SomaliNet Forums

Gedo-girl, yeah UK people are a bit weird, very rigid in the religion. They seem to be very dogmatic. I consider myself very conservative, but more liberal than what Murax stated (wouldn't mind her working even with kids).

I was reading this interesting thread on a phone application, so i decided to log onto the laptop just to say,












































































































YOU'RE OLD!!! YOU'RE OLD!! YOU'RE OLD!!!!

sadeboi wrote:Gedo-Girl,

I fully understand you and murax, although some would say I have no reason to be since I am much younger. The even more depressing part is being an extremely mature man in a young man's body. I found myself very disconnected much of time from my peers and the lives of those older than me. Their relationships, marriages, and notions of life simply do not impress me, I see it as being forever tormented if I am to end up like that; I would go through the days thinking 'it is a test from Allah'. Generally, I look at this point in my life as a stagnant, with only hopes of better days to soothe my soul. The lack of desire to attain intellectual/spiritual enlightenment is prevalent in our society; but absence in us in humility and patience.

Wow, I have had those feelings too put you have put it far more eloquently than I would ever be able to. There is a flip side, at least you know what it is you want in your life. You've realised that a certain lifestyle isnt for you and hopefully you know why. There is, however, no excuse for stagnation at your age. There are plenty of things which you can do to enhance your life, pinnacles to reach and be excited about. Just because you've achieved a lot when you're young doesnt mean its all you could hope to achieve.

You are in the middle way, which is the best way.

Sadeboi,

The reason I wouldn't want My Wife working fulltime with Kids, is because I don't trust this day care bullshid, nor do I trust the staff of one. Now if there were alternatives like family babysitters, etc. then Wallahi I'm cool. My Mom went to school and Has Her Masters while My Dad was working, but I had My Mom's Sisters who were home with Me and were living in our house.

Murax wrote:Gedogurl,

Okay, woow UK folks don't play marka. As a Yankee Xaliimo You would actually be considered typical and not feminist at all

Inshallah Ilaahay ha ku sahlo nin fiican. No matter what, both parties will have to bend a tad bit to accommodate the the other party. A give and take. The girls have to realize that this career stuff is overrated. Career is just a fancy way of saying making a living, if You have a living without a career then what makes the career all that? Theres no shame in rearing Your kids and nurturing them if Your Husband is able and wiling to provide. For the guys the also have to look themselves in the mirror. A lot of them wanna go for the 'Sunnah game' have their wife at home and not work yet be dependent on welfare and Government housing. Both sides need to be realistic about their expectations vs situation.

Murax I am a feminist and its usually private until someone really treads on me.

Amiin InshaAllah and the equivalent for you too inshaAllah. I live in hope that I wont have to reside in this paradigm where the words 'career' and 'woman' are even in the slightest bit, contentious when placed together. I want to marry an intellectual and raise well mannered and smart kids. If I'm honest I'll probably be single and raise adopted kids if that doesnt come my way. Marrying someone with such a different outlook to mine is too sad and depressing to bear.

gedo_gurl wrote:

Murax wrote:Gedogurl,

Okay, woow UK folks don't play marka. As a Yankee Xaliimo You would actually be considered typical and not feminist at all

Inshallah Ilaahay ha ku sahlo nin fiican. No matter what, both parties will have to bend a tad bit to accommodate the the other party. A give and take. The girls have to realize that this career stuff is overrated. Career is just a fancy way of saying making a living, if You have a living without a career then what makes the career all that? Theres no shame in rearing Your kids and nurturing them if Your Husband is able and wiling to provide. For the guys the also have to look themselves in the mirror. A lot of them wanna go for the 'Sunnah game' have their wife at home and not work yet be dependent on welfare and Government housing. Both sides need to be realistic about their expectations vs situation.

Murax I am a feminist and its usually private until someone really treads on me.

Amiin InshaAllah and the equivalent for you too inshaAllah. I live in hope that I wont have to reside in this paradigm where the words 'career' and 'woman' are even in the slightest bit, contentious when placed together. I want to marry an intellectual and raise well mannered and smart kids. If I'm honest I'll probably be single and raise adopted kids if that doesnt come my way. Marrying someone with such a different outlook to mine is too sad and depressing to bear.

Ameen. At the same time though, from a realistic perspective how much of an impact can a Mom have on Her kids working those 40 hour work weeks? Is it possible? Absolutely But She has to have two things: A tireless energy about Her and HELP as in extended family, inlaws or whatever.

At the end of the day, even if the mum is at home, its about quality time together. I know mums who stay at home but they watch TV with the kids and then spend the rest of the time on the phone with a friend/relative and bark orders at the kids to clean up and do homework. Thats not raising a child is it? Everyone finds their feet after the kids come anyway, regardless of what you plan before it.

