I don't want children.

[Twist]

Soomaalidu waa dad cajiib ah! Someone says they don't wanna have children, or even wanna marry, and they'll try to come up with all kinds of examples, explanations, "personal experiences" and such of why you should have children/marry. Your experience in life must match theirs, regardless of circumstances, realities and personal preferences. People are going out of their ways to write essays and find articles that "prove" not having children is bad, because either "you'll regret when you get older", or that you'll be an impatient, children-hating prick. Really, people? You know there are gazillions of articles that talk about shitty children and/or parents who regretted to have children? You know there are countless parents out there who are neglected, despite having children, right?

Having children is not a guarantee that they'll be good children, nor that you'll be a great parent. Yes, it's all about intentions and one has to do their best to be the best parent they can be, and good for you if you have that mindset. But your experience in life is not similar to that of everyone else. A single life experience, whether emotional or otherwise, can have a tremendous impact on one's outlook on life, and that includes taking on that massive responsibility called parenting. People who do not wanna have children have all kinds of reasons as to why they feel the way they do. It isn't because they either hate children, or that they're "selfish". And most importantly, having kids so that they can look after you in old age is in itself a selfish act. It seems that your sole purpose of bringing children into the world is your own selfish endgames and nothing more. Ask the countless parents out there who failed in that mission.

[Sophisticate]

I suggest you do as you please. Don't beholden yourself to what anyone else has to say. They won't make your life fulfilling. Let me make a caveat. Never say never, as you can't be 100% certain of an outcome in the future. You are ever changing and you shouldn't hold yourself hostage to blanket words like - no, not and never. You could be liable to change your mind at some later date. Words are cheap. And actions speak louder than words. So if you believe this like an axiom, then live it. And don't seek validation from others.

For me, I have some apprehensions about marriage. I suppose that is normal. Childbearing is also anxiety-inducing, as I am averse to pain. Perhaps, I should re-orient how I conceptualize marriage and children. It brings to mind mundane activities and routinization of - cooking, cleaning and the 'bizness' . I've only been required to take care of myself, dealing with someone else - nope.They are an extraneous variable.

Right now, I'll reign supreme as I am - the virgin queen sitting side saddle 'solo'. If members that are appointed as a part of my royal court wish to pursue me shamelessly, that's up to them. They must be vetted by my inner circle. And there is no guarantee that they will have a chance to court me, kiss the ring to win favour or that we'll be betrothed. I'm not just anybody. There's time for that, as I'm only 30 years young. I shall commit myself to further study and travel, God permitting.

[Sophisticate]

Soomaalidu waa dad cajiib ah! Someone says they don't wanna have children, or even wanna marry, and they'll try to come up with all kinds of examples, explanations, "personal experiences" and such of why you should have children/marry. Your experience in life must match theirs, regardless of circumstances, realities and personal preferences. People are going out of their ways to write essays and find articles that "prove" not having children is bad, because either "you'll regret when you get older", or that you'll be an impatient, children-hating prick. Really, people? You know there are gazillions of articles that talk about shitty children and/or parents who regretted to have children? You know there are countless parents out there who are neglected, despite having children, right?

Having children is not a guarantee that they'll be good children, nor that you'll be a great parent. Yes, it's all about intentions and one has to do their best to be the best parent they can be, and good for you if you have that mindset. But your experience in life is not similar to that of everyone else. A single life experience, whether emotional or otherwise, can have a tremendous impact on one's outlook on life, and that includes taking on that massive responsibility called parenting. People who do not wanna have children have all kinds of reasons as to why they feel the way they do. It isn't because they either hate children, or that they're "selfish". And most importantly, having kids so that they can look after you in old age is in itself a selfish act. It seems that your sole purpose of bringing children into the world is your own selfish endgames and nothing more. Ask the countless parents out there who failed in that mission.

