You are in the pub when you suddenly realise, you need a fart. The music is reaaly loud, so you time your farts with the beat. after a couple of songs you start to feel better. As you finish your pint , you notice that everyone is staring at you, then you remember, you're listening to your ipod!!!!
There was a man of 68 years, who was lamenting the loss of his years of youthfulness, and so went out and bought himself a new corvette convertable...
Not wanting to restrain himself any longer he headed straight for the highway and decided to see what this new baby could do...
After pulling well clear of the traffic, he slowed a little, dropped the car back to 2nd gear and with all the strength he could muster in his 68 year old leg, he planted his foot firmly on the accelerator pedal..
The car fish tailed and squated as it laid down strips of black rubber and pumped out volumes of white smoke..
The old man rapidly changed up to 3rd gear, again spinning the wheels, then 4th as the car settled down and went about the task of of reaching 3 times the legal speed limit...
No sooner had the grin started to clear from the old mans face, when the wailing of a siren could be heard approaching from the rear...
The old man was enjoying his new found freedom far too much to be bothered by a Law man and knowing he had more than enough power to outrun a police cruiser, he dropped the car back to 3rd and again planted his foot..
The engine screamed and the vette launched again, rapidly shifting to 4th then 5th gear, with the poles on the road side becoming a blur and the siren now nothing more than a dull buzz, the old man cruised for a few miles in top gear before suddenly realising the consiquence of his actions, thinking,
"What the Hell am I doing"....??? "I'm a 68 year old man, getting in to a high speed police chase"...!!!
"I could be killed"...!!! and with that he backed off the gas, dropped the car down through the gears and gently pulled over to await the arrival of the police cruiser on the scene...
Eventually the officer arrived and pulled up behind the now dormant vette.. He slowly walked up to the drivers side and in disbelief, looked upon this grey haired old gent sitting in the drivers seat looking some what ashamed of himself....
"Sir.." the officer said, "On my way back to the station house to knock off work for the day, I have witnessed you lay rubber, then dissapear from my view at 3 times the legal speed limit for the area"...
"Now, I should write you more tickets than you can carry, but I'm a fair man and I've had a good day, I can see this type of behaviour might be out of character for you, so if you can give me One Good Reason, as to why I shouldn't Book you, I'll let you be on your way"...
The old man thought for about 10 seconds, then said, "Well Sir, last week my wife ran off with a Police officer, and when I heard the siren, I thought you were him trying to bring the bitch back"...!!!
The officer replied,
"YOU HAVE A NICE DAY SIR"
