SomaliNet Forums

2016 and people still dwell in qabiil preference?
Dadki hore la gartay lakin kuwa wakhti xaadarkan jooga maxaa helay?

inshallah I am not going to Africa marka mis hoyo is fahmayan, Arabic is a most, omba e daran.

Majority rules.

It don't really matter for me as long as she comes from a respectable fam.

if one's life revolves around qabyaalad and discussions in their household is mostly about Somali clan politics, or was raised to view certain region as their clan region, they mostly will marry from their clan, otherwise that marriage will dissolve and become a victim of Fadhi-ku-dirrir. Like Lama expressed above, but maybe for a different reason, I wanted to emancipate myself from the clan's claim on my existence which led me to never marry or become a business partner from members of "my clan". I don't even welcome clannist relatives to my house. She doesn't either. When I meet them in other venues, then I hear their rumours of, kani waxaa sixreen heblaayo iyo reerahooda.

BVSNet wrote:

SultanOrder wrote: Thats not much more of a stretch from believing you are descended from a man call Hawiye.

How are you BV?

Of course it's more of a stretch, it's what random tribes all over the world have done when Islam came to them: making up stories to tie themselves more closely to Arabs. Can you imagine the identity crisis my children would have when what their eedos tell them and what their mother tells them are diametrically opposed, nah mate, I am protecting my progeny


I'm good PO, it's been a while. I've grown old and realised I've been lied to about how exciting dating is supposed to be, it's tedious. What about you, how's life been?

Thank god for eedo's, they keep us grounded on our pedigree. I wonder if my ceyr great-grandmother had such dilemmas, but I'm confident she made the right choice.

Old? I can't believe you feel old, if that's how you feel now how will you feel in the near-future? Life is a blessing, even the tedious and mundane. My biggest struggles have been learning to walk after a car accident, things move at a slower pace when you can't move very fast.

VeiledGarbasar wrote:

SultanOrder wrote:

VeiledGarbasar wrote:
Aayo we call mothers sister. Step mother we call Eedo. But yeah habar wadaag I understand too, and yeah I mean that. I always used to hear it isn't good, apparently the kids always don't turn out good. Etc etc.

I have never really seen aayo used, only as I grew up I learned what it means. My step mom I call eedo.

If you knew moi, then you'd hear me say Aayo

Btw, it is nice seeing you mA.

My habo's are back home, so they taught me Habo or Hooyo. But to each their own.

It's nice seeing you too Warsan.

ps didn't you already reveal you got married on here?

InaSamaale wrote:
Lool I wouldn't be surprised. Behind every patriarchial tradition, are a group of women peddling it.

Qorqod sounds so demeaning. I'm not sure whether to be offended on his behalf or thank you yet again for another Somali language lesson.

Well, I still think there is a division of labour even though we live in a globalised world where the rules governing the roles of gender have been questioned, redesigned and blurred.

Imagine travelling to Africa with him; the kitchens are not that sophisticated and is not the place for the family to gather. and he heads directly to the kitchen and take command. The Xaawaleys will be having a field day

Although I consider myself a "modern" man and live in a country where the kitchen is the best place to be, I am still a product of my culture and there is this feeling everytime I visit it.

My wife is actually not darood. I know marriages between the same laf and jilib and even as close as ilma adeer cousins that failed miserably. The key to make a marriage work is to select a compatible partner. If you find one a compatible person from your tribe there is no need to decline the marriage and inversely if you find one from a different tribe there is again no need to decline the marriage. Being two different clans will not break your marriage..being incompatible will.

metamorphosis wrote:My wife is actually not darood. I know marriages between the same laf and jilib and even as close as ilma adeer cousins that failed miserably. The key to make a marriage work is to select a compatible partner. If you find one a compatible person from your tribe there is no need to decline the marriage and inversely if you find one from a different tribe there is again no need to decline the marriage. Being two different clans will not break your marriage..being incompatible will.

Dr Metamorphosis is right.

Essence89 wrote:2016 and people still dwell in qabiil preference?
Dadki hore la gartay lakin kuwa wakhti xaadarkan jooga maxaa helay?

it's not about just qabil. it's about culture.
for example a man from back home do not understand a girl who has never been in somali even if they are same clan or first cousins. meanwhile if are raised in same environment let's say gulf countries, or europe, north america you can understand each other easily.

The question comes from a false premise that assumes the "women" have Qabiil, which they don't, hence the answer is very simple. What's most important is compatibility and family, a bad girl related is 100x worse then a bad girl that's unrelated.

I personally have a preference to keep it in the village only because I see my long term future there and do not want to go through issues laters, if I didn't, couldn't careless, the only stipulation is that she is of indigenous Somali origin, some major clan's are not indigenously Somali and hence automatically ruled out.

Hyperactive wrote:inshallah I am not going to Africa marka mis hoyo is fahmayan, Arabic is a most, omba e daran.

lol. waar mid aan arabic garayn ayaa ku fiican si aad somaliga igu practice garaysid

metamorphosis wrote:My wife is actually not darood. I know marriages between the same laf and jilib and even as close as ilma adeer cousins that failed miserably. The key to make a marriage work is to select a compatible partner. If you find one a compatible person from your tribe there is no need to decline the marriage and inversely if you find one from a different tribe there is again no need to decline the marriage. Being two different clans will not break your marriage..being incompatible will.

Tf didn't you go on your first date a few months back?



Whatever happened to Colonol?

SultanOrder wrote:

metamorphosis wrote:My wife is actually not darood. I know marriages between the same laf and jilib and even as close as ilma adeer cousins that failed miserably. The key to make a marriage work is to select a compatible partner. If you find one a compatible person from your tribe there is no need to decline the marriage and inversely if you find one from a different tribe there is again no need to decline the marriage. Being two different clans will not break your marriage..being incompatible will.

Tf didn't you go on your first date a few months back?



Whatever happened to Colonol?

I married her bro..after 2 and half months. Colonel comes once in a while i have no idea what happened to him.