Would you do a background check on guy

[Alphanumeric]

You mean arrogance? That's the first flag for me. Conversation doesn't continue and usually you can tell half hour into the first meeting.

[DisplacedDiraac]

Arrogance wasn't the word I was looking for.. But ok..

[greenday]

West do you mean deceiving?

[DisplacedDiraac]

Yeah that's the word..
I need to get some sleep a-sap..

[Alphanumeric]

Well, the whole point is to find out whether or not they are being deceptive. That wouldn't be so apparent, if they're good at playing the miskeen role.

The question is, if they are sincere in their change, but do not put their past on the table clearly, and you don't ask about it directly, how would you know?

Some people have made it clear they would not feel comfortable asking specific questions regarding the person's past.

[greenday]

Alpha, everyone has question regarding the other half if you have any i suggest you ask, if you later find out something that you did not ask it is wrong for you to to judge the person based on them

[Alphanumeric]

Yes, it is wrong to judge someone on something you did not know about them after having the opportunity to find out.

There's an open-ended question to solve this problem...

"Is there anything you feel I should know now that may negatively effect our marriage if it were to be raised later?"

[greenday]

Alpha that is so wrong because what is fine to you might not be fine to the next person, just have break/make questions, you know ones that are deal breakers and ask away the rest you should pick up as you spend time with the person.

[Alphanumeric]

Lol... if I ask the above question, and it comes to surface that something did happen in the past and she breaks down from guilt and confesses a couple months into the marriage, no way would I turn her away.

But, if I ask her directly, and she lies, to my face, about something as important and specific as what I have to ask... then it turns out later on that she is a fraud... that's grounds for divorce.


I'm not entirely heartless.

[greenday]

I agree, thats why is best to ask direct questions, everyone knows where they stand

[Alphanumeric]

I can barely imagine myself getting married. If I asked it directly and it turned out she lied... I'd probably go insane lol.

[DisplacedDiraac]

The question is, if they are sincere in their change, but do not put their past on the table clearly, and you don't ask about it directly, how would you know?

Is this 'things' background checks cant reveal?

Plus there's also the deen aspects aswell.. The dont reveal your sins to others view.

Some people have made it clear they would not feel comfortable asking specific questions regarding the person's past.[/

Whys that? out of xishood/shyness?
When it comes to your life/future I reckon one should be as direct as possible..

[Alphanumeric]

The question is, if they are sincere in their change, but do not put their past on the table clearly, and you don't ask about it directly, how would you know?

Is this 'things' background checks cant reveal?

Plus there's also the deen aspects aswell.. The dont reveal your sins to others view.

Some people have made it clear they would not feel comfortable asking specific questions regarding the person's past.[/

Whys that? out of xishood/shyness?
When it comes to your life/future I reckon one should be as direct as possible..

How do you contradict yourself so easily?

[greenday]

I can barely imagine myself getting married. If I asked it directly and it turned out she lied... I'd probably go insane lol.

This is me I have feeling am gona end up a crazy lady if someone lies to me Am one of them people that "how can they, but hooooow i gave them the chance to tell me, so hoooow "

[Alphanumeric]

green, exactly... I'd probably start lighting stuff on fire