divorcing my wife SERIOUS TOPIC

[eyes-only]

I think you don't really have much of a marriage if you're seeing the household income as 'my salary' and thinking your wife has no say in the matter. To be honest I've always seeing the women managing the household income and never seen a husband complain about it, not to this level anyway. Maybe the world has changed but I heard it from an Islamic source that your wife has the right to say 'your money is my money and my money is my money'. You should just take your full cheque to her and let her decide what she does with it....that's how successful families are made (assuming she's not a complete dumbo of course).

You also need to make sure you don't frustrate and upset your wife since she just recently gave birth....you don't want her to end up depressed and regretting her choices in life.

[Dudaaye]

I think you don't really have much of a marriage if you're seeing the household income as 'my salary' and thinking your wife has no say in the matter. To be honest I've always seeing the women managing the household income and never seen a husband complain about it, not to this level anyway. Maybe the world has changed but I heard it from an Islamic source that your wife has the right to say 'your money is my money and my money is my money'. You should just take your full cheque to her and let her decide what she does with it....that's how successful families are made (assuming she's not a complete dumbo of course).

You also need to make sure you don't frustrate and upset your wife since she just recently gave birth....you don't want her to end up depressed and regretting her choices in life.

On his last will in advise to his son Hassan(RH) Hadrat ALI(RH) advised him

Do not seek the advice of women, their verdicts are often immature and incorrect and their determinations are not firm. You must guard and defend them and act as a shelter to protect them from impious and injurious surroundings and infamous sights, this kind of shelter will keep them well-protected from every harm. Their contact with a vicious and sinful atmosphere (even with all the shelter that you can provide) is going to prove more harmful than being left with protection. Do not let them interfere with affairs where you cannot personally guide or protect them. Do not let them aspire for things which are beyond their capacities. They are more like decoration to humanity and are not made to rule and govern humanity. Exhibit reasonable interest in things which they desire and give importance to them, but do not let them influence your opinions and do not let them impel you to go against your sane views.
Do not force them into marriages which they abhor or which they consider below their dignity because there is danger of thus converting honourable and virtuous women into shameless and dishonourable beings.
Divide and distribute work among your servants so that you can hold each one responsible for the work entrusted to them. This is a better and smoother way of carrying on a work than each one of them throwing the responsibility of every bit of work on somebody else.
Treat the members of your family with love and respect because they act as wings with which you fly and as hands which support you and fight for you. They are people towards whom you turn when you are in trouble and in need.
My dear son! After having given these pieces of advice to you I entrust you to the Lord. He will help, guide and protect you in this world and the Hereafter. I beseech Him to take you under His protection in both the worlds.


Mashallah we should follow this great man's advise one of the best sahabis and caliph" quote
http://www.nahjulbalagha.org/LetterDetail.php?Letter=31

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SIGNS OF QIYAMAH

• When a man obeys his wife and disobeys his mother; and treats his friend kindly while shunning his father. (Tirmidhi).

• Men will begin to look like women and women will begin to look like men.

• Women will conspire. (Tabarani, Hakim).

Divorces will become common

Women will order their mothers around

Women will trade along with men

Women will imitate men
Men will imitate women

. The lowest and the worst man in the nation will become its leader
. People will not obey their fathers
. And will mistreat their mothers
. And will not hold back from harming their friends
. And will obey their wives
. Women who sing will be treated with great deference

[eyes-only]

^In making sense of your quote...assuming it is legitimate, I will have to say...you are not the prophet's son and 21st Century Somali women are not the Arab women from that period.

[grandpakhalif]

Waan ku ducayna bro, mashallah Ali's letter is full of wisdom and timeless advice.

