This 40yr old woman gets a mild heard attack & is sent to the Emerigency room where she encounters a light from heaven that happens beaming through the high window.'God is that you?' She asks. God Responds by saying - 'Yes'. 'Is it my time God? AM I Dying? God- hesitates & responteds-- "Not now Child--You have 40 yrs 2 months, three days & 60 seonds left till its time for you to die". The woman is elated & is come with this new atitude in life! She decides to stay in the Hospital more -to have cosmetic surgeries.She has a face lift, breast enhancements, lips job, nose job, lipo suction & the whole total make over. After some days she steps out the Hospital & unfortunately is hit by a hospice Ambulance & is sent right back to the Emergency room. There she screams to God-- "Why God?? What Happened?"
God hesitates again & responds'
'Girl---I am sorry-- I didn't recognize you at all'!!!!!
Ok this nice farm family had this bad behaving kid. So this kid goes out kicking the chickens, the cow, & drove over the whete harvesting farm. He comes in the kitchen to demand breakfast from his mom.
'Mom Can i have some eggs'? Mom says--No-- why did you kick the chicken?
Can I have a glass of milk??? No--why did u kick the Cow>
Oh mom please --can I have some bread then?? ---No dear-- u have to learn your lesson-- you shouldn't have disrespected the Wheat plants-- No bread for you.
As the kid sat there totally MAD--his dad comes down the stairs & violently kicks their beloved 'ceeb cat who was laying down on the stairs.
'The kid has this devious smile on his face & says'' WELL MOM--should I TELL HIM OR ARE YOU GOING TO TELL HIM"??????
