5 TYPES OF XALIMOS, WHICH R U OR WOULD LIKE TO WIFEY?

[Montgomery I. Ethan]

Here are, after 3 years of careful observation, what I view as the 5 most common types of xalimos. Rather than list examples, I've decided to let the men and women decide what type of xalimo you are or your favorite xalimo is.

There can be combinations of the xalimos. Keep in mind, that xalimos are rarely from Somaliland.


The hollywood/supermodel Xalimo

This is the most common type xalimo. She is directed to faraaxs by here so called friends. She has great interest boys in rented BMWs or sport compact cars. The owner is usually insignificant. She will be over the moon by any man who even looks at her, she believes being cool will help her get accepted by the fish and chips girls . . . although she is always reminded that she doesn't have british passport(But then neither do most of the faraaxs who link her.)and that looking glamorous would draw attention from a modelling agency for xalimos, followed by the home office to deport her. This xalimo rarely has much of a real job, but doesn't care because it's her turn to recieve the hagbad. When asked has she ever worked she repiled, "i one times filling out you know forrm to working at kingis crossis, i getting no jobi".


The internet Xalimo.
This xalimo may also be a middle aged wife, but not always. She feels the need to speak out when her man goes out chowing and uses the internet to express her anger. She's generally boring but can be utterly obnoxious and stupid when exposed to civilization. Nevertheless, she is generally accepted for her knowledge of the internet and having a membership in all websites.This xalimo is also usually fresh of the boat and may have little or no knowledge of english, but knows perfect english once she's in cyber space. She owns a wireless keyboard and a portable mic, making sure she's always in contact with other cyber xalimos or faraaxs. Tried to apply on line for a british passport, but when asked to e-mail her photos she e-mailed a picture of beyonce thinking she would get away with it.


The hi-tech xalimo.
A smart xalimo, this xalimo not only knows all about benefit fraud, she probably teaches about, looks out for, or even leads xalimos to fish and chips boys. She picks up slang very quickly to fit in, slang terms such as "yard", "ding me", "wagwan" and "one" short for one love. This xalimo will waste no time in telling you that she's been in the U.K since the early 90's. Fish and chips females should watch their step with her, as she will defend her territory at any moment's notice if she feels threatened in any way and is not afraid to use her scarf as a deadly weapon.This xalimo is a force to be reckoned with and will most likely have more fish and chips boys on lock than other xalimos despite her lack of romance. May have arrived in the U.K using a Fake ethiopian passport, but has purposely hide it. When asked by her aunt who poses as her legal parent in the U.K where it is, she denies knowing were it it is in case she is deported.

The Family xalimo.
This xalimo doesn't socialize much because she's on 24 hour watch by her sheikh dad, but she's still seen about and also makes the odd link if you phone her the night before, so she can prepare and plan an escape. She doesn't always tell much about her xalimo experiences, there are thousands of things you will never know about her, except what she wants you to know. She usually wears a oo omar (long john) in the winter because she's not use to the snow cold, and she is often caught making snow man, instead of making bariis for family. The family xalimo will rarely be seen in tight jeans and nike air dunks, although she dreams of one day owning a pair of both. She's on the waiting list for her own house on the local council, but undercover due to the fact that if she's caught by her parents they would have an arrange marriage done for her to style it out.


The last but no least the MTV base xalimo.
The MTV base xalimo is a good time, but she is also a time bomb. She is usually hot (as in sweaty) from trying to copying the artist's on MTV base, and may also be caught singing when no one is looking. She is a fast and shameless for many reasons, but usually one of three: loves to gossip in af somali, antagonize or argue in broken english. She may have several boyfriends (she can't help it if there all faraaxs who dress like usher in the yeah video, which is her favourite video on base) and will frequently buy inappropriate bikinis that she wears under her jalbiib. She is an attention seeker and her ideas on boys are unpopular. The MTV base xalimo sees MTV base as her biggest source of obtaing a british passport, and may purposely hide her all her long skirts, and report them stolen.

This compelling insight into xalimos was brought to u by MONTGAOMERY I. ETHAN, use it to your advantage.

:lol: :wink: :D

[Dun]

[quote="Montgomery I. Ethan"]Tried to apply on line for a british passport, but when asked to e-mail her photos she e-mailed a picture of beyonce thinking she would get away with it.

[/quote]



HAHA

[URMCGYAL4LIFE]

DAMM I MAYBE ALL OF THEM



ESPECIALLY THE HITECH XALIMO WHO NEW I COULD BEAT SOME1 SILL WIT MY HIJAB

[GANG Green]

OMG
walahi u had me laughin thru out the whole text
becuz its soooooooooo tru
and do u knw how many hi-tech xalimo's i knw

two fumbs up walahi

[Nimco_]

U 're crazy don't u know that

specially the family xalimo!!

yo mr. Craig Montgomery(only montgomery I like is him), These so called Xalimo's wich you so called observated, are in real you five sisters Right? Allah

You so sooooooooooo funny hahahahahah Nice one

[miZZ_caramel]

Someone is bored. Have you seen how many topics you've made about "Xalimos"?

[Montgomery I. Ethan]

SORRY TO ANY XALIMOS I'VE LEFT OUT, WATCH THIS SPACE.


:lol: :wink: :D

[A=ME]

mind my loud laughting

i was so worries and mix with a bad day lol but this make ma laugh to the fullest -



























































































































































































































































i need help
some shut me down plz

lol @ the e mail passort
damn and the wirless keybord
and the HI TECH XALIMO kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk
focking laughting

[xalimo got her groove bk]

alaa chaw chaw this dude had me on de floor kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk but sadly plz u misd some of uz my kinda xalimo is not in there abowo i fell left out plz do finish up

[Montgomery I. Ethan]

Dear readrs,

Sorry to any xalimos i have left out, look out for 5 types of xalimos part 2 coming 2006. but if you can't til then post in your request for which xalimos you want reviewed. Also in the making is 5 types of Faraaxs.

Montgomery I. Ethan

[lookz]

this topic is far from funny.....
let me just say what a waste of space... and what waste of your time... do you knw how sad this makes you look..... kids nowdays!!!!
im sure you could have wasted your time talking about usfull issues....

[Montgomery I. Ethan]

Watch this space for 5 types of faraaxs, coming december 14th.
in production at the moment.

[Westernized Xalimo]

we all know its all about the westerinzed xalimo bababababyyyyy

[No Fakester Real Gangsta]

listen u prick chattin shit bout limas u probably got raped by 5 of dem u clown straight from the circus hiding behind a whitemanz name. Ur probably 1 dickhead bored at home cos ur friends left u, if i was u i would get a lima and stare at her 4 a couple o minutes cos the way ur talking u sudy dem as a hobbie u wanksta, interent gangsta magazine mobster shit on all ur YSL

[highclass]

What a Joker,

Lool@ The topic