Seasonal Thoughts

[WiglessBidaar]

As the year gallops out I think I may be turning quite ugly. Actually, switch that to very. This is no time for holding back. And to be honest I smell a bit too. I’m not proud of it brothers, but the truth must out.

The beauty in my life said “Uff” before she slammed the door on our ten year marriage and skipped town with a handsome dog. I cry all night pausing only for prayer and beer. Alla jacaylka iyo wadnaha.

No pretty ankle wants to kiss me. The upscale brothels have shut their doors to my wigless bidaar. The lowscale ones have turned me out. I’m going out of my scattered mind.

It’s tough being an old timer. The looks go. The eyes dim. The organ of joy below the waist shrinks. What remains abtiyaal? Brains. But few women seek charmless nerds. The gentle sex want a buff hunk or, failing that, bags of moolah.

I am certain that for all my vast afflictions and sufferings that when many long years from now the heartache drops me and sends my imperishable soul up to the Choir Invisible, I will be rewarded by a just and intelligent God.

Till then my clansmen, what are some of your new year hang-ups?

[Hyperactive]

mine is to graduate from this school to start another one!! seems life never ends!!

[WiglessBidaar]

Hyper,

Never took you for a spotty little schoolgirl just sprouting pubic foliage. I thought you were a shapely college babe sleeping with her professor for inflated grades. Wareer badana.

Tell me abaayo macaan, what do you study?

[Hyperactive]

lol i am a guy not a girl.

im in sharia and slamic study and going to chemistry college inshallah.

[WiglessBidaar]

Fascinating stuff.

Time was when I attended a Shariah school myself but they were Sufi types back then with a keen eye for tumbling girls on the bed after prayers. I left though when I caught the bushy faced wadaad lying naked with a prossie I knew very well. In, out, and off he went to the masjid.

It's not the rank hypocrisy which got to me for let's face it we are all of us culpable. Just that I hate to drill the same hole as my spiritual guru.

[WiglessBidaar]

I forgot to add that my significant other is filing for divorce. My kids will be snatched from me. She claims that I beat her too much.

Wallahi that's not true. I beat her only when she won't spread her bottom cheeks for me.

I feel so lonely on this Christmas. What shall I do brothers?

[gurey25]

drink yourself to death..

[WiglessBidaar]

Gurey,

How will that get my woman back? I need her to see what a dapper guy I am, to forget that I'm ugly and smelly and bald as an egg.

You are not very bright are you my little rabbit?

[Hyperactive]

how old are you?

[gurey25]

my advise is much better trust me..

[WiglessBidaar]

@ Hyper

Let's just say that my kids are old enough to be grandparents.

[Hyperactive]

mashallah adeer. you dont need a wife dee. let you kids take you to nursing house.

[WiglessBidaar]

@ Gurey

I knew a guy once who shared your name. He was furious with me. Please sir, I begged, don’t kick my ass tonight. Kick my head in if you wish. Kick my sweaty armpits. Kick me in the left testicle. In the nose, in the ear, in the navel. But please, just don’t ram your foot up the crack of my hairy cheeks.

Did he listen to me gentle reader? Fuhgeddaboutit. It’s tough being an old timer these days. No one defers to your age. I need to hire some muscle. Can you help sugarlips?

[WiglessBidaar]

@ Hyper

Wanna be my lover?

[Hyperactive]

no.