The desire to have children is all about self-preservation/propagation. Only thing is you're not the one being preserved. It's a separate entity with half your genes that was catapulted out of a body and unleashed onto the world. Those first 5 years are critical in personality formation so make sure that the rugrat doesn't try to stomp on living creatures for fun or set things on fire. They must be trained like a Pokemon. And you're required to be openhanded and giving if you want them to be the same. It's too much work. A lot of social engineering and there are no guarantees. Alas, even your clone would have a completely different set of life experiences. Don't sweat it people the ectowomb (artificial womb) will be coming soon, along with designer babies. You will be able to select children like you would an Instagram filter - oooh so flattering. Wouldn't that be awesome - hyper-intellectual, empathetic, beautiful with an athletic prowess like never before seen. And your body won't incur any wear and tear. Plus, humanoid robots could take care of these blessed babies while you're busy at work or self-indulging.

It's enough to make the inner narcissist in us all titillate. I'm sure this even has Twist reconsidering things.

[Sauron]

When someone wishes to have kids you make dua for them, do you also make dua for them not to have any if they don't want kids?

Wat do you think Mr sheikh Hyper!

[Twist]

Soomaalidu waa dad cajiib ah! Someone says they don't wanna have children, or even wanna marry, and they'll try to come up with all kinds of examples, explanations, "personal experiences" and such of why you should have children/marry. Your experience in life must match theirs, regardless of circumstances, realities and personal preferences. People are going out of their ways to write essays and find articles that "prove" not having children is bad, because either "you'll regret when you get older", or that you'll be an impatient, children-hating prick. Really, people? You know there are gazillions of articles that talk about shitty children and/or parents who regretted to have children? You know there are countless parents out there who are neglected, despite having children, right?

Having children is not a guarantee that they'll be good children, nor that you'll be a great parent. Yes, it's all about intentions and one has to do their best to be the best parent they can be, and good for you if you have that mindset. But your experience in life is not similar to that of everyone else. A single life experience, whether emotional or otherwise, can have a tremendous impact on one's outlook on life, and that includes taking on that massive responsibility called parenting. People who do not wanna have children have all kinds of reasons as to why they feel the way they do. It isn't because they either hate children, or that they're "selfish". And most importantly, having kids so that they can look after you in old age is in itself a selfish act. It seems that your sole purpose of bringing children into the world is your own selfish endgames and nothing more. Ask the countless parents out there who failed in that mission.

The desire to have children is all about self-preservation/propagation. Only thing is you're not the one being preserved. It's a separate entity with half your genes that was catapulted out of a body and unleashed onto the world. Those first 5 years are critical in personality formation so make sure that the rugrat doesn't try to stomp on living creatures for fun or set things on fire. They must be trained like a Pokemon. And you're required to be openhanded and giving if you want them to be the same. It's too much work. A lot of social engineering and there are no guarantees. Alas, even your clone would have a completely different set of life experiences. Don't sweat it people the ectowomb (artificial womb) will be coming soon, along with designer babies. You will be able to select children like you would an Instagram filter - oooh so flattering. Wouldn't that be awesome - hyper-intellectual, empathetic, beautiful with an athletic prowess like never before seen. And your body won't incur any wear and tear. Plus, humanoid robots could take care of these blessed babies while you're busy at work or self-indulging.

It's enough to make the inner narcissist in us all titillate. I'm sure this even has Twist reconsidering things.

Hayaay! Look, it's Sophie. I thought you weren't around this place. Ma haddaad soo dhacday sideydoo kale, or you have been active since ... last time?

Well, unlike you fragile, pretty, biological-clock-chasing beings, I am not that worried about tying the knot really. Even if for some reason I happen to change my stance on marriage and having kids, I'll have some space to maneuver in, permitting my pocket is lined and that I still can get it up.

[Bella18]

Soomaalidu waa dad cajiib ah! Someone says they don't wanna have children, or even wanna marry, and they'll try to come up with all kinds of examples, explanations, "personal experiences" and such of why you should have children/marry. Your experience in life must match theirs, regardless of circumstances, realities and personal preferences. People are going out of their ways to write essays and find articles that "prove" not having children is bad, because either "you'll regret when you get older", or that you'll be an impatient, children-hating prick. Really, people? You know there are gazillions of articles that talk about shitty children and/or parents who regretted to have children? You know there are countless parents out there who are neglected, despite having children, right?

