arrange marriages need to be abondoned

[metamorphosis]

What is the point of marrying a girl to a guy she absolutely despises? This trend has been a barbaric custom of ours, but its now being renewed. Somali parents have developed new tactics to make even the most stubborn girls capitualate. all they do is say”dua and blessing choose one” and girls being the poor humanas they are, always choose ”dua” even if its at the expense of their happiness.

[greenday]

Somalida uma badno dhaqankaan

[Xamud.]

Arranged marriage iyo forced marriage waa labo wax oo kala duwaan, haadi labo qof lays baro oo ay is fahman, ama inti laysku dhiso ay is ogolyihiin why not?

[Ladyyonelove]

For the record there is nothing wrong with arranged marriages but I agree with xamud there is a difference between arranged marriages and forcedd marriages saaxib lol

[PrinceDaadi]

marriage is a partnership, it doesnt matter how u ment if u can get along well.

[Shirib]

Arranged marriages are statistically proven to work better than other marriages. Majority of our forefathers were in arranged marriages.

Arranged and forced is different, do you mean forced marriages?

[UlteriorMotive]

What is the point of marrying a girl to a guy she absolutely despises?

How is this arranged marriage?

Do your parents despise each other?

How about your grandparents?

[salool]

Arranged marriages are great, it saves you alot of time and headaches.Other pple do all the work for you.

[metamorphosis]

Arranged marriage iyo forced marriage waa labo wax oo kala duwaan, haadi labo qof lays baro oo ay is fahman, ama inti laysku dhiso ay is ogolyihiin why not?

True.. I suppose i better reword this.

[Landerious]

Somali parents might introduce suitors to each other, but don't do the 'marry thee or die' thing. That's an Asian thing

[Lamagoodle]

What is the point of marrying a girl to a guy she absolutely despises? This trend has been a barbaric custom of ours, but its now being renewed. Somali parents have developed new tactics to make even the most stubborn girls capitualate. all they do is say”dua and blessing choose one” and girls being the poor humanas they are, always choose ”dua” even if its at the expense of their happiness.

Metamorphosis,
Not a bad idea but who is going to wed all the ladies plus the garoobs?

As long as women are dependent on men this might be the best arrangement.

[AhmedBoqor]

Arranged marriage iyo forced marriage waa labo wax oo kala duwaan, haadi labo qof lays baro oo ay is fahman, ama inti laysku dhiso ay is ogolyihiin why not?

Right on. This is not just a Somali tradition, its the Islamic way. People nowadays associate arranged and forced marriages as one in the same, when they're not.

[metamorphosis]

What is the point of marrying a girl to a guy she absolutely despises? This trend has been a barbaric custom of ours, but its now being renewed. Somali parents have developed new tactics to make even the most stubborn girls capitualate. all they do is say”dua and blessing choose one” and girls being the poor humanas they are, always choose ”dua” even if its at the expense of their happiness.

Metamorphosis,
Not a bad idea but who is going to wed all the ladies plus the garoobs?

As long as women are dependent on men this might be the best arrangement.

I am talking about someone getting forced to someone they have never met. Arranged is hook up but this is Force.

[Lamagoodle]

Meta,
First and foremost, arranged marriages are common in many societies; some of it has to do with preserving "honour" and could result in henious crimes; such as honour killings ( I call it dishonour killings). That is common in the middle east and east asia.

In our culture so called honour killings is unheard of.

In the somali culture arranged marriages are conducted in the countryside and uncommon in towns. In the old days, a girl who said no to an arrange marriage was refered to as "Geesxir". In most cases there were some advantages. There is always a way out (most parents will cancel the arrange marriage if the daughter says no).

At the heart of arrange marriages are economic dependency. Once women are emancipated through work/property then it will disappear.

[metamorphosis]

Meta,
First and foremost, arranged marriages are common in many societies; some of it has to do with preserving "honour" and could result in henious crimes; such as honour killings ( I call it dishonour killings). That is common in the middle east and east asia.

In our culture so called honour killings is unheard of.

In the somali culture arranged marriages are conducted in the countryside and uncommon in towns. In the old days, a girl who said no to an arrange marriage was refered to as "Geesxir". In most cases there were some advantages. There is always a way out (most parents will cancel the arrange marriage if the daughter says no).

At the heart of arrange marriages are economic dependency. Once women are emancipated through work/property then it will disappear.

I am not arguing that arrange marriages are necessarily bad.. I am attacking the idea of forced marriage. For example, a friend of mine whom attended school with me from kindergarden to senior year high school was taken to africa last month. they told her thr nature of the journey was visitation to families. She came back married. As soon as she landed, a guy was waiting for her and when she refused, her mother gave her the choose my dua or blessing talk. She married him eventhough she has never spoken to him. She doesnt know his history, whay he is about and all that but she married him jusy to make her parents happy. I dont think parents have the right to put such a difficult expectation on their kids. apparently, some parents think they own their children and can make decisions for them without even consulting with them. Marriages like that usually end pretty quickly because two people have to choose each other. I know there is an economic aspect to it but personally i find the idea selfish. Hook them up and leave them alone, that should be about as far as parents go.