Af Somali writing contest: Twist vs Xamud

[TheblueNwhite]

Write a 3 paragraph short short story. It has to be original material and you have to include a humorous ryhming verse.

The judges will be Noangst, Lamgoodle and myself (others can submit their votes as well) and you will be judged on the following areas:

Beginning: Does writer engage the reader's
attention immediately? Is tone, setting and
character established quickly? 4 points

Characterization: Are characters believable,
well-rounded? Actions and interactions
consistent and well motivated? 4 points

Plot: Does progression seem inevitable without
being too predictable? Is story interesting and
compelling to read? 4 points

Conflict: Does protagonist have a problem
serious enough for the reader to care about? 4 points

Style: Is writing fresh and free of cliches?
Does it reveal writer's own vision and attitude
clearly? 4 points

Mechanics: Is grammar and punctuation correct?
Spelling accurate? 4 points

Good luck gentlemen.

[Twist]

Qosol, qaylo & sawaxan aad u sareeya ayaa goobta ka baxayey. Dhalinyaro isugu jirta wiilal iyo gabdho oo si aad u heer saraysa oo casri ah u labisanna hoolka wayn ee waddada dhankeeda bidix ku yaala ayey ku sii qul-qulayeen oo ay xaflad aroos ahi ka socotay. Xiligu waxa uu ahaa abaarihii 6-da maqribnimo, aniguna waxaan ku sii socday guriga saaxiibkay Faysal oo meel aan sidaa uga fogeyn halka xafladda lagu qabanayey ku yiilay. Muddo yar ka dib ayaan gaaray gurigii saaxiibkey oo albaabka waxaa iga furtay xaaskiisa, Falis, oo ayaduna isu diyaarisay xafladda arooska. Falis waxa ay si dabacsan iigu sheegtay in saaxiibkay Faysal uu qofla fadhiga joogo oo aan horay u soo dhaafo.

Markii aan u sii dhaqaaqay qolka fadhiga ayaa waxa ay indhahaygu qabteen gabar aanan weli xaafadda ku arag oo xaqiiqdii si aad ah ii cajabisay. Dumarka marka ay xafladaha aroosyada isu diyaariyaan si ayey isu qurxiyaan oo bilicsami aanan horay loogu arag ayey la soo baxaan, balse tan sidaa way ka duwanayd oo gabadhan quruxda uu Ilaahay siiyay wax aan ku tilmaami karo ma jirto. Dhirirkeeda, xubnaheeda kala dhigan, midabka jirkeeda oo ahaa casaan iyo maariin isku dheehan, timaheeda oo aad mooddo sida haldhaa ay cadceed arooryaad qabatay iyo indhaheeda raxmadda leh ayaa mar qura maanka iga qaaday. Runtii ma xusuusan karo in aan intaasoo faah-faahin quruxdeeda ku saabsan aan mar qura indhaha ku sawirtay iyo in aan meesha hal saac taagnaa oo waxaan ka war helay dumaashiday oo i leh, "Faysal fadhiga ayuu ku jiraa walaal ee horay u sii dhaaf." Markii ay intaa lahayd, indhaheeda waxa ka muuqday in ay igu lahayd, "Saaxiib waan ku arkaa waa lagu dhex maray ee meesha ka dhaqaaji." Falis waa gabar aad u wanaagsan oo dabci iyo kaftan wanaag Ilaah ku manaystay, ayada iyo saaxiibkayna jaceyl ayey isku guursadeen. Niyadda ayaan iska iri, "Hadday Falis saaxiibo yihiin wax walba waad ogaan doontaa ee is deji."

Anigoo halkii ay gabadha taagnayd marba dib u sii jaleecaya ayaan galay qolkii fadhiga ee uu saaxiibkay joogay. Isa salaamid iyo is wareysi yar ka dib waxa aan la soo booday, "Faysalow, saaxiib gabadha Falis la joogta waa tuma?" Faysal oo aan ku bartay kaftan iyo sheekooyinka shaxaarinimada in uu aad uga helo ayaa igu yiri, "Cabitaan ayaan inooga keenayaa jikadda ee waan soo laabanayaaye i sug saaxiib." Markii uu sidaa lahaa wejigiisa kama muuqan dareenkii aan ku bartay ee si ayuu u yara xir-xirnaa. Mar qura ayaa waxa igu dhashay shaki iyo wal-wal oo waxa aan bilaabay in aan is weydiiyo in aan khalad sameeyay iyo in kale. Waan aqaanaa dhamaan hablaha la dhashay Faysal iyo weliba inta ay ina adeero, ina eedo, ina abti iyo ina habreedba ahaayeen oo inantan guriga joogta ma aha mid intaaba ka mid ah oo horay umaanan arag. In yar ka dib markuu Faysal sii maqnaa ayaa waxa aan maqlay muran aad u sareeya oo ka imanayey dhankaa iyo jikada. Dhegta ayaan u dhigay oo waxa aan isku dayay in aan dhagaysto waxa uu muranku ahaa. Naxdin iyo amakaag ayaa Ilaahay ii keenay markii aan maqlay ......


.... to be continued!

[greenday]

Nice twist, i'll wait for Xamud before i give a review and a verdict

[Twist]

Green, by judging how he didn't show up yet I can guess he's asking his friend who is good in Somali to help him.

[greenday]

What brought this up? and if he doesnt show am gona take his place in this tartan

[ToughGong]

What was the muran about man,fuck! waxaa ma soap baad ka dhigtey ninyaho
I read all that just to be left in the lurch.Weliba I struggle with the Somali text


Bloody Macalin

[SultanOrder]

seemeyer its not a soap yet, if it was then she would be his second wife noo that can't be it, a niece, a long lost sister, a friend of his wife who is trying to set him up? Idk

twist

[quark]

xamud, handle your bizness bro

[Twist]

Greeny,

Seemeyer, LOL! That's the secret ingredient, sxb.

Plot: Does progression seem inevitable without
being too predictable? Is story interesting and
compelling to read?

PO, LOL! That's the whole point. To confuse the reader!

[TheblueNwhite]

you have to include a humorous ryhming verse.

[Twist]

REMINDER: The initial challenge wasn't who's a skilled writer but whose Somali is better. Working, will be back.

[TheblueNwhite]

[afisoone]

Xamud only writes 2 sentences. That is all..

[Twist]

Xamud only writes 2 sentences. That is all..

So that's why he still didn't show up eh?

[Cinque Mtume]

Twist's Af Somali game is on fire, but let's wait for Xamud.