Having children is not a guarantee that they'll be good children, nor that you'll be a great parent. Yes, it's all about intentions and one has to do their best to be the best parent they can be, and good for you if you have that mindset. But your experience in life is not similar to that of everyone else. A single life experience, whether emotional or otherwise, can have a tremendous impact on one's outlook on life, and that includes taking on that massive responsibility called parenting. People who do not wanna have children have all kinds of reasons as to why they feel the way they do. It isn't because they either hate children, or that they're "selfish". And most importantly, having kids so that they can look after you in old age is in itself a selfish act. It seems that your sole purpose of bringing children into the world is your own selfish endgames and nothing more. Ask the countless parents out there who failed in that mission.

Some people will never understand the life choices of others. Those rude islaamos that I encounter with almost everyday, maalin maalmaha ka mid ah mindi baan ka taagi doona!

OP, you're in control of your life and live the way you desire. Don't give flipping f about what others say or think.

Btw welcome back duqa.

Edit: Soph is back too .... welcome back soph.

[Twist]

Soomaalidu waa dad cajiib ah! Someone says they don't wanna have children, or even wanna marry, and they'll try to come up with all kinds of examples, explanations, "personal experiences" and such of why you should have children/marry. Your experience in life must match theirs, regardless of circumstances, realities and personal preferences. People are going out of their ways to write essays and find articles that "prove" not having children is bad, because either "you'll regret when you get older", or that you'll be an impatient, children-hating prick. Really, people? You know there are gazillions of articles that talk about shitty children and/or parents who regretted to have children? You know there are countless parents out there who are neglected, despite having children, right?

Having children is not a guarantee that they'll be good children, nor that you'll be a great parent. Yes, it's all about intentions and one has to do their best to be the best parent they can be, and good for you if you have that mindset. But your experience in life is not similar to that of everyone else. A single life experience, whether emotional or otherwise, can have a tremendous impact on one's outlook on life, and that includes taking on that massive responsibility called parenting. People who do not wanna have children have all kinds of reasons as to why they feel the way they do. It isn't because they either hate children, or that they're "selfish". And most importantly, having kids so that they can look after you in old age is in itself a selfish act. It seems that your sole purpose of bringing children into the world is your own selfish endgames and nothing more. Ask the countless parents out there who failed in that mission.

Some people will never understand the life choices of others. Those rude islaamos that I encounter with almost everyday, maalin maalmaha ka mid ah mindi baan ka taagi doona!

OP, you're in control of your life and live the way you desire. Don't give flipping f about what others say or think.

Btw welcome back duqa.

Edit: Soph is back too .... welcome back soph.

Whoa! Looks like meesha lagama maqna oo asxaabtii hore way yara gabaneysaa uun.

Tanag yuu, ayeeyo. It's mid semester break for me now, but I have a mountain of assignments all due this week and next so it's hardly a break really. My procrastination brought me back to Snet and I'll probably have a heart-attack when each deadline nears and will curse you all.

See you around, mate. Ta

[Sophisticate]

Soomaalidu waa dad cajiib ah! Someone says they don't wanna have children, or even wanna marry, and they'll try to come up with all kinds of examples, explanations, "personal experiences" and such of why you should have children/marry. Your experience in life must match theirs, regardless of circumstances, realities and personal preferences. People are going out of their ways to write essays and find articles that "prove" not having children is bad, because either "you'll regret when you get older", or that you'll be an impatient, children-hating prick. Really, people? You know there are gazillions of articles that talk about shitty children and/or parents who regretted to have children? You know there are countless parents out there who are neglected, despite having children, right?

Having children is not a guarantee that they'll be good children, nor that you'll be a great parent. Yes, it's all about intentions and one has to do their best to be the best parent they can be, and good for you if you have that mindset. But your experience in life is not similar to that of everyone else. A single life experience, whether emotional or otherwise, can have a tremendous impact on one's outlook on life, and that includes taking on that massive responsibility called parenting. People who do not wanna have children have all kinds of reasons as to why they feel the way they do. It isn't because they either hate children, or that they're "selfish". And most importantly, having kids so that they can look after you in old age is in itself a selfish act. It seems that your sole purpose of bringing children into the world is your own selfish endgames and nothing more. Ask the countless parents out there who failed in that mission.

