how do you define 'leading on'?

1_londoner · Post by **1_londoner** » Thu Jan 13, 2011 3:28 pm

When the wrong guy approaches you...I don't know how to phrase it without sounding horrible but by the wrong guy I mean, err...a nice chap but you don't feel 'that way' about him. Let's just say he's not you're type. Right okay. Lol, anyway..so this fella who's not ur type approaches you and because you're too nice to tell him you're not interested, you let him just carry on talking. At the end of the convo it gets to that bit where he wants your number. You then say something along the lines of "Nah, you're alright" (aka "No, you're not getting my number). Would you say you were leading him on during the whole sheeko making him think you were actually interested? What about if during that whole convo he was doing all the talking and you were basically just answering his questions without really contributing anything and you did that so he could take the hint. Hint being: I don't really want to talk to you. Is that wrong and should just reject him early on?

Oh and if you do reject him, eventually, and you see him again somewhere... Is it still 'leading on' if you smile and say hello (he'll think he still has a chance but you're just being friendly).

Yoousef · Post by **Yoousef** » Thu Jan 13, 2011 3:37 pm

1_londoner wrote:When the wrong guy approaches you...I don't know how to phrase it without sounding horrible but by the wrong guy I mean, err...a nice chap but you don't feel 'that way' about him. Let's just say he's not you're type. Right okay. Lol, anyway..so this fella who's not ur type approaches you and because you're too nice to tell him you're not interested, you let him just carry on talking. At the end of the convo it gets to that bit where he wants your number. You then say something along the lines of "Nah, you're alright" (aka "No, you're not getting my number). Would you say you were leading him on during the whole sheeko making him think you were actually interested? What about if during that whole convo he was doing all the talking and you were basically just answering his questions without really contributing anything and you did that so he could take the hint. Hint being: I don't really want to talk to you. Is that wrong and should just reject him early on?

Oh and if you do reject him, eventually, and you see him again somewhere... Is it still 'leading on' if you smile and say hello (he'll think he still has a chance but you're just being friendly).

Their all Mean scenarios. Somali women

1_londoner · Post by **1_londoner** » Thu Jan 13, 2011 3:43 pm

Forget to add to the last bit, he smiled and said hello first so you were basically just returning it. That is far from mean...you can't ignore someone markey kula hadleeyaan.

Yoousef · Post by **Yoousef** » Thu Jan 13, 2011 3:46 pm

1_londoner wrote:Forget to add to the last bit, he smiled and said hello first so you were basically just returning it. That is far from mean...you can't ignore someone markey kula hadleeyaan.

Cadaan women are friendly, nice and beautiful. Somali women are rude and have poor social values*

*Not all most.

BlackVelvet · Post by **BlackVelvet** » Thu Jan 13, 2011 4:21 pm

If you do the point blank "I'm not interested" before he says anything he'll probably go on a trip about how he was just making convo and you're full of yourself blah blah blah trying to salvage his ego. Damned if you do, damned if you don't.

It's not leading them on if you let them talk, it's being polite imo. But some of them are just creeps and don't deserve the courtesy, others are iska caadi and once in a while you get the really interesting guys. Just because you do or don't have a conversation with a person doesn't mean you owe them your phone number.

DisplacedDiraac · Post by **DisplacedDiraac** » Thu Jan 13, 2011 4:56 pm

I wouldn't call that leading on.. You was just trying to be nice.. I've done the same..

But according to males you were leading him on!!

Keyse_0208 · Post by **Keyse_0208** » Thu Jan 13, 2011 5:07 pm

1_londoner wrote:so this fella who's not ur type approaches you and because you're too nice to tell him you're not interested, you let him just carry on talking.

you are guilty of leading him on, cuz if u wasnt intrested in him u wouldnt have time to sit there or stand there listening to his story, u would've just said "Hi" and "Bye" u could have made an excuse to leave or even lied that u was in a rush, the question is what made u wait all that time listening to his story

guilty guilty guilty... u deserve 3 years and 6 months in womens prison

1_londoner · Post by **1_londoner** » Thu Jan 13, 2011 5:13 pm

BlackVelvet wrote:If you do the point blank "I'm not interested" before he says anything he'll probably go on a trip about how he was just making convo and you're full of yourself blah blah blah trying to salvage his ego. Damned if you do, damned if you don't.
.

