't want to be associated with that.

Wow truth hurts.

[The-Screw]

i followed this topic from the beginning and nothing really got my attention enough to warrant a reply until you asked that question. it was like one of those scenes where a group of intelligent people (or sadly in this case just idiots!) are debating in a room and the janitor(no offense GB, just making a point) who is changing the trash bins asks a question that stops everything.


alright then, as you were lads.

[FAH1223]

FAH123,

Don't knock that! You are closing a door Allah has opened to allow people to avoid fitna.
Boys & girls are all different, and some of them seek xaram relationships b/c they need an emotional/intimate connection, some boys/girls have sex drives slightly higher than FAH123's and are prone to making mistakes if they don't have a xalaal outlet.

If my son wanted to avoid fitna and get married, Ofcourse I would try to my best to help him out, even if I had to turn the basement into an apartment for them. In fact, in the earlier years, that would strengthen the family bond. I always had extended family live among mine and I think it made for a rich childhood. That's how it used to be done in the past, why do we need a PhD, a car, and a job to perform a biological function and social necessity?

Families create progress, and I would rather see a young, beautiful Somali girl have the social fulfillment of a family than always feeling vulnerable and on the verge of sinning b/c she needs affection.

I know one guy, whos like my adeer, his whole family lives close by...they have a big house and the whole family lives there in the manner in which you described. They all work and everything, help each other out, his brothers who are married are there also...they also have another house too.

But I still think you are a little too far fetched my friend, I think my pessimism just can't see too many Somali parents willing to do as you describe.

[Gedo_Boy]

FAH123,

Just b/c Somali parents are not up on that idea doesn't mean it's the wrong idea. In fact, that could explain why we have the crisis we do 8)

Current Somali parents cannot be relied upon, by and large, to come up with innovative solutions to our circumstances.

But Somali parents also accept reality when it gets thrown in their face.

Once, before I finished university, I told my mom I wanted to get married and she started throwing up the whole: "YOU haven't graduated etc..."

I told her, I am afraid of falling into zina and becoming a serial fornicator and all of a sudden she changed her mindset and completely went along with me.

Somali parents don't know the damage they are doing b/c their hormones are reduced, but you have to remind them that the consequences can be much worse and they will come around and see that biological necessities aren't things that wait until everything 'falls into place' in life.

[FAH1223]

FAH123,

Just b/c Somali parents are not up on that idea doesn't mean it's the wrong idea. In fact, that could explain why we have the crisis we do 8)

Current Somali parents cannot be relied upon, by and large, to come up with innovative solutions to our circumstances.

But Somali parents also accept reality when it gets thrown in their face.

Once, before I finished university, I told my mom I wanted to get married and she started throwing up the whole: "YOU haven't graduated etc..."

I told her, I am afraid of falling into zina and becoming a serial fornicator and all of a sudden she changed her mindset and completely went along with me.

Somali parents don't know the damage they are doing b/c their hormones are reduced, but you have to remind them that the consequences can be much worse and they will come around and see that biological necessities aren't things that wait until everything 'falls into place' in life.

Damn, thats too true.

[Amina/Tammy]

I find that many people put us reverts on a pedestle. We have so much baggage from when we were kafirs. People don't understand that. I know at least 300 reverts and I can tell you that maybe 3 have been able to leave old habits and behaviors behind. It is hard being a revert. I am truly blessed to have a VERY patient husband. He has had to deal with my family disowning me for converting and then for marrying a black guy. The only way I could see a woman marrying a white revert or any revert is if that person is strong in Iman.
I hope I am explaining properly. The bottom line is I hope my kids marry Somali.

Amina
http://tammyssomalihome.blogspot.com/

[Gedo_Boy]

Amina/Tammy,

Opposites attract it seems. To some of these women who lived their whole life in Islam, a revert seems exotic.

BTW, to know 300+ reverts you must be living in the Gulf where every Saudi's main goal in life is to marry a blue-eyed white woman for the slight slight slight hope his child will grow up having dirty blond hair.....it's like a trophy over there.

I even heard on a forum a woman say to wear gloves if you are white

[Amina/Tammy]

I lived in Saudi from 2002 - 2006 and met many reverts. I also know hundreds from Facebook. Many groups just for reverts.

[Amina/Tammy]

When I was there I made sure to cover totally. I didn't speak if I was in public because if they knew I was Canadian then they would charge me double for everything. On top of that many people seem to think that western women are loose and have sex 24/7. I can't count how many times I was followed home from the mall because I was talking in English to my son.
Scary stuff for sure.

Covering the face wasn't enough even because they could see my green eyes and the white skin from the eye holes in the niqab.

[Gedo_Boy]

[quote="Amina/Tammy"]I lived in Saudi from 2002 - 2006 and met many reverts. I also know hundreds from Facebook. Many groups just for reverts.[/quote]


Masha'Allah
Again, this might be a stereotype but reverts definitely are the most suited for da'wah. They have intense passion for it. I've seen Yusuf Estes, Khalid Yasin, Pierre Vogel (on the German side). Remarkable.

I think a quote that was attributed to Umar (ra) is: "One who doesn't understand Jahiliyah doesn't understand Islam"

[AlphaMale]

why are young somali sisters intent on marrrying any new revert. At my local mosque, every other marriage is between a somali woman and a revert. I have no problem with this but whats wrong with the plenty of somali men out there?

Is this purely religious or something more sinister?

There are far greater numbers of somali females than available somali males for marriage. Canada is the worst. Women are desperate over there lol. I know one thing, it can be hard to replace the giving and tolerant somali culture. Our open ended culture of giving and sharing may not sit well with some converts.

[Rayan_08]

i followed this topic from the beginning and nothing really got my attention enough to warrant a reply until you asked that question. it was like one of those scenes where a group of intelligent people (or sadly in this case just idiots!) are debating in a room and the janitor(no offense GB, just making a point) who is changing the trash bins asks a question that stops everything.


alright then, as you were lads.

[Aliyah99]

Personally I find cadaan men so unattractive Christiano Ronaldo makes me wanna puke If there was no more Somalis on earth I would get married to an arab/black mixed race/pakistani rather than white.