Dispatches: When Cousins Marry

[Curmudgeon]

How amusing to watch the intellectual gymnastics of the towelheads. Among no class of men is there so high an incident of congenital malformations than the hot-for-my-cousin-crowd. Coupling with your relations is a giant leap back in the evolutionary chain. As well mount the furry hump of a bison. Nobody will know the offspring's genetic parents.

Onwards, upwards, and back into the trees!

[Ayeeyo Xilwa]

The evidence is there and should not be ignored. Marrying your first cousin is bad news, marry your third cousin if you feel you must stay in the family

we dont have control over who we marry...wax kasta wa qadar.

Joker

Technically you could walk into a highway and say if you survive waa qadar. You have to study for an exam, you have to make sure the food you eat is clean, you have to make sure the person you marry is compatible with you to the best of your knowledge...you have to take responsibility for your life and not blame God or qadr when things blow up.

At-Tauba 9:51

Say: "Nothing shall ever happen to us except what Allah has ordained for us. He is our Maula (Lord, Helper and Protector)." And in Allah let the believers put their trust.

The Messenger of Allah said:

“A person is not a Muslim until he believes in Qadar, its good and its evil consequences – until he knows that whatever happened to him would have never missed him, and what missed him would never have occurred.” (Tirmidthi #2144)

"No evil befalls on the earth nor in your own souls, but it is in a book before We bring it into existence; surely that is easy to Allah: So that you may not grieve for what has escaped you, nor be exultant at what He has given you; and Allah does not love any arrogant boaster." (57:22-23)

The Prophet csw said:

“The strong believer is better and more beloved to Allah than a weak believer, and in each one there is good. Be keen to do what benefits you and seek Allah's help, and do not be neglectful in doing so. And if any mishap befalls you, do not say, ‘If only I had only done such and such,’ but rather say, ‘This is the Qadar of Allah, and whatever He Wills He does (Qadarullaah wa maa shaa fa‘al),’ for indeed, ‘if,’ opens the door for Shaytaan’s works.” (Muslim #2664)

[BlackVelvet]

That is all true, qadar exists and Allah's knowledge is infinite. I have no arguments about that.

My point is that you don't know your qadar and neither do I:

Allah said "...Lo! Allah! With Him is knowledge of the Hour. He sendeth down the rain, and knoweth that which is in the wombs. No soul knoweth what it will earn to-morrow, and no soul knoweth in what land it will die. Lo! Allah is Knower, Aware. " (31:34)

So at the end of the day Allah knows but you don't. When you're thinking about whether or not to marry your cousin, you cannot say 'It's my qadar to marry him' that is wrong, you have no such knowledge. You make your choices with the free will that Allah gave you and you live with the consequences. The things you have no control over, such as after you marry your cousin, how healthy your children will be, that is qadar because it's out of your hands. Whether you marry your cousin or not in the first place is up to you.

If you choose to marry your cousin and then your kids have these ailments (God forbid) then you look back and say that it was meant to be. It's a good thing because it makes us feel better but at the end of the day we're not in the future, we're in the present. If a person knows the risks they are taking and the problems they might be causing for their future kids and do it anyway then they are just irresponsible. It's like smokers who say that if they are meant to die of lung cancer then there's nothing they can do about it. Not smoking a pesticide stick would be a start I say.

[GeoDesic]

One must distinguish between the permitted(to meet a social need when it arises) and the advocated. While marrying cousins are permitted for social needs in case that need arises, or simply some people prefer to marry first cousins because of their local customs, Islam advocates for marrying outside your immidiate family. I tried the find the hadiths that both indicate the downside to marrying cousins and ones inwhich the prophet advised a companion of his to marry outside his clan. Obviously, if marrying first cousins perpetually results in disabilities, we should shun it. It is neitiher Sunnah to marry first cousin nor advocated for. Many permitted acts in Islam are so for social needs, not necessarily best practices or most beneficial. Islam is a way of life and therefore addresses both present and future needs of mankind, so, don't get confused between permitted and advocated. Evidence shows marrying your first cousins can have negative consequences for your children. Find somebody else to shag please legally.