100 ways to tell USE a Somali (qarxis.com)

[bham's_beauty]

100 WAYZ U KNOW USE A SOMALI.

You go to drop off one person to the airport, but you take 50 extra people with you

2.Your entire family runs the marathon when they see a dog (calmly walking on the other side of the road)

3.Your cousin is said to have "gone abroad to get married", but you know heÂ’s been musaafird.

4.You were taught never to talk to strangers at primary school, yet your parents force you to call a complete stranger "Auntie"
5.you think you are so funny

6."The doctor" is your cure to every illness (evern though u curse them)
7.You somehow think youÂ’re related to Puff daddy/naz/any black rapper
8.Your remote control is still in two pieces and u blame or cell taped together.

9.You use your religion to get yourself out of almost anything e.g. P.E, class discussions, debates, sex education, etc.

10.You secretly meet your boyfriend/girlfriend in the most obvious places (e.g. like at the mall) and expect NOT to get caught by your parents

11."GET INTO FIGHTS" and "KNOCK THE F**K OUT OFF PPL!" is your solution to every problem

12.You studied AÂ’ Level Maths and your seen as one in a million in the Somali population.

13.You make conversations in high pitched voices and the person is standing in front of you

14.You accuse the shopkeeper of being racist when he kindly asks you to pay for your packet of crisps

15.Your mobile phone "just happens to ring" when you see a member of the opposite sex

16.You think that u can drive and you donÂ’t need a licence, insurance or tax plate

17.BOYS: You secretly do shopping or house work but act as if you dont
18."My mate wants to check ya!" is secretly your chat-up line

19.Your can tell a Somali home by itÂ’s curtains

20.You think youÂ’re part of the MAFIA, yet you hang on corner streets.

21.You seem to think that this list DOES NOT apply to you

22.You become obsessed with a member of the opposite sex, ring mobile all dayÂ…and get rejected (you then ask out their best mate)

23.You class them as geeks if they are still in education

24.ItÂ’s quiet common to still be in college or school at the age of 30.

25.At the adult age, you still think you can get away with paying child fare on the bus

26.You have a telephone at home but nobody is (ever) allowed to use it
27.You call each other xalimo and farahs(diss)

28.Your wear designer labels, but still aint got credit in your phone.

29.You donÂ’t think itÂ’s worth going for driving lessons

30.In primary school you was always the rebel and the bully

31.YouÂ’re related to your husband/wife even before youÂ’ve married them

32.The bus never stops for you

33.You invite the world to your wedding night but no one starts at the time written on your invitation card

34.you talk a lot in your language

35.You dance at a complete strangerÂ’s wedding (and claim you are a distant relative)

36.You somehow think you invincible when you see an older Somali women with loads of shopping bags

37.You drive your car around the same spot for 10 years

38.You achieve A*Â’s in every subject and your parents tell you to STUDY HARDER

39.You should be a nurse or a doctor

40.You always look for bargains

41.You are offended by this list coz itÂ’s true

42.At home you never can use the bathroom coz theirs about ten ppl leaving with you who needs it too.

43.South hall or Wembley is common t go if you want to find us

44.There is a tub of "PRIDE GHEE" and a sack of "TILDA BASTMATI" in your hallway (arabic air freshener)

45.You tell your mum itÂ’s your birthday and she adds on a few years to what you have become <--- my hooyo

46.At least one family member sell khat (SOMALI WEED)

47.You think youÂ’re life is just going to rewiiyads(PARTY) getting as much numbers as you can, then getting married and becoming religious.

48.You all love the singer hassan aden samartan

49.You seem to think that the car your driving is a racing car and ordinary roads are racing tracks, thus explaining why you speed around thinking youÂ’re Damon Hill

50.When watching Somali videos, you spend most of your time asking what they said or what something means

51.You are always in competition with other girls at wedding and rewiiyads

52.You hardly ever take prescribed medicines because your parents have them all

53.Unknown "relatives" start ringing your house asking for money

54.You are unable to open your front door because of the pile of shoes blocking the way

55.you get phone calls a 6 in the morning and your Parents wake you up ‘WHO IS IT!'

