It's OK to laugh at Christians... ;)

[Grant]

Subject: Church Bulletins..

They're Back! Church Bulletins: Thank God for church ladies with typewriters.
These sentences actually appeared in church bulletins or were announced in
church services:
>
>
>
> ----------------------------------------------------------
> The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.
> ----------------------------------------------------------
> The sermon this morning: "Jesus Walks on the Water." The sermon tonight:
> "Searching for Jesus."
> ----------------------------------------------------------
> Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those
> things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.
> ----------------------------------------------------------
> The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been canceled due to a
> conflict.
> ----------------------------------------------------------
> Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at someone
> who is hard to love. Say "Hell" to someone who doesn't care much about you.
> ---------------------------------------------------------
> Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help.
> ---------------------------------------------------------
> Miss Charlene Mason sang "I will not pass this way again," giving obvious
> pleasure to the congregation.
> ----------------------------------------------------------
> For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery
> downstairs.
> ----------------------------------------------------------
> Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help
> they can get.
> ---------------------------------------------------------
> The Rector will preach his farewell message after which the choir will sing:
> "Break Forth Into Joy ."
> ---------------------------------------------------------
> Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So
> ends a friendship that began in their school days.
> ---------------------------------------------------------
> A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will
> follow.
> --------------------------------------------------
> At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What Is Hell?"
> Come early and listen to our choir practice.
> ---------------------------------------------------------
> Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several
> new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
> ---------------------------------------------------------
> Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person
> you want remembered.
> ---------------------------------------------------------
> The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and
> gracious hostility.
> -------------------------------------------------
> Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow.
> ---------------------------------------------------------
> The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be
> seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.
> ----------------------------------------------------------
> This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from
> the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.
> ---------------------------------------------------------
> Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM. All ladies are
> invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B. S. is done.
> ----------------------------------------------------------
> The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend
> him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.
> ----------------- ---------------------------
> Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the
> back door.
> ---------------------------------------------------------
> The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church
> basement Friday at 7 PM . The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
> ----------------------------------------------------------
> Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please
> use large double door at the side entrance.
> ----------------------------------------------------------
> The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new tithing campaign slogan
> last Sunday: "I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours"
>

[Advo]

> Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the
> back door.

[Pitsaleh]

How very gratifying is the spectacle of Grant, son of Mormons and writer extraordinaire, perpetually churning out gags for the black and brown denizens of the Third World. How conspicuously out of place seems this Laughing Philosopher, belonging as he does, to a former era and class of S'net among whose alumni include such names as Galol, Viking, Michael Ital, Mad Mac, Poetess et al.

From that soaring height, and from its towering legacy, crafted patiently for so long a time by illustrious men to whom none can do justice, this place has degenerated into a playground for a lot of Islamofascists and assorted miscreants.

Grant dearest, your love of matters ironic remains undiminished, and sufficient unto your day is the pleasure thereof. Possessed of wit, humor, and a keen intellect, you are a relic of a vanished age. For the Great, seeing the barbarians at the gate, threw their hands up in sheer exasperation and departed one after another.

A kiss upon your heart!

[Enlightened~Sista]

I like Grant but I dont like PitSaleh

[Pitsaleh]

[quote="Pitsaleh"]I like Grant but I dont like PitSaleh [/quote]

Hey hot pants, want a back rub? Wanna rendezvous for a quiet drink, and get acquainted intimately? Wanna shake the magic stick with yours truly? Or is this a game only for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints?

Be truthful now ...

[Enlightened~Sista]

Pitsaleh

xishood

[ms.nalia]

loooooooooool....oh god...

> For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery
> downstairs.
shiiiiiiiiiiiiit.......crakn me up dude!

thanx...I needed that!