Choosing a friend

[AyeeyoH]

SALAAM


Choosing a Friend

Raulullah (saws) has said, "A person is on the creed of his friend. Therefore a person should see who he is affiliated with". (Abu Dawud) In other words, if his friend is pious, he will also be pious, if he is pious, he is sure to be the same. Hence, the irreligiousness of his friend is a cause for his irreligiousness and the piety of his friend is a cause for his piety.
This is the gist of this hadith. A person should ponder over his friendship and contemplate that the person whom I have selected as a friend, in terms of religiousness and piety, is he worth befriending or not?

Think about the importance people attach to this topic, Nothing whatsoever! Let alone the worldly minded, even those that are referred to as religious are unmindful of this religious injunction. The "religions minded" who. other than Salah, Zakat, Hajj etc., are extremely keen on performing other optional devotions such as recitation of the Qur'an, nafl salah and so forth and they are considered to be great saints but none of them except a few arc really concerned about the company they keep. None of them consider a pious friend as important and beneficial nor do they regard evil company as detrimental. How strange that we believe in contagious diseases but we don't believe in this!

Nonetheless, the point is that in regards to the contagiousness of certain diseases which are neither established nor convincing, such orecautions are taken that people avoid visiting the patients and also protect their children from being exposed to the disease. But the sickness that is eternal, i.e. the evil effects of bad company, no degree of vigilance whatsoever is awarded to it.

Meeting in this context refers to intimate and looselv acquainted meetings. At times, coming into contact with others is inevitable e.g. in the market place, one meets all types of people. Such encounters are exempted (from our discussion). Only closely acquainted and intimate meetings are referred to in this discussion. This is why Rasulullah (saws) used the phrase ''upon the creed of his friend". 'Friend' is a reference to a close and intimate companion. Do people pay due regard to the type of people they come into contact with? Do they ever contemplate over the piety or the irreligiousness of their companions?

We see that people pursue all avenues for the success of their children. Some give them secular education; some impart religious education while others ensure that their children acquire some skill or profession. If their children fall ill. thousands of dollars are spent on their medical costs. In short, alt our money, luxuries and comforts are sacrificed in favor of our children. But do we ever sacrifice a fraction of the child's life or a month every year or at least one week to enable the child to spiritually enhance his character in the company of a pious person?

Therefore, just as how the parents employ a tutor or master for the education of their children, at the same time, it is imperative upon them to pursue a patron (guardian saint). They should send their children to him every now and again and bear the expenses etc. of sending them as well. How many Muslims have made concrete arrangements in this regard? The main reason for such indolence and negligence is that people have failed lo grasp the in dispensability and importance of this matter.

The above mentioned hadiih establishes the importance of choosing a friend. From the sentence "Every man should ponder..." any person well versed with the Arabic language can deduce that two things can be established. The first is: "seek pious company" and the second is: "refrain from evil company'. Now we should examine our own religious condition. Our present religious condition is such that every single one of us is content with the little piety that he has without any intention of progressing.

If anyone accepts the indispensability of religious progress, he should also search for the factors contributing to this religious enhancement. It won't just come about by wishful thinking. Just as there is a teacher for every subject, similarly there are guides in this field as well. Progress in religion can be achieved in their company.

Experience has proven that there is a greater need for pious company than llm (knowledge). This is why we see that people, who have been in the company of pious saints, are far better than those knowledgeable people who lack the company of the pious.

Another reason for us relinquishing the pious company of the saints is our pride. We are under the notion that we are in no need for another human being like ourselves, tn other words, we have no inclination to pursue pious company. Even if we do seek pious company, it is for worldly gains. The pursuit of worldly gain from religious people is a gross error indeed. Only religious benefit should be the motive behind the pursuit of pious company.

In short, the pursuit of pious company is extremely important. Every person should review the company he keeps and he should abandon evil company and seek pious company. A poet says:

"A thousand friends who are not affiliated to Allah (swt), their lives can be laid down for a lone stranger who is familiar with Allah' .

