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There are many broken homes like this, led by mothers and fathers who have no clue how to raise children, and no concern for the damage their actions cause and the tortured futures their children will surely endure as a result of the behaviours and beliefs they learn in that home, by their actions.

It’s so damaging to these children because they expect better.

They expect to be loved and cared for, praised and supported. They expect their mothers to be Moms, and their fathers to be Dads; to be there for them and help them, to get along, to make it work, to be the parents they see in other homes – their friends’, the neighbours’, or on TV.

They expect their parents to provide a stable life, and the conditions for a promising future – whether it’s difficult or not, whether they can or not. They expect a real home, where there is food on the table, and laughter in the air; where they aren’t yet burdened with the stresses and realities of adult life.

That they’re sheltered from it.

That they’re safe.

Cause kids just want to be able to not care about such things; to be free to wake up every day with no concern about how they will eat or where they will stay, when their father will stumble home, or if he’ll come home at all. They want to live as others live. They want to be a kid while still a kid and a teen while still a teen.

They want a family. They expect a family.

But, sometimes…that’s just not reality.

It’s not possible.

As horrible as that is. As painful as that may be.

Cause the truth is…

…their bad parent or parents are not capable of providing such a sweet, innocent, and nurturing home in the condition they are in – with the addictions they feed, or the anger they hold; with the abilities they don’t have, or the misguided beliefs they’ve been given.

Because parents have problems like you have problems. And the origins of their personal failings are the same as those of yours.

It was the company they kept, and the experiences they lived. It was the influences they allowed, and the lessons they never learned. It was the thoughts they let in, and the beliefs they came to hold as theirs.

It was the home they grew up in, they life they’ve lived.

Because we are our circumstances – when we know of nothing better.

technogc wrote:Sxb, If I was to sentence them, I would sentence them to death ten times over. 25 years in prison, justice served kulaaha

Not all people are meant to be parents, just like not all people are meant to be mathematicians, or whatever else.

And though parenting is much harder than math, and way more complex than math – though it’s in fact the hardest job in the world – it is also (by some horrible reality) the easiest job to get.  Assuming you can get laid, that is.

Yet despite how hard it is, and difficult it is, and strenuous it is, nearly every person will accept that job at some point in their life.  No résumé necessary.  No qualifications needed.No wonder, then, so many people are messed up, fucked up.

Cause does the fact that one’s able to make a child ever qualify them to raise one?

Could anything, really, suddenly qualify them?

The answer, of course, is no.

Yet for some reason we expect it of them anyway.  We expect them to provide a stable home and promising future; to care, and support, and love.  We expect them to suddenly and miraculously be better individuals – more responsible and mature, more deserving of admiration or love.

But why should it be like that?

Why – because they are parents?

No f-king way.

It’s stupid.

That a boy managed to talk or push his way into the pants of the girl who would become a mother, does not make him capable of being a Father.  That that girl was able to squeeze a child out of her womb and survive, does not make her capable of being a Mother.

That a sperm finds an egg does not change who we are.

The people a child calls parents – the ones who the child looks up to and expect the world of, the ones he or she blames problems on, and openly or secretly hates – are just two people who drunkenly, accidentally, or stupidly conceived a child when it was, likely, the last thing they should have ever done.

Because they weren’t ready.  Because likely they’d never be ready.

And from that momentary mistake, all your problems and theirs – all that suffering and pain have arisen.

They weren’t thinking about that, though, when they crawled under the sheets.

They weren’t thinking of the challenges they would face; of the difficulty in raising a troubled son or daughter, of how they would treat you when you did right or wrong, or how they would act when they let you down.

They weren’t thinking of how they would face the bad days, when they’ve worked all day, and slaved all day, and there’s a small spat to deal with when they walk through the door, or more bills to pay than they can manage, or decisions to be made under tremendous pressures and stress.

They weren’t thinking that that night would become a lifetime of challenges.

And they weren’t cut out for it.  Most aren’t cut out for it.

They do as they can, though, as best they can.  As best as they their messed up Selves are able and capable.

Or they do nothing at all.

And the broken homes become more numerous.  And the broken children become broken adults.  And the broken adults start more broken homes.

And the cycle continues.