Ayatollah Hutuking Wages Holy War

[AbdiWahab252]

"We must act, Ayatollah !" said the young disciple. Hilowle was bewildered at the Ayatollah's inaction against the constant tirades and provocations against the Dariiqa Hussein Hutu.

"I tend to agree with brother Hilowle. We can only stand so much. Our reputation is taking a beating and the collections at the blessed masjid and shrine are down 30% since the bloody Rasputin, LetsCookBreakfast started waging his Lutherian campaign against us, .... as a matter of fact...." but before the Treasurer of the Dariiqa, Abdiwahab could finish his sentence; Ayatollah Hutuking stood up from his throne.

"What do you mean collections are down ? How much are we losing ? When did this start ? Why am I hearing this now !" he yelled while simultaneously clutching his gold tusbax. He began muttering duas under this breath while listening to his council.

"Ayatollah, the drop in revenues started a few weeks ago and I thought it may have been related to the economic downturn. Yet, when I saw our biggest contributors coming up light I knew that they were getting spiritual ablution elsewhere. I dispatched SecretAgent on a special mission to seek out what was causing the shortfall. Do you know DesmondHutu, the spiritual challenged tycoon, who would seek Quran akhriis and duas weekly ? I haven't heard from him in three weeks ! When I confronted him, he said that he no longer requires emissaries to his Maker ? I thought it would end there but he started spreading the word to the other men of the duniya..."

"WHAT ! WHAT ! What is the meaning of this sacrilege ?" screamed Ayatollah Hutuking who stopped sipping from his golden chalice and threw it on the ground.

"Patience, I am patient and they think me weak ! I try to be nice and in return they piss on my shoes. If its war they want, war I shall give them ! A war to end all wars ! My name is not Ayatollah HutuKing Kijana Wa Husseini ! Summon the war council and Jeyesh AhluBayt !"

Prior to becoming Ayatollah, Hutuking01 was a successful Chieftan who gathered great bounty in the delta. However, one day, he had a sudden brush with death similar to Paul on the road to Damascus. From that day, Hutuking01 dedicated himself to doing the Lord's work yet it was not that simple. He had many people who depended on him not only for spiritual sustenance but also to meet those of this duniya. What could he do ? It then hit him. He took over a dwindling Qaddriyah and had a turn around plan which saw his militias chase out competing religious bodies. Revenues started pouring in and he became wildly popular and loved. After all, who could hate a man of the cloth thought Hutuking01. Little did he know that enemies were lurking in the shadows.

[AbkoowDhiblaawe]

Rooofl

well done Ayatollah AW that was hillarious

[SecretAgent]

fablous writing AW make part 2 pls!!

[Rabshoole]

Nice one brah.

[AbdiWahab252]

fablous writing AW make part 2 pls!!

Tomorrow inshallah.

[MaliPirate]

Great article brother Ayatollah AW252.

[Marques]

"Ashes to Ashes, Dust to Dust".

The burial of Master Hydrogen and Master AfroBro had taken place. Reverend Hutuking of the former Quaker movement had been called in for the last minute service. "Off to the depths of Hell you sodomite vermins" he sneered quietly as the casket was lowered six feet. For days, the Somalinet community grieved in sorrow and old lady Jasmine wept in an open outcry for the death of her former lover AfroBro. "He always loved my socks, a real sweetheart he was" she muffled as the neighbourhood mares Lady Lilaahaya and Tarty Tuushi stuffed her face with kleenex tissues in a vain attempt to dry her tears.

Juvenile belligerents of the Tokumbo Youth Club meanwhile poured into the Pub for a complimentary toast. Ringleader DesmondHutu, Actress Waris, sidekick Jax and MC LetscookBrekky, dressed in turkish garments, and sneaking a hightop low cut under their Kuffi, gatecrashed the celebration and garnered a significant silence from the crowd. After about a minute of the tensity of the quiet atmosphere..

"Good riddance to Bad waste!" Yelled DesmondHutu, ushering in a synchronised bawl from the crowd "No more hydrogen! No more AfroBro!, No more hydrogen! No more Afrobro!" The orgy continued deep into the night as drinks and more drinks were being slid right across the bar with the distant Karoake being played by borderline drunkard hargaysaay..former ally of hydrogen who fell out with him on grounds of heterosexual differences..(deceased hydrogen was persisant in leading holy prayers with his rhinestone jacket, a taboo in the Tokumbo Youth Club).

"It's those raving lunatics Marques, i tell ya" said Constable SecretAgent, as he spun around on his office desk. "For 2 bloomin' months they been at it again and again, they even threatened to torch his yard and clog his bathroom with hair"..Policeman SecretAgent entertained Marques with a quiet drink at his office in a bid to get to the bottom of the crime investigation. He suspects a racially discriminated attack against hydrogen and AfroBro. They never hid their tirade against the spread of Bantus amongst the locals. Tokumbo Youth Club was the final straw. DesmondHutu, the Reverend and the boys were newcomers into town and had already began systematically taking over. Even former actress Waris who boasted of a 'Hashemite' ancestry was now Bantuized in an attempt to dilute the town with the Bantu saga.

"I wouldn't be too sure about that" snapped Inasamaale. Marques and SecretAgent swiftly turned aside to see the glamarous InaSamaale, catwalking into the shanty deskroom, whisking her hair in slow motion whilst dressed in skimpy yet seductive leggings. She dumped a classified file on Marques' lap, eyeing him punitively before breaking her silence.

"Have a look at this"....

[LetsCookBreakfast]

How dare you insinuate that I would betray the Imam?! Verily, I would never betray the Imam who I seek guidance from.

[Colonel]

Why are the masses attempting to create disunity within Al Ikhwa?
Truly I am the student of Imam Hutuking Hiraab and we are on good terms. There is no rivalry between us although many amongst mankind would like it to be different

[LetsCookBreakfast]

Certainly, the intentions of secularist Abdiwahab are clear. He intends to cause a rift between members of the Majlis in order to weaken us. Verily, the 'divide and conquer' tactic will never work on the pious men of the Majlis.

[Jax]

Imam HutuKing is the teacher of Ikhwa al-Snet surely he would not brandish the Sufi relic "tusbax"

[AbdiWahab252]

Imam HutuKing is the teacher of Ikhwa al-Snet surely he would not brandish the Sufi relic "tusbax"

Are you positive ?

[AhlulbaytSoldier]

Warra, my sayyid Imam Hutuking does not accept Tusbax. He uses his own fingers