Lonely at the top
Posted: Mon Nov 02, 2009 11:56 pm
Salams all,
Earlier had a profound discussion with a cousin of mine over telephone and it moved me beyond anything. It made me feel lonely and drawback. Folks, those here with that untamed passion, untamed greed, meticulous, ego and obsession whatever it maybe, do you at times feel really lonely to the point of physical pain manifestations. I am having one of those moments now here, at work at midnight all by myself in a damned city. Let´s be honest standing all by myself facing another day and enduring another day isn´t an option alone. Mediocrity and complacency alone will never work, rather upping the ante to another notch becomes a compulsion for some. Kinda like alpha ego, primadonna thing & you have put on this attitude and
fake camouflage that you know is expected of you at work, life and you have this opportunity to do it everyday and stay ahead of the game. Has this had a negative backlash among colleagues, socalled friends and world folks in general, maybe even made you paranoid to the extent you percieve and is probably true that everyone is watching over every move of yours & waiting for you to slip!
I am sorry for being all emotional here, but walahi looking at it candidly now made me quite and morose. Its like I only developed didactic micromanaged lifestyle and geared towards one goal. No social life at all, besides few hobbies which ironically includes avoiding everyone and swimming all by myself. Heck I eat at fancy restaurants by myself. Do anyone of you even go to the extent of calling an escort to walk you through that boring cocktail luncheon or dinner and dont bother making some socalled ´friends´ not that I actually believe friendship exists at all. Am I happy? I would like to think so. Alhamdulilah, I am to a large extent on my track and have done wonderfully well for myself and I hope made my parents proud.
Why all this jargon, you see this cousin of mine is living the decent average lifestyle, married with a kid, 30 and looks happy and all. Heck dude is happy or atleast seems like it even though he´s been out of work for past 11 months. Am I this miserable? I think I would have lost it if I were out of work for a month let alone 11.
How far would you go to achieve your worldly goal? How often do you call home, parents, siblings? Do you like human beings in general and would you rather see all work and enslave for you?
What a shitty & phucked up midnight breakdown here.
Earlier had a profound discussion with a cousin of mine over telephone and it moved me beyond anything. It made me feel lonely and drawback. Folks, those here with that untamed passion, untamed greed, meticulous, ego and obsession whatever it maybe, do you at times feel really lonely to the point of physical pain manifestations. I am having one of those moments now here, at work at midnight all by myself in a damned city. Let´s be honest standing all by myself facing another day and enduring another day isn´t an option alone. Mediocrity and complacency alone will never work, rather upping the ante to another notch becomes a compulsion for some. Kinda like alpha ego, primadonna thing & you have put on this attitude and
fake camouflage that you know is expected of you at work, life and you have this opportunity to do it everyday and stay ahead of the game. Has this had a negative backlash among colleagues, socalled friends and world folks in general, maybe even made you paranoid to the extent you percieve and is probably true that everyone is watching over every move of yours & waiting for you to slip!
I am sorry for being all emotional here, but walahi looking at it candidly now made me quite and morose. Its like I only developed didactic micromanaged lifestyle and geared towards one goal. No social life at all, besides few hobbies which ironically includes avoiding everyone and swimming all by myself. Heck I eat at fancy restaurants by myself. Do anyone of you even go to the extent of calling an escort to walk you through that boring cocktail luncheon or dinner and dont bother making some socalled ´friends´ not that I actually believe friendship exists at all. Am I happy? I would like to think so. Alhamdulilah, I am to a large extent on my track and have done wonderfully well for myself and I hope made my parents proud.
Why all this jargon, you see this cousin of mine is living the decent average lifestyle, married with a kid, 30 and looks happy and all. Heck dude is happy or atleast seems like it even though he´s been out of work for past 11 months. Am I this miserable? I think I would have lost it if I were out of work for a month let alone 11.
How far would you go to achieve your worldly goal? How often do you call home, parents, siblings? Do you like human beings in general and would you rather see all work and enslave for you?
What a shitty & phucked up midnight breakdown here.
