ms.naliaa wrote:
Ever met a dude that you thought was really nice.....but realized that all he talked about was mundane everyday things...and you soon found urself really bored...and ignoring his calls...and when you did pick up...found an excuse to stop talking....
But he is sooo nice that you dont wanna hurt him but you need to tell him "this aint gunna go no where"
Hunno, in london, most girls complain of the nice guy syndrom. I was always fascinated at my female freinds who complain of this trate of ''nice'' guy.
in my opinion this is my defination of a nice guy: a guy who bends over backwards for a girl he just met; he takes her to expensive restaurants, he spends huge amounts on dates, he talks about topics he thinks will impress her ( if he talks at all), he is afraid of disagreeing with her or upsetting her in a conversation, he doesnt say anything when she takes the piss i.e. she comes late to a date, she doesnt call him back when she promised to call him back and hence he doesnt call her out on her lies and he doesnt say anything when she ''tests'' him ( belive me you boys will always be tested).
so the simply root/conclusion to why girls hate nice guys is this simple premis in my opinion: when a guy does all the above i have mentioned like taking her to really expensive dates or he never calls her out when she is consistently late for their dates ( this is disrespect) is that she starts seeing the guy as a FAKE.
why? simple, if his friend was always late for their meeting, he would say something, he would say to the friend that he is tired of the constant lateness and thus is disrespectful.
if he went out with a friend, he would not take that friend to the most expensive restaurant to impress that friend. he would probably take the friend to a cheap location where they can feel comfortable and talk, but because he is trying to impress the girl, and is thus not comfortable taking her to a cheap location like a coffee shop to chill, she senses and reads the FAKENESS in his actions.
this also goes the same when he is talking to a girl he just met and is thus labbled fake for this simple reason: he wants to impress her and thus doesn't say anything risky or doesn't even disagree with her and doesnt voice his own opinions. YET, this very boy would disgree, joke and banter with a friend if he was conversing with them over the fone. thus the girl reads it as fake, but because she is a girl and doesnt want to offend, she uses the euphamism ''boring'' or ''too nice''
lesson learned: guys need to be consistent and don't impress her, as she will read that as being fake and incongruent; AKA, lacks confidence and needs to mask it with ''niceness''. have a backbone for God's sake, if she is late, tell she is being disrespectful. call her out
ps: the more attractive and experienced the girl is, the easier she will place these ''nice'' trates in this category. becaseu she has met many of these types.
for girls: sometimes you need to help the guy out , specially if he is inexperienced; do this simpl thing: say in a jokey way
'' warya, this convo is so boring and awkward'' ''are you scared of me?'' , i promise you he will relax his guard and would stop worrying about what to say next to make the convo ''entertaining'', but one must laugh when doing this to not come across as rude/jerk. works for the boys too.
just my opinions.