Gedo, you seem like a competitor yet you seem to be looking back. Look at life like a Sport, you get a bad call or you make a bad shot; if you get emotional about that or overally concerned you going to mess up the next play and before you know it you ruined the rest of the game. Look ahead and never look back, always your next play and next mission in life and before you know it you will get where Allah swt destined for you toooo

Good luck

1nemansquad wrote:Gedo, you seem like a competitor yet you seem to be looking back. Look at life like a Sport, you get a bad call or you make a bad shot; if you get emotional about that or overally concerned you going to mess up the next play and before you know it you ruined the rest of the game. Look ahead and never look back, always your next play and next mission in life and before you know it you will get where Allah swt destined for you toooo

Good luck

Thanks walaal. That was on point.

I'm not going to lie I fear aging at the moment, because I know that I'm walking towards my death, and I want to achieve a purpose, the burning thought is, have I done it?

Depends what the dream is!

The sad thing about being a human is that nothing is ever enough. We always have pointless regrets and chase the biggest dreams. I thought I achieved what I wanted and then I just kept raising the bar higher and higher. If I ever get that PhD I think I'll want to be a billionaire next and then a queen after that. SubxanaAllah shaytaan keeps me busy. May Allah swt never allow us to forge our higher purpose. Amiin.

Gedogirl-

Imagine if you weren't educated and worldly and could easily be satisfied by a mundane lifestyle of typical Somali marriage and a brood to take care of (even though Children are a blessing) with a typical Somali guy for a husband? The reason you are so reflective is because you are not easily satisfied which is a testament to the development of your mind and skills. I think you have a lot to celebrate.

Personally, I put a lot of value into positive thinking. As cliche as it sounds I can only look at myself and my experience and in that I have countlessly tested myself to see how I react emotionally, intellectually, and productivity wise to positive vs. negative thinking.

Let me ask you a question: when you notice a particular type of car do you see it all day? I certainly do.

The reason is our thoughts are powerful and thought is energy; it is the smallest form of energy. If you think a negative though, you project negative energy and if you think a positive thought, you project a positive energy. A thought is never destroyed, energy is never destroyed. The only way you can counteract negative thought if you do think it is to replace it with a positive one.

Before you go like, what??? Look at it this way...if you are in debt and you watch a commercial about credit....you have two options:

1.) you can think negatively by remembering how you are debt and lament how you cannot afford credit, and then go on to thinking all the things you will not be able to do with being in debt and how hard it is to get out of it and constrained you will feel that year without credit....essentially making yourself depressed

or

2.) you can say oh great it will be wonderful when i am able to have credit again, looking forward to debt free life while have the financial security to live your best life and be able to do all the things you can...essentially giving yourself hope and something to look forward to and greater motivation for getting out of debt

What I am saying is...if you look at yourself being 28 and lament about being old at that small age and about things you don't have yet, you should not be surprised if you do feel old or find it hard to attain the things you feel is missing.

If however you look at 28 as being a twenty's something age for a professional younger woman with a world class education who has secured the foundations of her life towards great success and great skills to provide to the world impacting so many people including her future family with experiences of a life time incurred and more to look forward to in coming years...then chances are you will continue to progress in life being confident in your state

What you think about your life merely reflects the nature of your thought. Think positive and you will feel positive; there is tremendous scientific basis for this.

p.s. Do not complain. If you are a habitual complainer, start by limiting down greatly. If you are a somewhat complainer, learn not to complain at all. Everytime you feel like complaining, thinking about things to be proud about.

Amiin. I really think you have achieved what most people want. The only thing left is your own family and progressing in the deen (I don't believe this ever ends, there's always something new we can learn or do [a sunnah])

Mainly, my biggest fear is the dembi, have I done enough? Dying with riba. I think if I feel like my worship is progressing and I'm debt free, then I can breathe a bit. Laakin, I also want the 'good' the world offers, education, love, family, friendship, comfortable-living...I think if we had all of that, we'd be satisfied. Well I hope so. iA

I think we hate stagnation as humans. It gets us down.

*whoops* The Republic!

I have read your post with a lot of attention sis and I really enjoyed reading about your outlook on life. Its uplifting and your friends and family are lucky to have you. I did notice the car thing (recently its a white Fiat 500 lol). I read a lot and I work hard but I take it for granted, like everyone else. Its like how we walk and rarely think of those who cant. I dont see myself as particularly educated because all my friends are high achievers, maybe thats why I feel this way. You know whats funny, I was at my happiest when I was practising the diin hard before uni and even serious work. I lived for the discovery and thought of ajar. Thank you for reminding me. More diin is really the only thing I need right now.

Veiled gambasaar

My friend sent me a hadith the other day and it said 'the atonement of sin is regret' or something to that affect. I hope Allah swt forgives you and that you never return to whatever the sin is. I hope Allah swt forgives the riba too but I doubt you placed it on a debt or are even getting it unless you are rich. Sadly you're probably just paying it off but Allah swt will forgive that because you'd be breaking the law otherwise. InshaAllah you will be forgiven.

I know what I really need in terms of lifestyle; a new country. It gives you that spark to get up early in the morning and explore, learn new things and new ways of thinking. I hope I get my deadlines/work stuff done so taht I can make that possible in the near future i.A.