The desire to have children is all about self-preservation/propagation. Only thing is you're not the one being preserved. It's a separate entity with half your genes that was catapulted out of a body and unleashed onto the world. Those first 5 years are critical in personality formation so make sure that the rugrat doesn't try to stomp on living creatures for fun or set things on fire. They must be trained like a Pokemon. And you're required to be openhanded and giving if you want them to be the same. It's too much work. A lot of social engineering and there are no guarantees. Alas, even your clone would have a completely different set of life experiences. Don't sweat it people the ectowomb (artificial womb) will be coming soon, along with designer babies. You will be able to select children like you would an Instagram filter - oooh so flattering. Wouldn't that be awesome - hyper-intellectual, empathetic, beautiful with an athletic prowess like never before seen. And your body won't incur any wear and tear. Plus, humanoid robots could take care of these blessed babies while you're busy at work or self-indulging.

It's enough to make the inner narcissist in us all titillate. I'm sure this even has Twist reconsidering things.

Hayaay! Look, it's Sophie. I thought you weren't around this place. Ma haddaad soo dhacday sideydoo kale, or you have been active since ... last time?

Well, unlike you fragile, pretty, biological-clock-chasing beings, I am not that worried about tying the knot really. Even if for some reason I happen to change my stance on marriage and having kids, I'll have some space to maneuver in, permitting my pocket is lined and that I still can get it up. :

Ohhhhhhhh No He diiiiiiiidin't!



Clocks, what clocks? Those froze. Thanks to science. I could preserve the goods. Provided I'm willing to pay the rent. That way I don't have to worry about gaps in my career and I could find the 'one' - without incident. I won't settle for what's within arms lengths, just because it's there. A bidar-ridden creature that stands waist high is not what I'm checking for. Believe me.

Hey Bella + Twist, how you doin'? I've been gone for 10 months. What brought me back is I'm far away from home now. I'm not in Kansas anymore.

[gurey25]

Children are a joy,
just being around them energizes me, makes my probelems go away.
who needs zoloft or xanax?
for you overmedicated Americans, next time you are feeling down, take your nieces or nephews or even your neighbors kids to the park.

[Estranged]

I used to feel this way. Not because I didn't have the natural desire, but because I was afraid they would turn out bad, lol. This was because I used to take my mum seriously when she would say my kids will be worse than me (I wasn't even that bad as a kid maayn). I didn't want to invest so much in them, only for them to turn on me or make me miserable (and for my mum to say I told you so, lol).

Now that fear has subsided, perhaps because my mother doesn't make that threat as much anymore. So in shaa Allah, if Allah (Swt) blesses me with children I plan to raise them as good Muslims who put Allah (Swt) first and stay loyal to the deen. The Ummah needs more devout and loyal Muslims, not people who are just Muslim by name.

For every good you teach them, you get the reward every time they implement it! And when you pass on, they can make du'aa for you and do good deeds on your behalf. So they're not just a blessing in the worldly sense, but also for your hereafter (if you raise them with the deen)!

Too much barakah to pass on. May Allah (Swt) bless us with righteous children (and spouse) who will be the coolness of our eyes!

[Gaashaanle1000]

I feel blessed to have my kids everyday.

But if you do not want children, that is your choice. Hopefully you don't regret this decision when you are older, as people change no matter what others might tell you.

[Twist]

The desire to have children is all about self-preservation/propagation. Only thing is you're not the one being preserved. It's a separate entity with half your genes that was catapulted out of a body and unleashed onto the world. Those first 5 years are critical in personality formation so make sure that the rugrat doesn't try to stomp on living creatures for fun or set things on fire. They must be trained like a Pokemon. And you're required to be openhanded and giving if you want them to be the same. It's too much work. A lot of social engineering and there are no guarantees. Alas, even your clone would have a completely different set of life experiences. Don't sweat it people the ectowomb (artificial womb) will be coming soon, along with designer babies. You will be able to select children like you would an Instagram filter - oooh so flattering. Wouldn't that be awesome - hyper-intellectual, empathetic, beautiful with an athletic prowess like never before seen. And your body won't incur any wear and tear. Plus, humanoid robots could take care of these blessed babies while you're busy at work or self-indulging.

