a mother's advice to her daughter on marriage

[Naaima]

Salam alaikum


A mother's advice to her daughter on marriage

Abd al-Malik (Radiyallaahu 'anhaa) said: "When ‘Awf ibn Muhallim al-Shaybani, one of the most highly respected leaders of the Arab nobility during the jahiliyyah, married his daughter Umm Iyas to al-Harith ibn ‘Amr al-Kindi, as she was made ready to be taken to the groom, her mother, Umamah came into her room to advise her and said:

* ‘O my daughter, if it were deemed unnecessary to give you this advice because of good manners and noble descent, then it would have been unnecessary for you, because you posses these qualities, but it will serve as a reminder to those who are forgetful, and will help those who are wise.

* ‘O my daughter, if a woman were able to do without a husband by virtue of her father’s wealth and her need for her father, then you of all people would be most able to do without a husband, but women were created for men just as men were created for them.

* ‘O my daughter, you are about to leave the home in which you grew up, where you first learned to walk, to go to a place you do not know, to a companion to whom you are unfamiliar. By marrying you, he has become a master over you, so be like a servant to him, and he will become like a servant to you.

‘Take from me ten qualities, which will be a provision and a reminder for you:

* ‘The first and second of them are: be content in his company, and listen to and obey him, for contentment brings peace of mind, and listening to and obeying one’s husband pleases Allah.

* ‘The third and fourth of them are: make sure that you smell good and look good; he should not see anything ugly in you, and he should not smell anything but a pleasant smell from you. Kohl is the best kind of beautification to be found, and water is better than the rarest perfume.

* ‘The fifth and sixth of them are: prepare his food on time, and keep quiet when he is asleep, for raging hunger is like a burning flame, and disturbing his sleep will make him angry.

* ‘The seventh and eight of them are: take care of his servants (or employees) and children, and take care of his wealth, for taking care of his wealth shows that you appreciate him, and taking care of his children and servants shows good management.

* ‘The ninth and tenth of them are: never disclose any of his secrets, and never disobey any of his orders, for if you disclose any of his secrets you will never feel safe from his possible betrayal, and if you disobey him, his heart will be filled with hatred towards you.

* ‘Be careful, O my daughter, of showing joy in front of him when he is upset, and do not show sorrow in front of him when he is happy, because the former shows a lack of judgment whilst the latter will make him unhappy.

[Navy9]

thanks sis 4 the reminder. jazaki Allah kul kheer

[Lil_Cutie..]

‘The fifth and sixth of them are: prepare his food on time, and keep quiet when he is asleep, for raging hunger is like a burning flame, and disturbing his sleep will make him angry.

My Abu used to always say this, and Im sure alot of men would agree that a way to a man's heart is through his stomach. Interesting..


That was nice Naaima, JazzakAllahu Khairen walaal & May Allah swt make us one of those righteous wives who are forever pleasing thier husbands and are blessed by Allah with a beautiful secure marriage. Aameen

[Naaima]

you wlc sisters

lil, right walahi, i heard that too many times and amiin sis

[Lil_Cutie..]

DP--Sorry my Computer froze.

[Lil_Cutie..]

...And again!

[Lil_Cutie..]

................And agaain!

[djibsomali]

if somalis halimos knew or practice this advise they wouldn't be 1000s of single mothers in the uk.
and 1000's of first born ba1stards and weceel in uk.

The state of somalia families is worse than those ladies raped in mogadisho by ahmaar

[salkha]

Here is my advise to you.
First and second this is the 21 century not the 12th.
third and fourth get a career.
fifth and sixth HE should be serving you hand and foot, my husband does.
seventh and eight if you feel helpless or hopeless there is a womans shelter near you.
ninth and tenth build your self-steem.love yourself you are no one's servant aside from allah.