The Tomato Garden

[Grant]

An old Italian lived alone in New Jersey . He wanted to plant his annual tomato garden, but it was very difficult work, as the ground was hard.

His only son, Vincent, who used to help him, was in prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament:
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Dear Vincent,
I am feeling pretty sad, because it looks like I won't be able to plant my tomato garden this year. I'm just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. I know if you were here my troubles would be over. I know you would be happy to dig the plot for me, like in the old days.
Love, Papa

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A few days later he received a letter from his son.

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Dear Pop,
Don't dig up that garden. That's where the bodies are buried.
Love, Vinnie

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At 4 a.m. the next morning, FBI agents and local police arrived and dug up the entire area without finding any bodies. They apologized to the old man and left.

That same day the old man received another letter from his son.

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Dear Pop,
Go ahead and plant the tomatoes now. That's the best I could do under the circumstances.
Love you, Vinnie

[jamalllll]

Grant




So funny

Atleast the control freaks used some of their time constructively....

What a world this would have been if they did that voluntarily

One of the best ways to fighting evil is to keep doing the good ,my opinion ofcourse

[Grant]

A man is driving down a deserted stretch of
highway when he notices a
sign out of the corner of his eye....It reads:

SISTERS OF ST FRANCIS
HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION
10 MILES

He thinks this is a figment of his imagination
and drives on without a second thought. Soon he sees another sign which
reads:

SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS
HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION
5 MILES

Suddenly he begins to realize that these signs are for real and
drives past a third sign saying:

SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS
HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION
NEXT RIGHT

His curiosity gets the best of him and he pulls
into the drive. On the far side of the parking lot is a stone building
with a small sign next to the door reading:

SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS

He climbs the steps and rings the bell. The door is answered by a nun
in a long black habit who asks,

"What may we do for you my son?"

He answers, "I saw your signs along the highway
and was interested in possibly doing business...."

"Very well my son. Please follow me." He is led
through many winding passages and is soon quite disorientated. The
nun stops at a closed door and tells the man, "Please knock on this door."

He does so and another nun in a long habit, holding a tin cup answers
the door... This nun instructs, "Please place $100 in the cup then go
through
the large wooden door at the end of the hallway."

He puts $100 in the cup, eagerly trots down the
hall and slips through the door pulling it shut behind him.

The door locks, and he finds himself back in the
parking lot facing another sign:

GO IN PEACE.
YOU HAVE JUST BEEN SCREWED BY THE SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS.
SERVES YOU RIGHT, YOU SINNER

[jamalllll]

I would have demanded my money back

Naughty nuns are also sinners.......GOD FORGIVE THEM FOR THEY KNOW NOT WHAT THEY DO

[Gatspy]

loooool The first one is wicked. The second one there is just cruel I tell ya.

[*jr]

I liked the first joke...it reminded me of an episode from the Sopranos...when Tony buys a land for Carmela at a wooded lot where Adriana is barried.

[SomeGuy]

Grant,

good jokes!.

Someguy