It's enough to make the inner narcissist in us all titillate. I'm sure this even has Twist reconsidering things.

Hayaay! Look, it's Sophie. I thought you weren't around this place. Ma haddaad soo dhacday sideydoo kale, or you have been active since ... last time?

Well, unlike you fragile, pretty, biological-clock-chasing beings, I am not that worried about tying the knot really. Even if for some reason I happen to change my stance on marriage and having kids, I'll have some space to maneuver in, permitting my pocket is lined and that I still can get it up. :

Ohhhhhhhh No He diiiiiiiidin't!



Clocks, what clocks? Those froze. Thanks to science. I could preserve the goods. Provided I'm willing to pay the rent. That way I don't have to worry about gaps in my career and I could find the 'one' - without incident. I won't settle for what's within arms lengths, just because it's there. A bidar-ridden creature that stands waist high is not what I'm checking for. Believe me.

Hey Bella + Twist, how you doin'? I've been gone for 10 months. What brought me back is I'm far away from home now. I'm not in Kansas anymore.

How dare you! Hey, I may have bidaar but I ain't no short-ass creature. lol

Well, freezing the goodies works for all concerned if money is not a concern, innit? If that bad teacher is not an issue then the main point of this debate could have taken care of itself... at least for the majority in this discussion (I am referring to you, team "kids-will-take-care-of-me-when-I-am-old").

Hmm! Why was Bella and I +ed together? We may both be from Down Under, but we aren't even from neighboring states. Stop it, you witch!

[InaSamaale]

I don't think I can understand, despite all those reasons people have placed forth, that strong resolution of not wanting kids. I've always wanted kids, so I can't relate to those thought processes.



We don't know what's best for us though. We can make informed choices & pray that they're the right ones. Everything is written but if you do that, at least you'll be content that that's how your life was meant to play out.

[Hyperactive]

Children are a joy,
just being around them energizes me, makes my probelems go away.
who needs zoloft or xanax?
for you overmedicated Americans, next time you are feeling down, take your nieces or nephews or even your neighbors kids to the park.

the problem with your post is; they wont stay kids and they grow up fast from going to park. before you even caught up, they turn to ungrateful teens and entitled. I already have 3 teenager siblings and four 7 years old - 2.5 months. I pass.

ps; I already play second role of fatherhood and I don't like my freedom is taken already. tan school gey, tan Canada gey, tan Egypt gay!! I don't think my father could do. he is lucky he had me very young age that I took most of responsibilities from him.

[gurey25]

Children are a joy,
just being around them energizes me, makes my probelems go away.
who needs zoloft or xanax?
for you overmedicated Americans, next time you are feeling down, take your nieces or nephews or even your neighbors kids to the park.

the problem with your post is; they wont stay kids and they grow up fast from going to park. before you even caught up, they turn to ungrateful teens and entitled. I already have 3 teenager siblings and four 7 years old - 2.5 months. I pass.

ps; I already play second role of fatherhood and I don't like my freedom is taken already. tan school gey, tan Canada gey, tan Egypt gay!! I don't think my father could do. he is lucky he had me very young age that I took most of responsibilities from him.

mashallah your dad is lucky to have you.
but you are young, dont rush into marriage and kids,
i got married at exactly 30.

to prevent ungrateful and entitled teens you need to work hard on them when they are still children.
If you want to bring kids up in the west you need to work 2-3 times harder to ensure they grow up like you did.
If you slack even a little , thats it.
you will see them becoming gaalo in no time, because they were brought up by TV, social media and school.

If you lived in somalia, you can be a useless father, and your kids still have a good chance of growing up muslim, somali
and relativley well adjusted, because the entire community will raise them.

Inshallah my plan is to bring up my children outside of the west, and only allow them to go there when they turn 18.