Exactly. Horta what is with that? Why do fellas get so angry when cut them off and tell 'em how it is before sheekododa galan? Do they feel better when you waste their time with meanless chatter that they know will not amount to anything rather than letting them down early on?

1_londoner · Post by **1_londoner** » Thu Jan 13, 2011 5:27 pm

West, right...its their own fault if they mistake being nice with being interested.

Lol, keyse... I listened because I can't to the whole 'rolling ur eyes take a hike warya' thing at the beginning...

plus, I'm not good a making up lies on the spot.

BlackVelvet · Post by **BlackVelvet** » Thu Jan 13, 2011 5:32 pm

Keyse has a point though, if you're waiting for/in the bus, waiting for/in the train, waiting in a shop etc then you have no choice but to listen even if you're not interested lakin if you're walking or doing whatever then to stop and take the time to listen to what he has to stay when you know it's not going anywhere is a bit on the leading on side of things.

It's like those charity people on the high street. If you know you're not going to sign up and you don't want them trying to change your mind just walk on by. Save your time as well as theirs.

grandpakhalif · Post by **grandpakhalif** » Thu Jan 13, 2011 5:45 pm

You should just said I'm married

Warsan_Star_Muslimah · Thu Jan 13, 2011 5:49 pm

Salaam Londoner,

Remember the persistent person? What happened to him horta?

I think what you did was not 'leading on' subahnaAllah these guys are definitely out of their loopy heads these days! They will chat to you and you reply back cause you deem it to be rude not to, or in other cases 'dangerous' (his off his head). Then during the convo somewhere they say how Somali girls are 'too rude' these days cause they think 'their all that' and that every guy who speaks to them is not after them. You being a sop believe his story, but at the end of the convo (you gotta go your separate ways, at some point) he asks for your number?

When you say no, he then says are you married? No, but I still don't want to give you my number!! [At this point I am forced to lie about having no mobile, praying that no one calls you]

Oh my goodness, the FOB ones ask you what is your qabiil?

After telling them, they go, 'Oh my, thats my mum's qabiil,' (not in english ofcourse) then he gushes on to say, 'Your mum would so love me, our qabiils get on finely,' and your thinking I beg to differ saqadyahow, wasaqyahow, my mum would definitely not be cool with you!

Then finally, you are puzzled as to how could any 'Qabil-Aunty' of yours give birth to such weirdo! Okay, I admit it is very well possible.

1_londoner wrote: Oh and if you do reject him, eventually, and you see him again somewhere... Is it still 'leading on' if you smile and say hello (he'll think he still has a chance but you're just being friendly).

Okay, now it could be leading on naaya, this is a no no!

Smile aa? I pray I never see them again or pretend I don't know them.

I honestly am never really rude to people, (ignore the really bit) from old ladies, to females, to males...even to those 'kuute luvley wuugey looking puppies' (I hate them bulldogs pitt-bulls, whatever the heck their called but not named - beasts)

Yoousef · Post by **Yoousef** » Thu Jan 13, 2011 5:57 pm

Somali women sound rude

especially the one above

Post by **SultanOrder** » Thu Jan 13, 2011 5:59 pm

Naw, I mean usually it's girls who give you some kinda hint, like they'll bring out their phone and look at you and smile. Then you make your move. Or they'll will use their next opportunity to find you and say hello first and come up to you, or they use facebook. I mean it's easy to tell if a girl wants to get to know you.

Them other guys are just lame markaas, I wouldn't feel bad for them, trying for everything that moves and talks.

DisplacedDiraac · Post by **DisplacedDiraac** » Thu Jan 13, 2011 6:02 pm

Warsan_Star_Muslimah wrote: When you say no, he then says are you married? No, but I still don't want to give you my number!!

Honestly its safer all around just to tell them straight up that you're married!! Majority of them would bounce!

But if he's an Ajanabi I act like I cant speak English..

But Some still will not leave you alone

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