Dating Stories

[Awraadle]

Grandpa, wat lies? You mean your lies? I just simply caught u lying. Simple really

[WiglessBidaar]

Awraadle, stop creating lies to score cheap political points, I never intentionally mocked the deen.

Wigless, I have never claimed those things you claimed especially Allah being arab (what a lie)!

Are you denying that you said Arabic is the language of Allah and that all the other languages he made are botched and bungled? That is the Khawaarij mode of saying that God is a camel driving Arab.

If you won't detach your lips from your Salafi wadaad's bottom, how will you ever land yourself a beauty abti yar?

[grandpakhalif]

I will find a female counterpart that thinks like me

[WiglessBidaar]

Grandpak

Don't be a silly goose, you are smart, young and from the rumours of your gap toothed smile by all accounts very striking. Of course you will get a date. No question. It's only a matter of how long it will last when she sees your flowing night gown. Unmanly.

Let me inject some virility in you my kindred. Though before I can make you into a dapper-lookin', brawn-flexin', booty-mountin' Casanova I need to nail down your vital statistics: Brit or Yank, tall or short, beer or Vimto, theatre or cinema, SUV or mini, twenty-something or fifteen, tampon or pad, lesbian or straight porn?

Tell me no lies abti.

[grandpakhalif]

Grandpak

Don't be a silly goose, you are smart, young and from the rumours of your gap toothed smile by all accounts very striking. Of course you will get a date. No question. It's only a matter of how long it will last when she sees your flowing night gown. Unmanly.

Let me inject some virility in you my kindred. Though before I can make you into a dapper-lookin', brawn-flexin', booty-mountin' Casanova I need to nail down your vital statistics: Brit or Yank, tall or short, beer or Vimto, theatre or cinema, SUV or mini, twenty-something or fifteen, tampon or pad, lesbian or straight porn?

Tell me no lies abti.

I am from North America, tall, vimto, cinema, mini, 18, why would I care about female menstruation ? I dont watch porn lool

[WiglessBidaar]

You've narrowed your pool of suitable women, but onwards and upwards.

If a girl said: Hey sugarplum, I want to experiment in the bedroom. Here, meet my ex-boyfriend. He will be joining us. What would you say?

[grandpakhalif]

Kir! You whore bag, only gays would be naked in front of another man in a sexual fashion.

[WiglessBidaar]

You want four babes a night, but a lady can't have two?

[1nemansquad]

i don't even know what dating is like, i've no memory of it; been with the same woman for nearly 10 years

[WiglessBidaar]

Grandpak,

In the pursuit of the mother of your unborn chillun you imagine a winsome beauty descending from Jannah on whose bottom is tattooed "Grandpak's Property", you imagine your wedding night with vibrant colours and the music of the Choir Invisible, you see the night aflame with a hundred scented candles flickering till the Last Day, you imagine being intoxicated on the woman's nekkid body and the dance of the lover's dance between her thighs till the crack of dawn as while you mount and thrust cold beads of sweat run down the cleavage of your bottom, your gaze falling into her gaze and slowly everything turning peaceful and calm while the lids of your eyes, weighed down with jaceel, are brought to a close in a scene of restful bliss.

Just one problem: To secure this dream, you must lick her anus.

What's your answer abti?

[WiglessBidaar]

i don't even know what dating is like, i've no memory of it; been with the same woman for nearly 10 years

I can't imagine the horror of drilling the same hole night in and night out. Traumatic ninyahoow.

Are you saying that you never dated the woman you're with? Don't tell me you just snatched her off the streets and kept her hostage.

[1nemansquad]

i said i have no memory of dating because it was a long time ago but yea we dated.

you're insecure about yourself that you can't let a single person get close to you enough to see who you truly are? (commitment)

[WiglessBidaar]

^ Perhaps you're right. My command of psychology is deep enough to grasp that human motives are not as clear cut as we like to imagine, that down below the conscious mind where the heart carries on its one drum beat there pull and push a host of subtle impulses beyond one's awareness.

Even so, I think man is a creature so constructed that monogamy is contrary to his nature. By temperament unfaithful, his genetic wiring sends him panting after every fluttering skirt that breezes by.

To wed a single woman is to sin against human nature: Too many babes, too many strip clubs, too many fast swimming sperm cells.

Do you contest this?

[1nemansquad]

i can't even respond to that because it is shocking to me but i will tell you this my friend, behavior is learned, and then promoted, endorsed, propagated by our society, family, peers, and worse the women who allow you the luxury to hit and walk off

all in all, its not really your fault

[WiglessBidaar]

Is all behaviour grafted on by environment? Fascinating. Did someone teach you how to take a dump?

Alla beerka iyo wadnaha!

The philandering urge is no more learned than going for a sweet number two.