[abdisamad3]

Let an experienced brother advice you
I can relate to some of your problems excluding the money part
Well sxb most couples experience relationship problems when they have a new born child this is normal she probably use all her time on the baby which will make her feel alone on taking care of the baby and she feels like you should help with the house chores since she is busy with the baby also women with new born babies have hormone problems and so they tend to be more angry and emotional my wife also only remembers the bad things I do but never the good things I do this is normal behavior for women as you said you gotta stick around for the sake of your kid divorce should be your last option.try to be patient with your wife help her with the kid show her that she matters to you cook for your self when your hungry don't wait for her to.cook for you or expect it from her when your hungry buy a dish washer when cleaning the house divide the rooms between you to and clean up your part
And please what ever you do don't listen to un-experienced macho faraxs that will call you a softy for helping out your wife and always remember its not a shame to change diapers or help your wife with the house chores this is what marriage is about rising your kids and sticking up with your family through thick and thin

[abdisamad3]

BTW I forget to add since day one of our marriage I gave my wife a credit card to my account that may explain why we never fight over money

[AhmedBoqor]

BTW I forget to add since day one of our marriage I gave my wife a credit card to my account that may explain why we never fight over money

Adisamad, thank you for the tip, will keep that in mind when its my time

[anilweyne]

Any woman that brings up "divorce-card" into every small argument deserves to be left alone immediately.
You're lucky that you don't have 2-4 kids with her now. Think about that.

[Lillaahiya]

Lillaahiya,
horta there are certain things a man shouldn't complain about or even mention such as money when it comes to his family. But in recent times, waxaad mooda most divorces in the Somali community wuxuu ka imaadaa finance misuse and mistrust between couples, waxaasna waxaa keeney aamindaro dadkan dhextaaley markiihore. Haduu rabo inuu kufuro naagtiisa wax daciifah like money, dee isaagaa wax udhiman

Anigna ninkan uma camirin, manarabin inaanba comment kabixiyo his domestic dramas because i believe it shouldn't even be in our place to have a say in this at all, dambigeega marabo. Kaliya waxaan layaabey sidaad simple uga dhigateey 'nin musqul dhaqaya' and to me that is the out-most disrespect to a man. Sideed rabtaa ninkaga inaad banaanka udirto uu ragkale la ficiltamo adigoo hada musqusha ku dhaqeey?

How can you even look at him the same, when he just cleaned the washroom? subxaana allah

Niyow weli ma soo taagan tahay?

Finance/money problems is number uno on the list of reasons why marriages fail across the cultural spectrum. Balse wax daciif ah na ma'aha. Laakin waxaan la fajacay inaad ka xanaaqday musqul xun la nadiifinaayo. I don't see how that's disrespectful if you're already doing house chores, nor would I look at my husband differently if he cleaned out the washroom. Marka labada loo eego, waxaa caqli-gal ah labo qof oo kale tagayn oo sababta u ah kalsooni ma jirto amba lacag ba mid qariye, etc. Taasi walaa fahmi kara ee tan kale kamaa aqbalayo.

[Babygirl-]

Cool Walaal you have a kid with her, So tell her how much you make & waaxa Save gareysid mahana let her take care of the bills & other spending's plus you should add money for her personnel use, Doing chores? help out sometimes. Not a big deal cause it's too much for one person.

[1nemansquad]

Lillaahiya, hadaba dee fikradaada iyo teyda baakala duwn, lets agree to disagree; to each his own. Balse anigu musqul dhaqimaayo, ilaah beey katahey

must be true when they say, 'a dhulos will always have that reer-miyi hard-nosed attitude ama xamar haku dhaso ama xedhedhenka'

[Lillaahiya]

Horta su'aal baan ku haaya

Do snetters feel obliged to reference their qabiil at least once a day on these forums Keliga ma'aha laakin wamaxay waxaani?

[1nemansquad]

actually this is the first time I ever remember doing this, I look at qabiil as sport for entertainment personally nothing to be taken serious

[Lillaahiya]

If you say so

[1nemansquad]

haye, i've a question for you; are you an old forumer with a new Abaya or a new one?