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Between 18 and 22, a woman is like Africa, half discovered, half wild, and naturally beautiful with fertile soil. Between 23 and 33, a woman is like Canada, well developed and open to trade, especially for someone with cash. Between 33 and 43, a woman is like India, very hot, relaxed, and convinced of her own beauty. Between 43 and 50, a woman is like France, gently aging, but still a warm and a desirable place to visit. Between 51 and 59, a woman is like Great Britain, with a glorious and all conquering past. Between 60 and 65, a woman is like Yugoslavia, she lost the war and is haunted by past mistakes. Between 66 and 70, a woman is like Russia, very wide and her borders are now unpatrolled. After 70, a woman is like Tibet, She has a mysterious past and the wisdom of the ages… but only those with an adventurous spirit and a thirst for spiritual knowledge visit there.
Geography of Men
Between 1 and 80, a man is like America, ruled by a ceeb.
There is a dangerous virus being passed around electronically, orally, and by hand. This virus is called Worm-Overload-Recreational-Killer (WORK).
If you receive WORK from any of your colleagues, your boss, or anyone else Via any means DO NOT TOUCH IT. This virus will wipe out your private life completely.
If you should come into contact with WORK put your jacket on and take two good friends to the nearest grocery store. Purchase the antidote known as Work-Isolating-Neutralizer-Extract (WINE) or
Bothersome-Employer-Elimination-Rebooter (BEER). Take the antidote repeatedly until WORK has been completely eliminated from your system.
Two women were talking about their lives since they had become Nursing home residents.
They both agreed that life was good but one woman, Ethel, said she was rather upset because her sex life had really died out since she and her Husband had come to the nursing home.
The other woman said that her sex life was great!
"The secret to great sex is this," the woman told her, "when my husband is getting ready for bed, I get undressed, lay on the bed and put both legs behind my head. When he comes out and sees me like that he gets so excited, we have wild sex the rest of the night!"
Ethel says, "I'm going to try that tonight!"
When Ethel's husband is getting ready in the bathroom that night, she takes off all her clothes. Although it's a struggle, she gets one leg up and behind her head. Pretty soon, she has the other leg behind her head as well. After accomplishing this great feat, Ethel falls backwards and can't move.
It's not too long before her husband comes out of the bathroom. With a shocked look on his face, her husband yells "For God's sake Ethel, comb your hair and put your teeth in, you look like an assshole!"
