SomaliNet Forums

Lillaahiya,
horta there are certain things a man shouldn't complain about or even mention such as money when it comes to his family. But in recent times, waxaad mooda most divorces in the Somali community wuxuu ka imaadaa finance misuse and mistrust between couples, waxaasna waxaa keeney aamindaro dadkan dhextaaley markiihore. Haduu rabo inuu kufuro naagtiisa wax daciifah like money, dee isaagaa wax udhiman

Anigna ninkan uma camirin, manarabin inaanba comment kabixiyo his domestic dramas because i believe it shouldn't even be in our place to have a say in this at all, dambigeega marabo. Kaliya waxaan layaabey sidaad simple uga dhigateey 'nin musqul dhaqaya' and to me that is the out-most disrespect to a man. Sideed rabtaa ninkaga inaad banaanka udirto uu ragkale la ficiltamo adigoo hada musqusha ku dhaqeey?

How can you even look at him the same, when he just cleaned the washroom? subxaana allah

Tuba wrote:

OliveOil wrote:No reason to divorce a woman...N she has your kid for God's sake!!! Man UP...tell her NO you won't do house chores...:

Somalis dont know how to communicate w/ each other. All dey know is da 'D' word.

without the D-word (waa laisku tuman lahaa).
the D-word keeps things in order.

N I seriously dislike the fact that he is generalizing here...not every "Xaliimo" is a feminist N Mizz Independent...Shid I'll gladly let my husband play his role without interfering with his business...I guess I'm old traditional!

OliveOil wrote:N I seriously dislike the fact that he is generalizing here...not every "Xaliimo" is a feminist N Mizz Independent...Shid I'll gladly let my husband play his role without interfering with his business...I guess I'm old traditional!

u r what coolP is searching for.

could i arrange a meeting between the two of you?

thire is too many feminist xalimo's, sometime its better to get wife from afria but make sure she has no somali girlfreinds who corupt her, n make sure she dnt go outside a lot.

zingii wrote:

OliveOil wrote:N I seriously dislike the fact that he is generalizing here...not every "Xaliimo" is a feminist N Mizz Independent...Shid I'll gladly let my husband play his role without interfering with his business...I guess I'm old traditional!

u r what coolP is searching for.

could i arrange a meeting between the two of you?

Maskiin...I feel sorry for him

or maybe between the two of us.

since we live in the same city.

am maskiin with no kibir or suuro.
so long as you dont try to change me
into something am not we would be
cool/rageedi.

If you have never had an employee just returned from Maternity nor had a kid before then you haven't experienced POSTnatal depression!!!

I feel for you and i don't believe any man was created to withstand the level of abuse you might be experiencing. All you have to know is it is not delibrate nor is it personal she might not even understand what is possessing her to react or act as she might do towards the one person who is in her face majority of the time. She can't blame the 6month old nor is there is quick fix if she is experiencing postnatal depression.

If this is the real cause then you will feel really stupid in 6months time when she is herself again. This is the ultimate test of the clause in the marriage contract in small print/invisible ink that states For better or for worse. Luckily it is temperary and the rewards of your patience, understanding, courage, forgiveness and perseverance will be a happy family.

I currently have 1 returned from maternity another back next month and a third in 3 months time i am not sure if i will survive the tag-team but i will give it my best and carry a box of tissues i'll probably need it more than them.

She needs your help and she was not raised to kindly ask for your help so she is resorting to other means to get the attention or divert the attention. Only when you explore total submission will you actually find the true cause and than you can help each other regain normality.

Allah guide you on the right path.

Cirwaaq wrote:I currently have 1 returned from maternity another back next month and a third in 3 months time i am not sure if i will survive the tag-team but i will give it my best and carry a box of tissues i'll probably need it more than them.

divorce ?? Just don't impregnate her.

“I basically manage all of our money. When a husband lets his wife manage, like the money, your never going anywhere.”- Larsa Pippen on how she knows her husband, Scottie Pippen, is not cheating. “The Real Housewives of Miami” Episode One. "

Waryaa coolpoison naagta u raaxee sxb, hadaad si fiican in the bedroom ugu raaxeysid she will never question any of your affairs. soo iibso buuga la yidhaahdo "karma surta" ee ku tusaya noocyada looga ciyaarsiiyo,oo si fiican uga shaqee
Kick in the door waving the four four sow maad maqlin:

let your wife manage your lacag the same way she manages your Xiiniyo wa iska caadi

Dunida waxan ugu jeclahay naag gacanteeda dheer surwaalgeyda dhex galisa

What is big deal about cleaning in the bathroom and kitchen, in fact as a man you have better physical and strength to do those types of chores, cleaning is part of your life just like you clean your mouth and body every day the house must be cleaned too.

I don’t mind cleaning the entire home if that will make her happy that is very simple, if you divorce your wife and become single again who is going to do the cleaning of your new apartment or you will go back and live your mama’s basement

For the case of her demanding to control your salary and financials it is little too far, as long as the guy is paying all the bills and gives her personal shopping that is fair, but if that is what is going to clear her suspicion and will save your marriage I will say go and make joint account with her.

Number one reason wives want to know how much their husbands make is lack of confidence, women in general believe this myth of if the man has good job and have money left in his account he will start looking other women

there is no point
in staying with someone who doesn't want
you.

I don't know how everyone missed that it is his wife demanding the divorce. I bet this is not the first time she requested a divorce either. Waraa there is something you are not telling us. It looks like your wife does not like you at all. Get rid of her. The longer you stay with her after she requested a divorce the more she will try to abuse you. I know it is not cool to put your kid through a divorce but you have no better option bro. If she does not care about the kid and is willing to put him through divorce then she will probably be no good to the kid if she continues to be married to you either nor will she ever treat you better or respect you. Divorce is your only solution.

She is threatening to divorce him

Move out, taking a break in a relationship can save the relationship, she will feel lonely and depressed