If anyone encounters irreligiousness amongst his friends, I don't advocate that he should abandon them. Employ tact and wisdom. For example, tell them; "Brother! From today I've become regular with my salah. If you are my friend, then you should also start performing your salah regularly". If he seems adamant in spite of frequent admonishments and planning, then he should be left alone because there is no hope of solicitude and care from a person who is disobedient to Allah. On the other hand, if he continues affiliating with him, he will be considered in the same light. These are the repercussions of joining irreligious company. Our sense of honor and concern for what we should have been defending has vanished.

The first effect of evil company is the sense of indifference towards evil builds up, while the effect of pious company is that a person realizes his shortfalls, he regards evil to be evil and gradually all evil traits lend to fade away. The impact of the company one keeps is such that he is bound to change according to the nature of his companion. As a Persian poet says:

A pious companion will make you pious while an evil companion will make you evil".

As far as possible, refrain from an evil friend because an evil companion is more fatal than a venomous snake, A venomous snake is only a threat to life but an evil friend is a threat to both lives and Imaan. A little while in the company of the saints is belter than a thousand years of sincere ibaadah. He, who longs for the companionship of Allah should seek the
company of the Friends of Allah.
.
Pious company is obviously belter than solitude. However, if pious company is not available, then solitude is imperative. This is the basic principle in this regard. Many people have become fanatics over the issue of solitude without taking into account the aforementioned principle. What a wonderful way, I reply to such fanatics. I say: "O you who give unconditional preference to solitude over socializing! Don't you realize that you ascertained the benefits of solitude only through socializing? So how dare you give preference to solitude over socializing'?

However, if an area lacks pious people, solitude is the best remedy. Even in solitude, don't sit idle. Read the stories of the saints and courageous people. It would create an effect similar to that of sitting in the company of the pious.

Study those books which deal with the courage of the saints as well as books which deal with the spiritual remedies for the eradication of evil habits. The studying of such books will be highly beneficial. However, don't purchase the books without consulting the Ulamaa. Request them to make a selection of books. In short, this is a method of (spiritual) reformation which doesn't entail much physical exertion nor will it affect one's worldly activities.

For Allah's sake, take more pity on your children. The storm of atheism has engulfed the present generation . One has to be very careful. Ensure that you prevent your children from joining bad company and seek pious company for them. Instead of your children loitering about during the school hoidays, send them to the saints. If pious company is unavailable, abstain them from bad company at least.

By now, i am confident you understand the reality of pious company. Let us now vow, as from this day onwards, to pursue pious friends only and develop this habit within us. [This is an abridged version of Shaikh's lecture.

By Shaikh Ashraf Ali.

[Hyperactive]

salam grandy.
i dont have time to read all that
just try to divide it in a few posts.

[AyeeyoH]

Read it when you have time ayeeyo, i was glad that i could post the whole article without error ...i dont have time eithr to divide it to so many posts marka amba akhri amba dee isaga tag..no force here....but it's good read indeed this sunday morning.

salaam

[Hyperactive]

ma aqrin and i know no force here you want pwople to benfit of it or you just post for heck of it?

for you is sunday off
for me is weekdays granny.

[AyeeyoH]

Hyper

The truth is most of the members dont give a shit about this kinda topics..hadii aan so bandhigi lahaa somthing about sex believe me this thread would have been 5 pages by now. Marka dadkani lagama yaabana inay akhiriyaan so why would i do so much efforts by dividing it...if they are interested they will read it hadi kalena cidhibta ha ku dhuftaan..meshan wax qasab la yeraah ma jirto...I dont post anymore islamic topics because it will end up in the bottom thats why i post in the islamic section nowdays.

[Hyperactive]

lol i cannot talk for others but aniga i cannot read long artical in english.
nothing wrong about long articals in english, it's just my english is limited.

[AyeeyoH]

hyper

I changed the whole topic just for you......It's easier shorter and most pple cant benefit from it.

Adyooooos qado karis baa ii sugaya....baasto iyo duqad.

[Hyperactive]

thank you dear.
i dont like pasta, i accually hate the maraq.
im bedoiun i only eat white rice and laban 3eyraan with tamar.
yummy.lol
you're good girl, you cook for your family.
my sisters tea hatta ma sameynayan. i would beat them up but my father would beat me too.lol

[AyeeyoH]

lool, @ beat them up, i used to cook since i was 11 hyper so i'm used to it...the will learn ..just give them time and no beating.

salaam.