For all of you who appreciate language...this is wonderful!>>>>> You Think English is Easy???
>>>>>
>>>>> Can you read these right and fast the first time? 1) The bandage was
>>>>> wound around the wound. 2) The farm was used to produce produce . 3)
>>>>> The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse. 4) We must
>>>>> polish the Polish furniture. 5) He could lead if he would get the lead
>>>>> out. 6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert. 7)
>>>>> Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to
>>>>> present the present . 8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass
>>>>> drum. 9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes. 10) I did not
>>>>> object to the object. 11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
>>>>> 12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row . 13) They were
>>>>> too close to the door to close it. 14) The buck does funny things when
>>>>> the does are present. 15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a
>>>>> sewer line. 16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to
>>>>> sow. 17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail. 18) Upon seeing the
>>>>> tear in the painting I shed a tear. 19) I had to subject the subject to
>>>>> a series of tests. 20) How can I intimate this to my most intimate
>>>>> friend? Let's face it - English is a crazy language. There is no egg in
>>>>> eggplant, nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple.
>>>>> English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France .
>>>>> Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat.
>>>>> We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find
>>>>> that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea
>>>>> pig
>>>>> is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. And why is it that writers
>>>>> write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't
>>>>> groce and hammers don't ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't
>>>>> the plural of booth, beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So, one moose, 2
>>>>> meese? One index, 2 indices? Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make
>>>>> amends but not one amend? If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get
>>>>> rid of all but one of them, what do you call it? If teachers taught,
>>>>> why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats
>>>>> vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? Sometimes I think all the
>>>>> English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally
>>>>> insane. In what language do people recite at a play and play at a
>>>>> recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and
>>>>> feet that smell? How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same,
>>>>> while a wise man and
>>>>> a wise guy are opposites? You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a
>>>>> language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you
>>>>> fill in a form by filling it out and in which, an alarm goes off by
>>>>> going on. English was invented by people, not computers, and it
>>>>> reflects the
>>>>> creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all.
>>>>> That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the
>>>>> lights are out, they are invisible. PS. - Why doesn't "Buick" rhyme
>>>>> with "quick" You lovers of the English language might enjoy this .
>>>>> There is a two-letter word that perhaps has more meanings than any
>>>>> other
>>>>> two-letter word, and that is "UP." It's easy to understand UP , meaning
>>>>> toward the sky or at the top of the
>>>>> list, but when we awaken in the morning, why do we wake UP ? At a
>>>>> meeting, why does a topic come UP ? Why do we speak UP and why are the
>>>>> officers UP for election and why is it UP to the secretary to write UP
>>>>> a
>>>>> report ? We call UP our friends. And we use it to brighten UP a room,
>>>>> polish UP
>>>>> the silver, we warm UP the leftovers and clean UPthe kitchen. We lock
>>>>> UP
>>>>> the house and some guys fix UP the old car . At other times the little
>>>>> word has real special meaning. People stir UP trouble, line UP for
>>>>> tickets, work UP an appetite, and think UP excuses. To be dressed is
>>>>> one
>>>>> thing but to be dressed UP is special. And this UP is confusing: A
>>>>> drain must be opened UP because it is
>>>>> stopped UP . We open UP a store in the morning but we close it UP at
>>>>> night. We seem to be pretty mixed UP about UP ! To be knowledgeable
>>>>> about the
>>>>> proper uses of UP , look the word UP in the dictionary. In a desk-sized
>>>>> dictionary, it takes UP almost 1/4th of the page and can add UP to
>>>>> about
>>>>> thirty definitions. If you are UP to it, you might try building UP a
>>>>> list of the many ways UP is used. It will take UP a lot of your time,
>>>>> but if you don't give UP , you may wind UP with a hundred or more. When
>>>>> it threatens to rain, we say it is clouding UP . When the sun comes out
>>>>> we say it is clearing UP . When it rains, it wets the earth and often
>>>>> messes things UP When it doesn't rain for awhile, things dry UP . One
>>>>> could go on and on, but I'll wrap it UP , for now my time is UP,
>>>>> so......... Time to shut UP ! Oh...one more thing: What is the first
>>>>> thing you do in the morning & the last thing you do at
>>>>> night? U-P
>>>>>