56.Your parents have a PANIC ATTACK when something dirty comes on TV.

57.you always take the piss out of each other

58.You have 3 hobbies: eat, sleep and complain

59.You have to offer guests tea even before theyÂ’ve stepped into your house

60.You address every other Somali person on the planet as "your cousin"

61.You think you have the ability to take on the entire police force

62.You dress identical to your friends and your favourite colour is black

63.Girls: Your brother thinks heÂ’s your dad

64.Your wedding takes place in either a community centre or a common hotel that everyone has used

65.You know that all Somali music songs are about LOVE but you still listen to it.

66..You go to a wedding with an empty car, but on the way back you end up giving the entire population of the wedding a lift home (and you havenÂ’t seen half of these people in your life)

67.You go to a wedding with an empty car, but on the way back you end up giving the entire population of the wedding a lift home (and you havenÂ’t seen half of these people in your life)

68.At school, your parents were never aware of ParentsÂ’ Evening (Â…and if they did attend ParentsÂ’ Evening and you got a bad report, you told them that the teachers were all racist)
69.You arrive late at every party

70.At weddings the cameraman only ever cameras you when youÂ’re eating

71.Your phone line has been cut off at home, your mum only wants
incoming calls, yet you have a mobile phone

72.In primary school, your parents forced you to give her a kiss because the English mother was doing it to

73.In high school, your teacher kept asking you if you were "forced to do things"

74.In college, you either witnessed or were involved in a fight

75.you went to enjoy yourself in a rewiiyad but end up in a fist fight with your own people

76.Your dad always kicks you out the house and keeps you knocking on the door for HOURS!

77.The only business we are most successful with is CALL SHOPS

78.Your parents tell you "Eastenders" is haram

79.At parties, you wear the same clothes as others and hate each other for it

80.You get over-excited when you see another Somali person on TV.

81.You have a limited variety of food recipes

82.You accuse a Somali boy of fancying you because he asked you if you needed help

83.You lie to your parents about where youÂ’ve been

84.You see another Somali friend and you shout and make a seen just to greet each other.

85.The lads love their girls in diiriics (SEE THROUGH DRESSES THAT GURLS WEAR AT WEDDINGS)

86.You come home to the sounds of screaming (you have guest)

87.Your parents still listen to old Somali songs

88.You spend all day in Somali café’s (maqaax)

89.You are constantly being compared to every other Somali kid on the Planet

90.You pronounce English words in a typical accent when speaking to your parents e.g. toilet: "Toylatka" 'bolice' sinisbari

91.You never go to the library "to work"

92.Your phone number is x-directory

93.A member of the opposite sex simply says "hello" and you accuse them of stalking you

94.You receive phone numbers from complete strangers and you start chatting to them and then you find out they like you but just gave you a fake name

95.GIRLS: You own a gold set

96.Guys: you want to knock out the lad who clocks your sister yet your clocking next mans sister

97.You have cousins that youÂ’ve never even heard of

98.Everyone goes to Somali at the same time

99.You wonder why people stare when you hire out a car, because they saw you yesterday with a banger

100.You call some one then put it down so they can call you back (you don’t want to waist the £10 credit you have)

101 When celebrating a religious festival, you take this as an excuse to come back wot ever time you please

103. You wear more cologne than deodorant.
104. You pronounce "comfortable" cun-fort-a-bull.

105.You put olive oil (maasara) in and on everything and brag about how healthy it is. <--- no point intended olive_oil

106 Your father swears at you with words that effect himself.

(from qarxis.com)

[*SOMALIAS_FINEST*]

106 WAYS
SORRY but THIS list DRAGGED on

[Khalid 5]

ALLOW THEY BRIEFINGS

[SLIM-THUG]

.....NOT ALL ARE TRU....THO....


78.Your parents tell you "Eastenders" is haram

TRU AND A HALF......