Would you speak up if

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ms.naliaa
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Would you speak up if

Post by ms.naliaa »


Your friend announces that he/she is getting married and you pretty much know how this is going to play out in the end.......divorce.

Im struggling with should I or should I not situation right now with a friend. I want to be a good friend to her and always hell her the truth...but I dont to a have "kill the messenger" situation in my hands.
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Lillaahiya
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Re: Would you speak up if

Post by Lillaahiya »

How do you know the marriage will end in divorce?
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CilmiDoone
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Re: Would you speak up if

Post by CilmiDoone »

And how do you know that "exactly" how its going to end up? And besides, the possibility of divorce exists for a reason.
ms.naliaa
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Re: Would you speak up if

Post by ms.naliaa »



For one, I know my friend very well and something feels off. She has always told me what her ideal mate is like. She has on countless occasions written off men because he is not what she envisions. Enter random guy, 3 months later they are engaged. I am willing to entertain the idea that she has changed her mind on what an ideal mate is....but theres something missing, call it womans' intuition.

Im not saying I want to stop the wedding...Im just wondering if I should broach the subject of "are you sure this is what you want"
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Lillaahiya
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Re: Would you speak up if

Post by Lillaahiya »

You come off as jelly. Be happy for her :up:
ms.naliaa
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Re: Would you speak up if

Post by ms.naliaa »

Lillaahiya wrote:You come off as jelly. Be happy for her :up:

Thats exactly why I dont wanna say anything. I dont want her to think this is about jealousy.

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BlackVelvet
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Re: Would you speak up if

Post by BlackVelvet »

I would comment on how he's not what she said she wanted and 3 freakin months ma waalatey? (unless she was always one of those people, actually even then I'd still tell I thought she was crazy) but you don't tell her to call it off or talk her out of it. If you're close enough you should be able to voice your opinion without offending her, unless you keep banging on about it, then you'd be taking the piss.
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salool
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Re: Would you speak up if

Post by salool »

Divorce waa iska caadi.You learn from the experience and move on. :up:
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Lillaahiya
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Re: Would you speak up if

Post by Lillaahiya »

Nalia: She will think you're jelly so what's the point? Unless you found out he has another wife and kids on the side, or an ex wife and kids, or he's a part time bar tender, or served time on rape charges, or some other qac shid, hold your peace.

BV: There are people who date for 5+ years, get married, then get divorced within the first year. There are people who knew their partner for less than a month and are still married years later. Wa iska calaf.
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CilmiDoone
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Re: Would you speak up if

Post by CilmiDoone »

ms.naliaa wrote:

For one, I know my friend very well and something feels off. She has always told me what her ideal mate is like. She has on countless occasions written off men because he is not what she envisions. Enter random guy, 3 months later they are engaged. I am willing to entertain the idea that she has changed her mind on what an ideal mate is....but theres something missing, call it womans' intuition.

Im not saying I want to stop the wedding...Im just wondering if I should broach the subject of "are you sure this is what you want"
"Something feels off"? :lol: THe biggest bulshit I ever heard in my life. :dead: Don't be xasid :ufdup:
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BlackVelvet
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Re: Would you speak up if

Post by BlackVelvet »

Lillaahiya everything waa calaf, doesn't mean you drive without your seatbelt. I would genuinely be concerned if someone I cared about was marrying someone they only knew for 3 months and less than a month I might ask them to go to the doctor or get Quran saar or both.
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Lillaahiya
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Re: Would you speak up if

Post by Lillaahiya »

Nin aanad maalin ku baranin sanad kumaa baratid
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BlackVelvet
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Re: Would you speak up if

Post by BlackVelvet »

Lillaahiya wrote:Nin aanad maalin ku baranin sanad kumaa baratid
:lol: wah wah mah mah aad soo baratey

Would you get married to someone you've known for a day?
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Lillaahiya
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Re: Would you speak up if

Post by Lillaahiya »

Don't take its meaning literally :lol: Essentially you know what type of person someone from the jump, and if you can't figure it out from the jump, you won't until its too late.
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BlackVelvet
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Re: Would you speak up if

Post by BlackVelvet »

I get that and I am big on trusting your gut but you can't say "don't judge a book by its cover" and in the same breath rush into marriage with someone because you feel you know them after 5 minutes.

Besides lets be honest, when you are getting to know someone you are Mr. and Miss. Perfect especially at the beginning, that is hardly the real you or him. It's interview you in your crisp suit and your best behaviour :lol:
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