Why do some Somali men refuse to Divorce Their Wives

[qoraxeey]

FAH

adopt me i want you as my father .lool

[FHA1223]

FAH1223,


I will send them $$$ and drop in from time to time but I am not raising them.

Anybody can make a kid, but raising them is your duty.

Even if separate, kids need their father and mother

[AbdiWahab252]

FAH1223,

Again it depends on the relationship with the mother, if she is a bitter, vindictive woman who makes seeing my children a difficulty, she can keep them. If she is not, then i can get involved with the kids.

At the end of the day, if she is the former, there is very little I can do except hope they don't hate me.

[FHA1223]

FAH1223,

Again it depends on the relationship with the mother, if she is a bitter, vindictive woman who makes seeing my children a difficulty, she can keep them. If she is not, then i can get involved with the kids.

At the end of the day, if she is the former, there is very little I can do except hope they don't hate me.

C'mon Son!

Who cares if she is bitter, those are your damn kids as much as hers and you have as much right over them.

Boys need their pops so they can be men, girls need their pops so they become dignified and have that man in their life thats out for them.

[Beenaale_No1]

you think thats a good idea? kids are better of with their mothers, you can still be part of their lives, obviously some of us havent learned the art of this. but i wouldnt advice you to take the kids away from their mothers.

Maybe 50 years ago, yeah, but todays men are equally as good as single handedly raising their kids as women are. My son needs me, and my daughter needs me. Im not gonna hand them over to their mother completely. Never.

[AbdiWahab252]

FAH,

Not really, you are powerless as a divorced father. Family court will neuter you and nothing you can do except be nice to her.

[qoraxeey]

Aabe FAH

[surrender]

There were no divorces only 2-3 generations ago purely because those women that wanted divorce had to convince not only their husband but also their entire family and community. The stigma of being divorced was one that no woman could recover from as communities were isolated and she would never have a second chance. In the west a woman can survive without her husband as she has welfare or even work. She has options in terms of social circles and can totally avoid her extended family.
The only reason that women in the past tolerated and appeared to have more IMAN was due to their dependancy on the income of their husbands.

Reality dawns on her when the kids reach teenage, then it is a path of sleepless nights and high-blood pressure followed by internal organ failures, obesity, chronic insomnia. When her kids tel to F.Off she then realises there was a need for a father figure.

Where my kids are all Sons i would divorce her when she looses her IMAN and gets abusive.

If i had even one daughter, i couldnt fogive myself for how she turns out... So i would do what ever it takes and remain a save till she is married then i would fly off to somalia and get me a new wife younger then my daughter to catchup on lost joy

obviously the Imaan you on about hasnt reached to you yet. may Allah guide you to the right path amiin. and that ^ (highlighted blue) is the very reason why Somali culture is not good. Islam any day over our culture. because with Islam it does not isolate women who have been divorce. this Stigma crap you on about, is not Islamic, and has no place in our religion. and it could one of the reasons why there are so many single mothers in our community.

[HELWAA]

A man should't listen to his wife when she is angry.Dadku markey cadhaysan yehiin
wax kasta afkooga wey ka so baxaan.Thats why when a man divorce his wife in anger
is not valid.Pple should make decisions when they are calm.

Furitaanku wax lagu degdego maaha esp when kids are involved.

LAAKIN SADEX WAX ANIGU MA AQBALEEN...

-ABUSE
-KHAMRI
-CHEATNG

[AbdiWahab252]

Surrender,

Cajiib, how she kicked her husband of 50 years to the curb ? Rer Mudug women

P.S. Before she left, she said that she was still my Eedo and it wouldn't change.

[Firefly]

Helwaa:- What about daroogo iyo jaad? But I guess they both fall under "ABUSE"..

But I'm with you on everything else. Imagine, if women were given the right to divorce? They'd scream "I divorce you" morning, afternoon iyo evening too. Indeed, Allah SWT knows our nature..

[The_Patriot]

Divorce issue here is my two cents for the reason.
1.Some women are quick to ask for it and in the end they regret if the husband is stupid enough to grnat her I have seen couples that have regreted for divorcing each other even though they still have feelihngs for each other the bottom line is thats a lost dream.. Some couples end up trying to bend the rules and reconcile after 3 talaqas and are infact engaged in Zinnah.

2.Some men are psychopaths they dont want to divorce their women and they treat them like a stamp collection hooby. I mean he lets the women take care of the children while he goes to other regions and marries another woman and only comes occasionaly to impregnate her and live off. Some men look to women as sexual objects.

[surrender]

Being proud has nothing to do with it. I've seen/heard about tons and tons of Somalis divorcing over the smallest things.. like she can't cook or he plays on his PS2/3 all the time *so they say*.. But cheating and drinking is by no means a SMALL thing. I could put up with some of his behaviours *which he had before i was his wife* or he just developed it because i aint perfect myself..
But, if he started drinking or even cheated on me.. I'm out, No amount of 'sorry, it wont happen again'..ama 'its a one-off thing' would stop me...

i agree! there are some of his behaviours which you cannot put up with, or you shouldnt put up with. tarku salaad, abusive, cheaters, alcoholics, qaadwales (and lazy people) should not be given chances. the rest, we can all work with.

[Cirwaaq]

surrender

The West is a more demanding environment on parenthood and i feel sorry for those that find it impossible to reconcile their differences. Every member of the household is a looser in the event of a divorce. Society also bares the burden...

[Madd_Scientist_]

because they're f-king dickheads!